I Remember Pink
by his-little-troll
Summary: Kaka/Saku. The Filth Disease has stolen the mind of one silver haired shinobi. Is Sakura strong enough to bring him back before there is no return?
1. Prologue

The silver haired 14 year old lay impatiently on the hospital bed. Apparently, they had run out of rooms in his usual area so they had moved him to most aggravating of all places: the hallway. Why anyone would put a big, bulky bed in the middle of a hallway was beyond him. Especially when people kept running around screaming and acting like everything was going wrong and right at the same time. It was chaos. Sleep was impossible and everything was so loud. People were rushing by as though he wasn't even there.

With another rueful sigh, Kakashi turned to the room beside him. They had placed him right across from another ninja and he had not a clue as to what had happened to cause the family such grief. All he knew was that when the mother walked in with a peculiar young child, he had been unable to pry his mind and interest from everything behind the doors. Without a doubt they were an interesting family. He could hardly look away. At first it was shock. He could have sworn that that little baby had pink hair. The child was always wide awake and normally stared straight at him with bubblegum hair and dark eyes that gleamed green. The mother came back every day and left every night crying. Still the baby only stared at him. She may as well have talked to him every day. Their silent communications had become a strange comfort to him.

Before he had been told to leave, the mother had stopped coming and the man had been removed. He knew that day that a new name of a brave soldier had been carved carefully into the memorial stone.

_6 years later…_

The same silver haired boy sat depressed at a bar early in the night. He had intended to do nothing more than this far into the morning until he saw just a flash of pink go pass the door and curiosity pulled quietly at his mind. Where had he seen that certain shade of pink before? Paying his bill and stumbling from the stool, he managed to find his way outside and in the general direction he had seen the unusual color going. With blurred eyes and sloppy steps, he searched the crowds. He had almost given up hope before he reached the children's park. It was there that he found her.

She was sitting on a bench, holding a small scarecrow doll. At the irony of such a thing, Kakashi found himself letting out a grin. That same grin quickly disappeared when he saw the tears falling steadily down the little girl's face. Concerned, albeit a little unfocused, he leaned down to ask her what was wrong ; it was that precise moment that the world chose to tip. So he ended up flat on his back with the wind knocked unceremoniously from his lungs. He was wholly unwilling to attempt to stand again. Instead he chose to speak to the small girl from his place on the ground.

"Do you mind if I lay here?" He pointed to his uncomfortable resting area on the gravelly, shifting rocks of the playground and looked out of the corner of his eye to see her shaking her head no. "Ok. Now, what would be the matter with you, little girl?" The child had the most peculiar smell. She smelled like candies and fruits and innocence. For a jaded ninja such as himself, it was a long ago memory for anyone to remind him of innocence.

"Well… Mommy says I can't go to the daughter-father dance at the Academy." There was a renewed strength in her sniffles. "Mommy said Daddy is gone and he won't be able to come back. Are you a daddy?" This had obviously been a big issue for the young girl. Too young to realize her loss and too old to be unaffected, this little pink one was in the place where few tread and none heal.

"No. I'm not. But I know many daddies."

"It's ok. I mean, I don't know him. Mommy just gets really sad when she talks about him. He died."

"I lost my daddy too you know."

"I'm sorry. Why do people lose daddies?"

"I don't know. Cause life has to be a real pain I guess." She just looked at him as he realized the depressing state of his night. Why did even children have to remind him that his life sucks and that even their lives suck and everything is doomed to failure? Then the strangest question from the little girl pierced through his brooding questions and spotlighted her innocence once again.

"Can you see go to the dance with me?" A look of true and genuine wonder adorned her eyes. He found himself laughing. If he was honest, it wasn't laughing… It was giggling. A pink haired child had just made him giggle.

"No." The disappointment on her face almost made him change his mind. She had no understanding of how it would look for him to show up with her at the dance. She had absolutely no concern about social etiquettes at all. Children were true wonders.

"I understand. I wouldn't want to go with a big forehead like me either."

"That's not it at all! You are a beautiful little girl. Any daddy would be lucky to have a daughter as kind and lovely as you." He smiled at her and hoped his sincerity showed.

From the distance he heard a woman's voice yelling out "Sakura!" in a very frightened tone. The little girl shifted uncomfortably and he realized this was probably the ideal time to leave. No mother would quite be happy to walk up to her daughter in deep conversation with a battle hardened ninja. And no hokage would be quite understanding when he tried to explain that he had been intrigued by her pink hair and complete abandon for rules. He'd only just stood to leave when he felt a small hand pull at his sweats.

"Yes?" All she did was hold up a pretty red scarf. She had a smile on her face and he knew she meant for him to keep it. "For me?" She nodded and he gingerly took it. "Thank you. I'll keep this forever." Folding it carefully, he put it in his pouch. Then little Sakura ran off to her mother and Kakashi simply poofed away home.

He had unfolded the scarf and stared at it. Embroidered in very small black letters in the corner was the name 'Sakura Haruno'. It was warm in his hand and even though it was too thin to really be much use, he couldn't deny that his entire body just felt better for holding it. Without word or extended thought on the subject, he tore off the little girl's name and wrapped the scarf around his neck. Somehow, the memory of his father seemed a lot less scary when he could tie it to the little girl asking him to escort her as her daddy replacement.

_6 years later…_

Kakashi had surprisingly managed to stay alive. Memories of little pink haired babies and scarves had packed themselves safely into a drawer at home where no one could see. Not even he delved deep enough into those times to retrieve even the good memories. After the war and all that it had caused, the broken man simply did not have a desire to see all the death anymore on the field. With sympathy the Hokage had released him of his ANBU duties with the agreement that he would teach. Which is how he had managed to find himself here, trying profusely to ignore these two boys that would simply not shut up. He had been here for an hour or two, curious about his new students. One was said to have the most unusual pink hair and he couldn't quite remember why that made him bothered so much. Images of red scarves and dark green eyes danced right on the edge of his conscience, threatening to spill over to real memories, just out of his reach.

He was on the verge of giving up on this mystery student's appearance when she walked in. Honestly, she was nothing special aside from that long pink hair and those dark green eyes. She was simply a rather plain looking twelve year old girl. But something about that pink hair intrigued him. So he stayed and observed her. She had an annoying obsession with the Uchiha and deep revulsion for the blond headed Uzimaki. Her voice sqeaked horribly when she tried to sound cute but had volumes more maturity when she didn't think anyone actually cared. And her entire demeanor changed whenever she talked about being a ninja and all that went along with it. She might just be another great warrior if she was truly as interested as she seemed.

And so with no further delays, Kakashi hurriedly walked into the classroom and straight through a trap. The pink haired girl huffed at his incompetence while the other two laughed and Kakashi had to remind himself that they were all 12 and people would wonder if they came up missing.

The first time she impressed him with her ninja skills, Kakashi found he was pleasantly surprised. He watched the two boys that he had given so much credit, seen so much potential in, fail over and over. With a smirk and a nonchalant glance over her shoulder Sakura strode easily up the tree and sat content as a kitten on a high branch. Had he seen then what a greater teacher saw later, he never would have let this student slip from his grasp so quickly. And yet, maybe it was better he did.

_Chunin exams…_

Something had happened that Sakura wouldn't tell. Kakashi could only look at that shredded pink hair and wonder. She seemed stronger, more sure of herself and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Soon it was going to be her turn to fight, and aside from concerned glances to her team mates, she was cool as ice. Again he considered going over there and asking her if there was something she needed to tell him about her sudden hair cut. Again his mind convinced him that she was a big girl and could handle herself. So he sat quietly and watched. It was a decision he would always regret.

When she was paired up against Ino, Kakashi only smiled. He could be confident now. There would be no senseless beating of the poor girl. She may get out of this with only a few bumps, bruises, and a "there will be next time" speech. As the fight began, he was surprised to see the fire burn in her eyes at this blonde who he had never heard of or seen. He had never guessed that Sakura could so determined. And as the fight progressed he found himself surprised at how relentless she was. He may not have trained her well, but somehow she had turned into a decent fighter.

All had seemed lost when Ino wriggled into Sakura's mind. Nothing could have prepared anyone for what happened next. Sakura's hand had slowly inched up in a signal to give up the fight, nearly ending everything. Yet, before she could officially be considered out, the hand stopped. Sakura's face twisted. Those green eyes refocused. All of the sudden she was back and before anyone knew what to do, both girls were out cold. But everyone knew the truth. Sakura had won. She had beat Ino's only trick. She had become special in that moment. She had a name, a purpose, she became the girl with potential instead of just the girl with a dream.

When Kakashi went to gather up his student, he only smiled. She may be the weakest of his team, but she was his favorite. For reasons like this, for moments like these, she would always be his number one favorite. He had always seen the danger that lurked just under her; the tiger that hid just underneath her kitten façade. Asuma had seen it too. There was no missing the look of surprise and understanding that he had shot Kakashi from across the arena.

Unfortunately, he would later find, his favorite would have to wait. His other two students were begging his attention in the most grievous ways. One was quickly being over taken by a sick man with sick habits and nothing but death and cruelty in his sights. The other was being consumed from the inside out by a power he didn't understand and the inevitable betrayal of his poor friend. With these overwhelming circumstances, he hardly had time to get the girl out of his arms, let alone congratulate her. It had never entered his mind that her life was just as tangled and mangled as theirs. As always there was no help for the Haruno.

It backfired on him when she was nearly killed in the cross fires of Naruto's and Sasuke's death match. Had he been paying more attention the her he would have known that the calm determination had slipped and that she had noticed much more about his team than he had. Had he paid attention to any of them as much as he should he would have seen the wounds and the fissures and may have prevented everything. But even after he saved her from impending doom he didn't listen. He had yet to save her from the shattering of every little piece of her heart.

Sasuke left that night; Sakura looked on helplessly. And though she fought him the best she could -though she begged- she woke up alone on that bench. And Kakashi could only stare at her and wish he had a clue what happened. But beyond 'He left,' he really couldn't get much from her. And surprisingly, no one else could either. Everyone had expected Sakura to fold and break and cry for hours. They expected to hear in detail everything that had happened between her and Sasuke when he left and for her to sit at home and wait on him. One should always expect the unexpected, however: especially when it concerned the Haruno girl.

The day Naruto began his training and ran off was the day her eyes began to turn to cold. That was the day he decided that maybe he should start paying more attention to her. It was also right around the time that Tsunade discovered that Sakura was a rare jewel to behold. Especially when it came to her expertise: chakra control. She was whisked away before he had barely scratched the surface of her pains.

So Kakashi knew and did not know this girl. He understood in the deepest areas who she was but never could see all the things she had become. Something about those pink strands comforted him and though he knew somewhere in him why, there was nothing to ever remind him. Until the fateful day when Tsunade decided it was time for Sakura to kick it up a notch. And that Kakashi should be the one to make sure she knew how. He would finally be a teacher to his most abandoned student. And he was entirely unprepared.

_Present day…_

Despite all his training and all his personal policies that screamed against it, Kakashi sat in a bar tonight. He had ordered a simple drink, icy and ready to gulp down. It would chase his fear away and make him all warm and fuzzy and it would ruin him in the morning when he had a hangover the size of Konoha. It was also almost an hour later and the drink was now lukewarm and filled to the brink. Apparently he had bought the thing just to stare at it. Every attempt he had to pull the glass to his lips and take a long, soothing sip had ended in a flash of pink and a tinkling laugh stomping its way through his mind. Curse Tsunade and her infallible logic. Curse his mutinous brain and his racing heart. Curse his very, very talented and dangerous student.

He had just repeated the cycle of lifting and dropping his drink when the stool beside him was suddenly not empty anymore. He was going to miss that empty stool. It had been replaced with his own personal hell.

"I see you're already doing something reckless." The unexplainable anger was there again and he still found no way to evade it. "Seriously, do you have to drink before a mission?" She had ordered a milk and immediately started what he was sure was only a slightly hypocritical tirade. She was never this snappy. Where had that adoring student run off too? He really should find her again.

"Well, if you must know, I apparently only bought it to stare at. I haven't drank a single sip. I've tried. I guess my mind committed mutiny." _Just like everyone else…_

"Why are you even trying to drink anyway?" Her eyes were narrowed and her hand was clenched tightly around her milk, which she had not touched.

"Why did you come to a bar without any intentions of drinking?"

The two stared at the other, neither wanting to answer their questions.

"I'm not happy about this you know."

"I'd have never guessed." He quirked his brow at her. Without another word, he got up and turned to leave. A hand tugging on his sleeve made him falter.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry. I'm nervous about this mission." The cold look in her green eyes was gone, and in its place was fear. He didn't know which he preferred; so, he settled on not liking either. "Can we talk?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura. You know I can't discuss this mission with you in public." At her stricken expression, he continued. "Why don't we go to the training grounds and talk about it?" A concerned eye crinkle is all that told her his face had even changed.

"No. I'll be fine, really." The stony glint in her eyes was back in place and she shut herself off.

Seeing that he was not and would not be getting any where, he left, heading home. By the time his head hit his pillow, Sakura was on her fifth 'whatever he had' and happily glaring at any person who tried to ask her if every thing was ok.

The next morning Kakashi and Sakura met at the edge of town, both dressed and ready to go. It was an altogether tense beginning to what both hoped would be a quick and clean mission. But one knew, and the other guessed, that nothing would be quick or clean about this particular mission. The details were too gruesome and the stakes too high for this to be anything but a blood and gore battle. Both of them had been on missions like this before, and most often together, so neither were new to this situation.

In a small village just on the outside of the Hidden Mist, an increasingly horrific set of murders had accumulated. Having come to distrust their closest help, and not wanting to stray from those that had proven trustworthy over time, the village had asked for Konaha's smallest and quickest army. In turn they received Sakura and Kakashi. They were told to pass through every other village quickly and discreetly, to acquire all knowledge they could of the killings, and to allow for Sakura as bait and have Kakashi save the day. It was the last part that had Sakura shaking in her boots. Not many things ever got Sakura afraid.

She had played bait before. Nearly dying as she lured the enemy out into the open was nothing new. It had never bothered her. But this particular mission, this particular time, she did not understand how it had not already killed her. How could anyone ask her to possibly die this way? They had to have read the files. They had to have known her history. She'd had nightmares and visions and nearly screamed in frustration trying to wiggle her way away from this mission. Tsunade had stood obstinately in front of her with a unyielding refusal to remove her from the mission. She said that Sakura would feel proud to have her revenge and would benefit from facing this fear. Besides, they did not have a better qualified candidate.

"So, Sakura. I heard you got slammed last night." The words came out without a drop of sarcasm, and for that she gave him props. Props he lost as soon as she looked at him to find his eyes smirking at her.

"I have my own reasons." _Please don't ask._

"I believe I at least deserve an explanation."

"Shut it, Kakashi." Her head was pounding and she just wanted to stop everything and leave. The last thing she needed was a guilt trip. Didn't he realize the struggles she was having?

"Come on now Sakura. You know as well as I do that its against protocol to get drunk before or during a mission. You're putting my life in danger as well as your life. To have a hangover puts you at a disadvantage to your possible opponent." She knew that miniscule, aggravating smirk in his eyes had not yet realized that it was entirely uninvited.

"I know the risks Kakashi. I'll be fine." She glared at him, daring him to continue.

"Nagging at your team leader about the dangers of drinking and then consequently getting slobbering drunk does not seem like you know the risks or that you're fine. What is it Sakura?" Her glare subsided as she saw that it was no longer a smirk in his eyes, but genuine concern.

"Shut it, Kakashi." Her voice dripped venom, so he decided to drop the issue. All personal feelings aside, Kakashi knew Sakura. She'd never drank before a mission before. As a medic and a ninja, she knew more than most that the dangers of fighting while impaired, either while drunk or hung over, were more severe than most would ever realize.

At noon they decided to take a break by a small flowing creek. Both were hot and thirsty and neither of their moods had alleviated any. They were deep enough into the woods that Konoha would not be quick to return to. They were only about a day or so from the village they were supposed to stop at first. After a quick stop to restock their canteens and possibly get a quick bite they would continue on their quietly angry and entirely tense walk. At least, that's what would have happened. Kakashi wished very much that's what did happened.

Everything changed while they were filling up their canteens. Nothing had seemed out of the usual, no one had said or done anything to provoke it. But that did not prevent anything. Kakashi very nearly turned around and went home to turn in all his shinobi things and sit quietly at home for the rest of his life and never face his favorite student again.

Sakura had been filling her last container when Kakashi had returned from bladder relief. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her clothes were rolled and tucked and tied to cover as little as decent while she cooled off. He had just sat to fill his own canteen when it hit him like a truck. It was sweet and tangy and thick like a blanket. It was her smell. And Kakashi was enthralled.

With a name like Sakura, and hair to match, he had expected her to smell flowery. Or light and fluffy and pink. What he didn't expect was a smell that reminded him of strawberry wine and chocolate and tussles in the sheets. She smelled like sweat and candy and fruit with an underlying tang that was all her own. It smelled familiar and completely and totally different all at the same time. Guilt consumed him. He wanted to lean over and lick her just to see if she tasted so good. Since when has a person ever smelled so absolutely, wonderfully, delectably delicious? Wasn't that a sin of some sort? Wasn't it a sin to like the very smell of his 19 year old student?

She seemed blissfully unaware of how amazing she had suddenly become to him. Innocently, she continued her task without so much as a coy smirk or a giggle at how suddenly _aware _he was of her. His mind had suddenly stopped. Though his hands still filled and his eyes still saw, his mind had quit on him. He was still filling his canteen when a small finger poked him peculiarly close to his eyeball. Had he been anyone else he may have jumped a mile high. Of course he was the Copy-Nin of Konoha. So he only jumped a little.

"Are you ready?" Having his mind thrown back at him made him realize that the canteen he had been filling for nearly ten minutes now was continuously spilling out into the water. He could only hope she had not noticed. A glance at her told him she had, but he knew she'd respect him enough not to pry. He also knew she'd never connect his odd behavior to her. She wasn't conceited enough to recognize a grown man ogling her. Hopefully.

"Yeah, sure. Just filling up with the good stuff." With an eye crinkle and a small salute, he gathered his supplies and headed back out. He may have headed the wrong direction, but he headed out nonetheless. It took him almost a full minute to recognize his mistake.

"Um, Kakashi, I think we're supposed to go this way." She pointed to the opposite direction, a concerned look on her eyes. "You didn't eat anything while you were out there did you? I mean, considering how experienced you are, I wouldn't have expected you to, but you're acting a little strange. I know that sometimes even ninjas make mistakes when they get curious or something catches their eye or-" A finger was placed silently on her mouth as Kakashi walked by and anger burned her face red as he simply said:

"Shut it, Sakura."

"Well, I guess you can just suffer then." With a huff she crossed her arms, intent to stay silent forever.

"No. And that means you'd have to complete the mission alone and lie to everyone Sakura. I don't peg you as the type." He saw her hands fall to her sides and her face fall in shock.

The words 'complete the mission alone' had her staggering and so she didn't press the issue any further. "Jerk."

Ignoring her, but not wanting the conversation to end, lest his mind be free to wander towards fruits and candies, Kakashi asked the only question that seemed to hold any potential. "So, what has you nervous about the mission?"

"I'm not nervous."

"I see. So why did you tell me last night that you were?" He glanced at her and knew this was the wrong thing to do. His heart thumped wildly in his chest at the sight of her eyes downcast and her hands twining. She bit her lip just slightly.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." Her voice was quiet and her cheeks were red.

"I think it is. If it endangers my life, or the mission, I should know." He gave her a pointed look even as he tried to make his voice more tender.

"This particular mission hit's a little too close to home. It's not like I can't do it. I specialize in recognizing and overcoming mental attacks."

"And so you're nervous because your especially qualified for the job? That's ridiculous, Sakura." An eye crinkle told her he was smiling. That didn't help the anger that flared in her chest. "I may not have been much of a teacher-"

"You're right. You weren't. You didn't teach me anything. I don't believe you've done anything but ignore me as a student." It had burst forth and there had been nothing she could do to stop it. "So why care now?"

"… But you can trust me Sakura. I can't reverse what I've done, but you can trust me." His voice was small and soft and she knew he told the truth. As quickly as it had bubbled up, her anger cooled.

"Ok. But I can't tell you right now." Her eyes had shot to the right of him, staring at the small, tell-tale tip of a sandal between the leaves. "We have a listener." Quick as ever to action, Sakura was already bounding towards the offender. There was no mistaking the way her shoulders had slackened and the color in her face had returned in her relief.

Kakashi followed her to see the blue in the green. Surely the eavesdropper knew that he had been spotted. Why did he linger, unmoving? The foot was placed awkwardly, as if it did not support the weight of a grown ninja on the tree, but simply hung limply above it. Something was wrong here. And why had there been no chakra signal? Did he travel alone? Closing his eyes, Kakashi pushed further into his surroundings with his chakra, searching for the lightest trace of this man who did not belong. No one could completely remove that signature on their own. He could sense the remnants of a jutsu, though he could tell it was old and inactive. Beyond that there was the absence of anything alive. No chakra, no life signal… It could only mean…

Before he could tell Sakura, she had already began to cut down the fallen ninja. He had been strung up by a handmade rope, all limbs tied to a separate branch on the tree.

Apparently some curious forest animal had gnawed through the knots that held this foot up, and so it gave the illusion that he had been lazily standing on the branch. Upon further inspection, they found that he had been thoroughly drenched and stuffed with all the smells of the forest so as to not draw attention to the stench of rotting flesh. His eyes had been gouged out, his stomach removed. This appeared to not be the cause of his death however. The telling signs of a genjutsu were relevant in the panic marks that graced nearly every inch of his body. This was the jutsu that Kakashi had sensed traces of before he had known without doubt that the unfortunate soldier was dead. There was no telling how many of those marks were from his panicked self attack or how many were from hungry forest animals. He appeared to have been up there for a while, a week at least. At some point the forest covering had probably not been enough to mask his smell, but when no one had come by to discover him, even that powerful of a stench would have reached equilibrium and faded. It was helped along by the devouring of his softer flesh.

The empty eye sockets were surrounded in scratches and his nails were broken and bloody. His jaw had popped in what looked like a terrified scream taken too far. Blood stains trickled from his nose, and his wrists had dark swollen bruises from his struggle against the ropes. Apparently the illusion had continued after he had been tied up. Their murderer had struck violently again. The man before him had all the echoing characteristics of the pictures they had been given by Tsunade. It seemed her warnings to watch for any new victims along the way had not been as pointless as it had seemed. It took an arrogant killer to leave his victims lying around to feed their forest friends. How many others had gone unnoticed? How could someone so uncontrolled manage to learn and conquer such a horrific weapon and not succumb to it himself?

Kakashi had just finished up taking notes on the body when he turned to ask Sakura what she thought. It did not take much to realize that Sakura was not ok. Something was terribly wrong. Her skin was pale and her lips quivered. Her eyes seemed far off and distant, as if some memory had wrapped itself around her mind and would not let go. Her body shook just slightly, growing more urgent at every passing second. Her forehead had already broken out in a cold sweat as quick, shallow breaths made her chest rise and fall unevenly, her knees beginning to buckle as she promptly began to hyperventilate. With a curse Kakashi ran towards her, catching her just in time enough to break her fall. Her eyes remained far away as he dragged her back to her feet by her shoulders. Her eyelids drooped heavily and he knew it was just a matter of time before she entirely passed out. With an initial check to see if she had possibly picked up on the genjutsu residue that may have clung to her from what was used on the body of the unknown man, he tried to move her in a more manageable position. Seeing that she was clear, he collapsed with her onto the forest floor and worked frantically to calm her down. The tips of her fingers were already going white and the rosy color of her lips was beginning to seep away. Her breathing was slowing already. He knew her blood was all trying to move to her core and he did not see the irony in his medic nin dying of a panic attack.

"Sakura? Sakura! Come on girl, snap out of it. It's just a dead body. We've seen plenty of these. Sakura!" Her eyes had flickered to the back of her head and he could tell she was slipping into unconsciousness. Picking her up like a mother picks up a babe, he cradled her head on his shoulder. "Shhh… Sakura, come on now. It'll be alright. Snap out of it girl. Shhh…" His hand wove through her hair and gently rubbed her scalp in an attempt to soothe her. "Shhh…" Her body wasn't as small as it should have been for this position, and he found her rather difficult to hold without it feeling awkward. Shoulders were too high for hands, hands were too low. Unfortunately, once she had realized he was providing her with an anchor, she clamped her legs and arms around him like a vice. For a girl with the strength to shatter full grown trees this was not at all comfortable. He had to fight for each breath. He remained unaltered in his attempts to help her.

After a short while he felt her heart rate return to normal and her lips no longer looked like they belonged to a ghost. Color seemed to be flooding her body as oxygen returned to all her limbs. Her mouth twitched as she started to come to. With each of her little movements her scent swelled and Kakashi felt the stress of the situation crash onto his shoulders. A small groan of relief escape him as her eyes blinked slowly open and her grip on him loosened. His dark eye dropped closed as he inhaled her sweetness, only made stronger by the panic that had overwhelmed her. He sat against the dead man's tree with her wrapped around his torso and brought his other hand to stroke her back. His cooing had never stopped, but it had lost all thought behind it. His head had began to spin under her intoxicating presence and his relief that she was fine. Fingers that endlessly tangled in pink locks had become alive at how soft and smooth and delicate each strand felt against them. Tears fell silently down her cheeks before she buried her face in his shirt and cried deeply. The hair on his neck had raised as her hiccupping breaths slowly turned to the slow, shaky sighs that ran into his flesh with innocent mind numbing abilities. She relaxed and let her body fall slowly further into his lap. So far gone was he, that it took him a long time to realize she had finally stopped crying and had started moving her hands in a loose hug around his torso. This realization snapped him out of his reverie and he was once again the supportive teacher she probably thought he was at the moment.

"Sakura, tell me what happened." He felt a small movement against his color bone that he recognized to be her head shaking a very furious no. Weak fingers that only moments before had been white and limp clenched the fabric at the back of his shirt. "I believe this falls under jeopardizing our lives and the mission. And scaring me half to death. Tell me." A more hesitant no this time. Only the situation made him pull out his next card. It was the lowest of all low blows.

"I'll have to take you home Sakura… If you're going to react like this at just a victim, I can't imagine you'll do any better against the real deal." She held her breath and Kakashi knew he had won. "It's ok. I won't tell anyone." Even before the words left his lips he knew that he would keep his promise.

His collar bone felt abandoned as her head pulled back. It was all he could do not to gasp as he looked into the eyes he had missed for so long. Instead of icy emeralds that had possessed his loving student recently, he was looking into the passionate, afraid and emotional absolutely beautiful green eyes of the Sakura he knew. Her hands dragged forward from his back and this time there was no holding his sharp intake of breath. She didn't notice as she wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked away, biting her lip absently.

"Why do daddy's have to die?"


	2. Liar

"Why do daddies have to die?"

The question echoed in Kakashi's mind and he found himself unable to even think. His mouth dropped, his blood had stopped, his breath had stilled, and he could only hope she didn't feel the frantic thrashing his heart was giving his chest. The scarf that sat in the second drawer in the back left corner, folded and well worn, flitted to his mind and he struggled to remember the name he had torn off. He seemed to remember the little girl having the most peculiar… pink hair. With a mouth as dry as a thousand year old well, Kakashi found himself giving a very, very familiar answer.

"I don't know. Cause life has to be a pain I guess." He was sure that his voice trembled. If so, she didn't notice. Her eyes stayed far from his and she seemed to be just as vulnerable as the little girl that had asked him to take her to the dance those many, many years ago. As drunk as he was that night, he couldn't convince himself that that little girl hadn't had pink hair. That it was a coincidence that she was the same age as Sakura would've been and had lost a father as well.

"Yeah. Well, it doesn't need to be a pain in this particular way at this particular time with this particular mission." She let out a shaky sigh and laid her head back against his chest, her hands idly wrapping around his shoulder. He almost barely managed to ignore the swell of candy and sweat overtaking his senses. _Almost. _She pressed on, unaware that Kakashi had gone completely still beneath her. "My father died when I was just a baby. I didn't know how until just recently. He was trapped in a gruesome genjutsu that neither he nor anyone else could figure out how to save him from. Medic nins didn't know all that they know now. Genjutsu was and still are the most complicated injuries to heal. I was too young to know anything about it. All I knew was that about once a year my mom had nightmares that tore her awake every night for a straight month. She wouldn't ever tell me they were directly linked to my father's passing, but I always knew that they were. Around that time was also when we'd go visit the stone. She didn't know, but whenever I had ever needed a daddy, I'd go sit there and pretend he was there to love me and tell me what to do." She pressed a soft smile into his shirt. The idea was not new to him. He still visited Obito everyday. "She never did tell me what happened. The stone is all she would risk leaving the house for. She lived in such fear every day that she never ventured outside or did anything. Agoraphobia never was more prominent in Konoha than in the doors of the Haruno house."

"How did you find out?" He knew there was no way she would not hear how his words were suddenly windless. At this point in time he was both the most aware and the least aware of her he had ever been. Each word out of her mouth caught his unique attention as he measured how her voice held a slow, soft purring quality to it. So different from the crying little girl... The meanings of the words made him realize just how little about her he really knew. He was aware of how her hair was tangled, and her face swollen, her lip bruised from her unending chewing and she was still beautiful. The conversation brought with it memories that were blurry and vague but old and real. That pure and perfect memory that had lightened his heart was continuing as the small child grew into an adult and found out that dad's are irreplaceable. Resentment at the tainting of his treasure and awe that she would trust him with such personal secrets battled in his heart.

"I'm a medic nin. I just one day realized I could pick up his file and look at everything they had. They had pictures. He had scratched his eyes until he had torn his eyelids and started scratching out his own eyes. His nails and hands were bleeding. His skin was stretched across his bones and so pale. Of course, there were more scratches across his face than those that had been left by him; the other ninja had dealt his own dealing of damage. The genjustu dealt the most though. Apparently before someone had been able to get to him, he had stabbed himself a couple of times with a kunai. He must've thought the pain would make the genjutsu go away." Tears again silently slipped down her face, but Sakura did nothing to wipe them away. This was sorrow. "I became quickly obsessed with learning who he was. I searched for pictures of him in the house, looked for any letters he might have left my mother when they were courting. I could never figure it out. All of this sorrow over his death, yet not a single reminder of his life?" She shook her head and he could see this had been a topic of much mental anguish since the discovery had been made. "I finally found some things from an unexpected source... Kurenai had a box of his things. She had left it on my desk one day after finding out I had began an obsessive search. She didn't think I would know it was hers, but people underestimate how easily I can read chakra signals. She had sealed it for a very, very long time. Inside were pictures and letters and a pair of his gloves and even a small orange book. It was the most I had ever known my father. And to die the way he did, I couldn't bear to imagine it. That's why I'm so good at genjutsu. Mom had insisted I practice it every single time I could. If I wanted to be something, ever, in the world of my mother, I was going to be a ninja. A good one, a talented one. Someone more talented than my father. She always stressed that I needed to work really hard on genjutsu. She wasn't losing another to those sick mind tricks. But seeing his death made me afraid. Because I had learned something else from that folder: there is one Ninja line in particular that the Haruno family is susceptible to. The youngest of theirs was young in my father's day, just barely behind bars when he slithered away. They were an old and violent family and they haven't been heard of since. There are so many similarities…" Her voice trailed away and she fell silent as her fears and worries seemed to overwhelm her thoughts.

Kakashi had stopped being amazed at how she affected him and had opted for listening to her as much as he could. This was so much of her life he hadn't known. "Surely not this one? Sakura, there's a thousand different people who know powerful genjutsu. This isn't the one that killed your father. That one has probably died already. You don't live the life of such danger and not get someone that's stronger and bigger than you. I've heard stories of your father, Sakura. He was a powerful ninja, and he is very respected among the elite. There are things that he did that you would be so proud of Sakura, people he saved."

With a shrug, Sakura blew off his statement. "It doesn't matter if it's the same criminal. Doesn't have to be. The similarities make it hard for my mind to differentiate. But Kakashi, I'll be ok. You just have to help me through every now and then. I know you're here and you'll fix anything. My dad died before we knew all the potential of the Sharingan. You can save me whenever you like. And I'm not likely to get caught off guard, I've never met a genjutsu that couldn't be mastered."

"It's not always that simple, Sakura." She looked at him quizzically, but he had had enough of these newfound dark memories that Sakura held, and all the darker things that they held for her future. "I'll explain later Sakura. For now, we need to get in at least a couple of hours of walking." He ignored the way his mind tried to force him back over to her as he walked away. Sakura was not a drug. He would not treat her like she was. And running to her to greedily pull her into his face and just smell all of her wonderful skin and touch every soft area of her face that he could manage and have her fingers playing through his hair as his fingers played in hers was definitely treating her like a drug. A glorious, heartbroken, beautiful drug. He was royally screwed.

He knew it seemed completely cruel to just walk away after her story of the sick and vile things she had had to endure, but he simply didn't know what kind of response he could have, what she could have expected him to do. There was nothing he knew of that would help her. So he even surprised himself when he turned unexpectedly and looked her dead in the eyes.

"You can always trust me, Sakura." A small lift of his hand in a salute brought a weak and confused smile to her face. "You've always been my favorite." With that he walked on. He trusted she would follow in time and didn't look back.

The forest was quiet around him as he walked away. His hasty exit was just as much about giving him time to recover as her. How had he not known about all this in her life? Why had everything been kept so secret? Normally stories as gruesome as this were used as examples to teach caution and team work to new recruits into the elite forces. Sakura's father had not been a nobody ninja. How come no one had ever learned exactly what circumstances he had died under? Had no officials ever checked on the family and seen how they was coping? Why did so many things seem to lack any adherence to protocol that all ninja families were held under? There was a red flag blaring in his face and for all the life in him he couldn't figure out what was hiding underneath it. Why would Tsunade ever send Sakura on a mission like this knowing the complications she would face?

Sakura took a moment to smooth out her clothes and let her sniffles fade away. When she was satisfied that only puffy redness of her eyes would tattle on her nervous breakdown she followed after her comrade. Having this fear out in the open was something Sakura was skeptical about. In one hand, it could prove to be for the best if Kakashi could figure out how to help her pass the worst of the genjutsu this demon that plagued the village had to offer. Her old teacher may not have really been much of a teacher at all, but he was at least a good man. A good man with a big, scarred heart and a strange soft spot for his pink haired student; it had come to be a fact she couldn't deny. His favoritism towards her was unmistakable. She severely doubted Sasuke or Naruto would have gotten such soothing words from him. She knew that the sight of their tears didn't make his heart rate sky rocket and his breathing stop like a deer caught in headlights. He had a fear for her and care for her that she had never seen him display towards anyone living. The only thing that had ever resembled that look in his eye was his stories of Obito and Rin.

She had always seen it there, even when he pointedly ignored her as a student. He would take the brunt of her work from her shoulders. He would fight her share of the villains when they went to play superhero for the village. He would always have a pat on her head when she had nothing left to remind her of the goodness of people. And sometimes, when she returned from a mission so late in the night that even the bars of the village lay asleep in the dark, she would see the tall and thin silhouette and know he had been waiting there all day. He would always just smile at her and ruffle her hair before he popped away into the night. She may have never understood why, but she had to admit, she was truly his favorite student. The thought sent a warmth racing through her skin that she couldn't explain and tried hard not to analyze. Kakashi would always be there with her. It was as simple as that.

The thought tugged a content smile from her lips. At least he had never truly forgotten her. Everyone else may fail in her life, but there was one solid rock on which she stood.

They walked in silence for the next couple of hours, even braving an extra hour of walking into the night. They had to make up for the delay the tortured ninja had caused. A quick burial and a last prayer for him was all the memorial service he would get. Walking into a village with a dead ninja would be no good for their cover. Most likely his family wouldn't want to see him this way regardless. They kept his head band, intending to return it to those that knew him. On the inside, stitched in white was a simple message: 'Keep Warm Ibachi. Love, Selena.' It was against protocol to put anything on the headbands, but under the circumstances, Kakashi didn't think that Selena would get into any trouble. Sakura had willingly taken on the task of informing the poor woman of her loss. Gratitude was an understatement to the rush of appreciation that the white haired ninja felt when she took the burden off his shoulders.

Once they began to set up camp, Kakashi found himself running a finger over the white threading. How could it feel to have someone at home that would lovingly remind him to stay warm? And how would that person feel when only a headband was brought back because the body was too fragile and too gruesome to be hauled back home? The thoughts made his eyes narrow, anger boiling in his veins. The world was too cruel sometimes. What if somewhere back in the village there was another little Sakura, wondering what it would feel like if she had a dad to love her? What if there was another mother, scared to death her son or daughter would not be strong enough, would not be able? Why did the sick have to live long? And why did brilliant people like Sakura suffer for it? Stealing a glance at the girl who had long ago leaned her head against a tree to sleep, he let his mind wander over these questions. Nightmares twitched and shook her hands and held her in fits of fear. It was sudden when his breath hitched at her green eyes flying open. Apparently his staring had managed to stir her from her fitful sleep.

"Are you ok, Kakashi?" Her voice was groggy and rough. He ignored his minds venturing into the knowledge that she probably sounded that way in the mornings. It ran across his body anyway, making him shiver. "Are you cold?" Sharpened observation skills had caught his reaction and mistook it for something innocent.

"No Sakura, I'm fine." He averted his eyes and tried to shut off his ears.

"Thank you. You're really a great friend. I love you, Kakashi." She had said it breathlessly as she fell back asleep but it still made his heart freeze in his chest. He knew she meant it only as friends, in reference to his helping hand earlier. A mixture of dread and hope filled his heart before he crushed it back into the depths of unacknowledged wishes. But the question skipped across his mind again: 'How could it feel to have someone at home that would lovingly remind you to stay warm?' What if that person could be as sweet and innocent and jaded as Sakura?

Running a hand through his spiky hair, Kakashi just let out a ragged breath and leaned back. "I know, Sakura." Her sleep seemed much easier now. She lay still and deeply breathing on her side, a light snore breaking the silence on occasion.

He had to admit that the sudden feelings he was having towards her were not so sudden as much as they were suddenly so strong. He had noticed a shift in the way he communicated with her, in the way he intentionally sought her out, in how he would let his hand linger when he patted her on the head. He tried to figure out what had caused this sudden jump in the previously subtle attraction he had desperately tried to hide. He remembered her anger towards him: the shifty look in her cold eyes, the frosty shoulder in the mission's room, and the unexplained bouts of temper tantrum. He remembered wishing he could make that dark look disappear from her face forever because even though it undoubtedly made him a hypocrite, he couldn't stand seeing the dead look reflected back at him. It had always been the Uchiha that he had assumed would take after him in the end. Why had he never realized that it was Sakura that had been left behind to take the place of sole member of Team 7 left in Konoha? How had he never realized that Sakura had become so much like him?

Still, there was something that seemed even more off about it now. In the last month or so she had seemed more distant. He guessed it could be this thing with her father… But the distance was different. More like something had happened instead of something had been discovered. Not so much fear as anxiety. Not so much dread as regret. And he could see the little lines of worry on her face. Old wounds newly founded always had a different pain than a new pain recently created. There was a story beneath this of her father's. Maybe, if he looked far enough back, he would find that her discovery of her father had been due to whatever this hidden thing was. He was, after all, the master of underneath the underneath. Who else could have observed her in those moments and known with all clarity that there were more than those things on the surface that plagued her? No one. No one knew her well enough to dig that far in. Not since Naruto and Sasuke left. And at least one of those had never cared that much in the first place.

That last thought sent him off on his own little tirade. There had been rumors of him coming back in town. There had been whispers in the bar when everyone thought he could not hear that Sasuke had returned and not even told his teacher. He didn't recall seeing his proclaimed prodigy in years, honestly. He didn't know the exact date, but he remembered the way it had happened, and he knew that he hadn't seen Sasuke since the night that he left them all with a smirk and a pop into the dark. Again. Sakura had handled the situation well. Not a tear shed, not a moment wasted, she had moved on. If the occasion came where she stared at the gate a little longer than usual, no one paid it any mind. Everyone had come to realize that though she missed her distant team mate, she was no longer in love with him. The small girl that had idolized the black haired avenger had lost all romanticized ideas of the man. She'd turned instead into the girl with the coldest realistic view of the fool who had left her in the worst way.

Now that he thought about it, those quick glances to the gates had become angrier as of late. And more frequent. He thought maybe it had been the rumors, that she was angry that he would come back and not say anything to his old team mate. Looking back on it, that assumption didn't make much sense considering Sakura had long stopped expecting courtesy from Sasuke.

Maybe there was merit to this story of the Uchiha coming back. Maybe he had left again, giving Sakura false hope that he had returned home for good. As the wheels began turning in his head, Kakashi started making connections. It was around the time that the rumors began that Sakura had started being so troubled. The glares and the random moments of deadness upon her features had all began around those times as well. Her behavior would never be so drastically changed by a simple rumor… Was there truth to this claim then? And why would she hide his reappearance from him if Sasuke had shown up? Why this renewed anger when before there had been nothing but grim acceptance? Where had Sasuke hidden if he had come home once more? Why would he-

"Kakashi, your shift is up. Go to sleep." The hand had tugged his shirt, dragging him away from his thoughts. A worried smile timidly spread its way across her lips. "Are you sure you're ok? Because if your cold, I could lay with you. I know how to stay awake." She had rested her hand on his shoulder. It was not an unusual offer. On nights of particularly cold weather team mates, male or female, often lay together to keep warm. The biggest mistake a ninja could make was pride, especially when it came to staying warm in the cold Konoha nights.

Slowly, he looked at that hand on his shoulder. Following the line of her arm, he slowly crept his way back to her face. Fear fell far beyond the hint of worry in her smile. His odd behavior was scaring her, and as her only fortress of safety, her doubt could not be more troubling to her at the moment. The medic nin in her was trying to find an easy and fixable solution to the problem. Something that she could fix by thinking up a remedy that she knew she could offer and that she saw no reason for him to decline whatsoever.

The offer was tempting, but that was exactly what made Kakashi say what he said next.

"I'd really rather not Sakura. I'm a pervert, remember?" His eye crinkled playfully and she batted him on the shoulder. "Besides, I'm not really cold at all." With that, he curled over and laid his head on a large gnarled root. "Let me know when you get tired."

Many people assume that Kakashi would have a hard time falling asleep. Most assume that he would fall into a light slumber filled with nightmares and would violently jerk awake at any moment at any sound. They all just knew that his life of war and blood and gore stole from him the moments of blissful sleep that innocents like them enjoyed. All of those people would be wrong. Sakura had come to figure out that the only time he looked truly peaceful was when he conked out during the night. Despite all the gruesome things that Kakashi had witnessed in his lifetime and all the things that haunted him, the greatest shinobi in Konoha fell asleep hard and fast and slept just like a baby. In just seconds his eye had relaxed, his hands fell loosely to the ground, and a light rumble of a snore tattled at his deep sleep. Knowing that they would be unlikely to be disturbed until morning, Sakura allowed herself the pleasure of watching him slumber. The way his heavy eyelids fluttered as he dreamed unknown dreams. The way the muscles in his arms relaxed and his whole body seemed to let out a breath of relief. It was as though all the stress of every day left him at once. She seriously doubted that he would still be sane if he was unable to sleep this way.

Many times she had been presented with this opportunity to stare at her teacher and know all of him. She could have removed his mask and traced her fingers over every single surface. She had always imagined a deep, rugged scar on his cheek, or a mole the size of Konaha on his chin, or even better: a perfect face sculpted by God. Yet, as much as her hands itched to reach across that tiny space between them and pull that dark mask down she had never indulged. It felt too much like a most horrible type of cheating. It always felt like she had a present, wrapped and ready, under the Christmas tree. She knew she could always go over there and unwrap it and look at it. She also knew that if she was patient enough, she would see the present. And with patience, she wouldn't have to hide that she had seen it. Why suffer for today what one can have with no consequence tomorrow?

As harmless as Kakashi was when he slept, he was still a powerful ninja with immense power. She would not want him to ever know she had peeked underneath his mysteries while he couldn't defend himself. He had many, many interesting ways to get revenge. Sakura had only been the victim a handful of times, but Naruto was not so lucky. There had been many instances as a medic where Sakura had stitched, cleaned, wrapped, and once even removed the consequences of Kakashi's revenge on her blond haired friend. It was always with a laugh and a friendly warning that Sakura told him to act like a real ninja and not get caught next time. Somehow, he never did seem to figure out how to sneak past their most favorite Sharingan holder. And though Sakura had never had much luck at it neither, she had long ago learned to control her childish curiosities.

That doesn't mean that when the mask snagged on the rough edges of the tree stump and pulled ever so slightly down that Sakura refrained herself from agonizing over every detail of newly exposed flesh. She could see the hints of a scar on either cheek. Ending just under where the edge of his mask had been, she could see what looked like a stapled scar. It looked like someone had tried to sloppily staple the two halves of the scar back together, making it look almost like patchwork. Whoever his medic had been had truly sucked at their job. Any level of medic could have stitched it up better than this. The only way to mess up so badly was to either do it on purpose or not be a medic at all. She had heard of people trying to hastily pull together a bad wound on the battlefield, but it seemed unlikely that they would have had the tools to do a job like this anywhere besides the hospital.

Considering Kakashi's history of pissing off people in high and dangerous places, she was betting on a former enemy trying to carve through his face. Besides, even a basic skills ninja can stitch up any wound better than that. She knew for a fact that all ninja were trained in basic first aid in case their life or a team mates life depended on it after one of several gruesome battles all ninja would endure in a lifetime.

It was an odd way to attempt torture, if that's what it was. Most torturers preferred to bypass the cosmetic and trivial wounds when dealing with ninja. It is much preferred to go for the kunai throwing hand or the legs, or even index finger, which is one of the most important in seal forming. Sakura simply couldn't imagine what amateur psycho had done this to Kakashi, or why he hadn't simply destroyed the attacker like she was sure he could've. Even a very young Kakashi could take on pretty much anyone. Who had been strong enough to overpower him and do this kind of irreplaceable damage?

Without thinking her hand reached to move the mask further down in an attempt to study the haphazardly healed wound. It was white and faded, stretched to show it was years old. It crept jaggedly across his face to turn upwards at his cheekbones. In no apparent order were what looked like stitches crisscrossing the thin line. Someone had tried to sew him up like a doll. It was as though a mother on crack had decided to give her child a play thing. Soft fingertips traced the trail of the white against his pale flesh. Though the continuous line broke off on either corner of his mouth, Sakura was appalled to find that the stitches continued onto each soft, round lip. So they had sliced through his lip and healed it this way. This was all done on purpose, with the intentions of deforming Kakashi's face. She wondered how long ago this had been. Was this the purpose behind the mask? Could Kakashi be so concerned with this scar?

Curiosity pulled her palm to run over his entire face. She closed her eyes to drink in the feel of him through her palm. He was rough and smooth and soft all at the same time. She knew when her hand had neared his eyes that she was addicted to this mystery that was his face. Even without the mask, he was still a mystery. There was no end to the possibilities for his new face and all the little bumps and nicks that she could feel beneath her skin. His eyelashes brushed against her fingers, an unnoticed sign that he was waking up. She continued to feel all the differences in his flesh, her eyes still closed. She gently pushed the headband over his forehead. His white hair fell back after the cloth and metal set it free. Her fingertips massaged his forehead, slowly inching their way into his hair. This was something she had never indulged in, this different and vulnerable side of her teacher.

It was soft and choppy. She had always wondered if it felt like old man hair. It didn't look like it, but she never could know. It isn't often you find someone with white hair. She was surprised at how long it was. It never looked all that long. But her fingers could slide through and it seemed to take forever to get to the end of those glossy strands. She had repeated the action a couple of times before a rumble alerted her to her partner's awareness. Her hand jerked away and her eyes were immediately cast away from the mismatched pair. Deep red stained her cheeks, her lip tucked underneath her teeth in nervousness. She remembered again why she never had taken such opportunities. She didn't want to face Kakashi when he found out she knew. Images of various revenge plots trampled her brain and she subconsciously backed away from him. With her gaze on the

ground she missed the hurt look that the misunderstood man beneath her wore.

"So, did you enjoy your stolen moment?" The voice held no anger, but also no smile. It fell flatly on her ears. She knew instantly she would have preferred hot and violent rage to this unfeeling response.

"I didn't mean to, Kakashi. The tree snagged it and it fell down and I just was surprised to see it. I don't really know what happened after that. I didn't know anything about your face or anything and I just got caught up in the moment. I'm sorry." The words spilled out in a hurried breath. Risking a glance over to him, she found his eyes had locked on her.

They were not angry, nor happy, nor lifeless.

There was intenseness to his gaze that she couldn't place. It bounced around in her mind to try and find a home but in the end there was nowhere it was recognized. Before she had time to memorize it, his gaze fell and he let out a sigh. She recognized the wounded defeat that danced in that emission of breath. Only a kindred spirit would so easily understand in that exhale that he had long ago assumed that there would be no one that could look at him and see anything but pain and fear and evil.

It dawned on her that he had mistaken her step back as her rejecting her new discovery. In his self conscious mind frame he had not realized her fear of retribution. The cold tone in his voice was his way of carefully hiding his disappointment that even someone he considered a friend couldn't stand the sight of him. Guilt grabbed hold of her and she lifted her face to stare at him again. How could he ever think that something as inconsequential as a scar could make her think he was ugly or less than he was before? If anything, it increased her respect for her old friend.

"So, are you going to go tell Naruto and Sasuke about their horribly disfigured teacher when we get through?" His mask was already in place and the headband was being tied back over his sharingan. "You can finally tell Naruto he wins, just not in the way he imagined." His voice was still bland; his eyes still looked intense. He hoped against hope that she would argue with him. Say he wasn't disfigured and ugly, defend his face, tell him he was beautiful regardless. He wasn't one for insecurities, but he had hidden his face for years because of this. It would be nice to be reassured.

"I'm not telling anyone. I really didn't have the right to look." She couldn't keep looking at his eye. "Can you tell me what happened?" She tried to keep her voice soft and tried to hide the quiver of sorrow in her voice. The last thing she needed to do was make things worse by breaking down over the newest discovery of horror in his life.

"So you didn't have the right to look, but you think I should explain it anyways?" This time he let out a weary and defeated growl and let his head fall back against the tree root. He didn't seem angry or betrayed, just tired. "A ninja decided he would make me look like my namesake. The concept of a scarecrow child intrigued him. He was a rogue ninja who had gone a little wacko in his isolation. He had begun to kill off the younger children. He didn't expect me to be… well, me. When it turned out that I wouldn't scream or back down, he grew tired of playing and just began trying to dice me up. Obviously I got away in the end and left the ninja in bad enough shape that he couldn't get away before I got to the other authorities. I was forced into the hospital and they healed every other wound the man had given me. This one, however, they couldn't heal. It just would burn whenever chakra touched it. They did the best they could, but they never did figure out why it was so difficult for that one scar. No worries, he got the full wrath of the Hatake name brought down upon him." He had nonchalantly lifted his hand to trace the path of the crooked straw man's smile. Sakura caught it before it could complete the trail.

"It's more beautiful on you than it would be on anyone else Kakashi." Her hand stayed in his for just a second, but the intense look returned. He pulled his hand away and shifted his unusual stare to a rock.

"Considering we're up, what should we do?" The sun was peaking over the horizon just enough to illuminate the trees and he noticed a smile pull up at her lips. Nothing was more welcome than the return to familiar territory. Work.

"Tsunade said we should spend some time in the surrounding villages on the way and find out about the killings. Discreetly, of course." Her hands were already fumbling in her bag for civilian clothes. "Can't do that dressed as ninja. Don't know how we're going to do that with our hair either, but it'll work out…" She had pulled out a small cap and began pulling her hair back, concealing as much hair as possible. Her pink ponytail would still give her away, but as she said… It'd work out.

"I think we can manage. We always have before." He shrugged it off and began pulling his less obvious garments out of the small pack at his side. They'd have to find a way to explain having packs with them when they were supposed to be lost civilians from a nearby town. Most people don't get lost with supplies. Most people also don't have bubblegum hair or mismatched eyes. How any of the people around here didn't instantly recognize the pair of them always surprised him. Power of suggestion is a wonderful tool.

Without further conversation they headed out in the direction of the closest village. It wasn't big but that was where they hoped to get the most information. News travels fast in a small town. People eyed them warily and scuttled away; generally, they acted afraid. Something or someone had them skittish. And while the recent murders were a likely candidate, there was something practiced about the sneaky way they turned their back ever so slightly, the way they knew how long to stare to scare but not to confront, the way their hands seemed to scurry quickly across their tools and then land unceremoniously in their pocket. These people had a practiced lie. Something lay beneath the surface. Even Sakura noticed. Her teeth were set in a wide smile and her eyes were bright, but her back had tensed just the slightest upon entering. She knew. When her hand found its way around his he didn't object but simply played along. It was one of their easiest assumed personas. It was practiced and easy and comfortable.

Doting couple, in love, was hiking. Got lost, found the town. Needs directions. Also, they found this curious little headband. Wonder what it could mean?

Answers would be unreliable but the body language would give everything away. Two ninja did not get to this status by simply asking and then leaving. Every little twitch of muscle or change in posture would be analyzed and understood and they would do it all without batting a lash. The implications of such secretive actions were immeasurable. Could it be that these citizens knew? Could the culprit be protected? Has he revealed himself or are they simply threatened? Could the entire town know something of this disaster? Or was the problem something else entirely? Would Sakura and Kakashi face the demons of a small town? They both knew it was a possibility and both were prepared to pull themselves out of whatever situation that may try to drag them in. They had a mission and could not be distracted. If it was bad enough they could make mental note of it and send word to Tsunade to send help to the battered village.

Sakura stopped by a fruit stand and pointed at an apple. From the corner of his eye, Kakashi saw a trembling old woman. She seemed the least likely to hide anything; her body language was not subtle. Her eyes were darting back and forth from Kakashi's eyes to the headband in his hand. She may also have made a connection that could cause some problems for the two of them. There was a lot of interest and fear connected to the sharingan for her, and Kakashi knew there was only one other person besides him that held the sharingan. And he was positive that that person was not who they were looking for.

"Taki, honey, I want an apple. I've been dying to get something in my stomach since we got lost." The woman's face visibly relaxed when Sakura smiled at her. He knew that his pink haired friend was the very best at lying with her smiles. It was quite possibly their greatest weapon at this point.

"Are you sure?" At her nod he turned back to the old lady and gave a rueful look. "Women… always are wanting men to part ways with their money." His eyes crinkled in a smile. He couldn't miss her shudder however, as she looked at his eye. Her hand moved imploringly up but he turned his face just before she could see that he noticed.

"Well, if you'd prefer I starve to death…" She faked a pout up at him and he felt his cheeks go red. She was adorable that way, even if it was pretend. "I guess I don't need an apple."

"Get back here you silly brat." He ruffled her hair and pulled out his money. "So, ma'am, how has your day been?" His hand reached for a small pink lady. If he was going to spend his money, it would at least be on a fruit worth buying.

"Rather uneventful I'm afraid. You two have been the first costumers to come my way this morning. What brings you here? I heard the lady say she was lost." The beginning of her statement had her fingers twitching. Something had happened. He quirked an eyebrow at her but she just let it pass. A commoner would notice and question but not push.

"Well, yes. We got a bit distracted on the trail and wandered off quite a ways. Our tracking skills aren't exactly up to par so we just tried to find a village. We just so happened to stumble up here. We didn't sleep too good last night and hoped we might find someone to be kind enough to give us a little rest." Sakura took the cue to smile and nod hopefully at the wrinkled woman. "Do you know anyone that may be so kind?"

"Well, there is a man down the road that likes to help out strangers. Since we're on the outskirts of the forest we used to get stragglers all the time. May I ask what you have in your hand before you leave?" Her eyes fell on the shining metal that peeked from his fingers. The village symbol was barely hidden.

"We found it out in the woods. It's actually what distracted us. We found it on the ground and were curious as to who's it could be. We figured somebody here could tell us. There's a note on the back. I think someone's going to miss it." Sakura had spoken up this time, giving the woman a piercing look for only a second before turning back to look at Kakashi dotingly. "I know if my honey lost something of his, I'd want someone to return it. And I'd imagine the village would want to find one of their own as soon as possible."

The question pulsed through his mind again and Kakashi couldn't stop it: What would it feel like to have someone at home lovingly remind him to stay warm?

"She's a better liar than you, Kakashi." Was all that wrinkled, crooked smirk said.


	3. Infected

Kakashi nearly dropped the apple in his hands at the old lady's remark. "What was that ma'am?" He asked it as politely as he could and tried to keep the surprise from his voice. Could he have revealed them so soon? No one had ever caught on to his lie so quickly. How had an old woman from an obscure village have possibly figured him out so easily? Everything had been done as before, all the same precautions and measures. All she or anyone else should be able to see is a regular looking and dark hair couple walking through town. There was no logical way that an innocent old woman would know who he was. Yet the woman only gave him a concerned look and a questioning glance.

"I didn't say anything, young man." There was something careful to the concern. "Are you feeling ok?" She grabbed the pitcher beside her and began to pour him a drink. "Here, have some water. You may be dehydrated." She handed him the glass with a hand that was only as wobbly as any old woman's and offered him a warm smile that was missing only a few teeth. She seemed normal enough.

Kakashi knew he wasn't dehydrated. A ninja was always trained to know the signs of his body. But a passerby given a glass of water would think nothing of it and would take the drink. He was faced with a dilemma. If he had heard what he thought he heard, he was found out and this would be a very huge mistake. One should never take anything, especially a drink, from the enemy or anyone else not trusted. But if he wasn't found out and he refused the drink, it would look suspicious. The village was already on edge as it was and for someone to go by acting strange would blow a huge hole in their discreet visit. The drink seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, and the longer Kakashi stood there, the more awkward it became. He gave a worried glance to Sakura and was surprised to see her looking worriedly back. She must not have heard what he heard. Why would he hear something that had not been said? He had even seen the lady's mouth move!

Relief flooded his mind when Sakura looked back at the old woman with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, he's had a family member that just recently died. They'd drank some bad river water and got really sick from it. He hasn't gotten over the paranoia that something he drinks is going to kill him. They were very inexperienced hikers. They didn't know to boil the water first. I'm really sorry." She patted the old woman's hand and handed her back her water. Grabbing hold of his hand again, she rambled on with the lady. Kakashi found he couldn't concentrate on the conversation. They were saying something about an old man that lived down at the end of the road but Kakashi understood no more than that.

Why had he heard the old woman, who was obviously no more suspicious of him than she should've been, declare that he was a worse liar than Sakura? Was it just paranoia? Or had she really said it and was only covering now? But why would she reveal that she knew and then hide it? Why hadn't Sakura heard it? Kakashi tried to reel in his thoughts. It didn't matter. All that mattered now was that he stay infinitely more focused than before. In the chance that they had been found out, he had to be prepared for any surprise attacks. The villagers were watching him and Sakura more obviously now. Though whether that was due to him being Kakashi or him acting so strange earlier with the drink was questionable. Sakura had just finished talking with the old woman and had started to head off. He turned to wave at her in his passing and to see once more that she was acting normally. What he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. The woman's face had twisted into something sinister as she waved at him. A thin grin and a forked tongue stretched the woman's wrinkled face wide and distorted the otherwise normal features. Tugging on Sakura's hand he got her to stop trying to pull him along long enough to look at the old woman. The wicked look disappeared just as Sakura snapped her head at the woman and Sakura gave him a worried look. He didn't miss the way her hand strayed smoothly to his cheek in what would appear to be a loving gesture to everyone else. He knew it was her checking to see if he was feverish or clammy. When he was neither he saw her furrow her brow.

"Are you sure you're ok, Kakashi? Did you not get enough sleep or something?" She seemed exasperated at his odd behavior and Kakashi just shook his head.

"I don't know. Maybe." He ran a nervous and through his hair and realized that Sakura still held his hand hostage. Should he tell her about this oddness? Or was it just a passing moment due to the stress he'd been under? Would she feel unsafe with him if he told her?

She was already paranoid as it was about this Genjutsu Killer and the possible connections it had to her father and her family. She'd more than likely overreact to his unfortunate slips and try to force him to go home. She'd go with some less experienced ninja to complete this mission, someone she trusted less, someone that knew her less, and she would get hurt and he would be to blame. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't let her lose faith in someone that had just sworn he'd help her. Most likely he wouldn't have to worry about it anyways. Once he'd had a meal and some sleep and possibly even a drink he'd have nothing to worry about. It wasn't the first time a ninja under stressful circumstances had seen or heard something unfortunate that had simply been a misunderstanding. The mind always seemed to conjure up the worst case scenarios at the most inconvenient of times.

He tried to ignore the pull in his gut that told him he was making the wrong decision as he and Sakura walked up towards a house at the end of a small neighborhood. It appeared larger than the others. The stacked windows showed it had two stories and probably several rooms. It most closely resembled an old style inn that had been converted into a house. There was no sign out front and when they knocked on the door there was no desk inside with key hangers behind it. Just a regular entrance way with a very large living room. It looked all together nice and the man that had introduced himself as Hayato looked grumpy, but not at all unkind. Yet when Kakashi actually entered the house he felt a chill run down his spine as cold and icy as the coldest of Konoha snowstorms.

Something wasn't right. The longer they spent in the man's presence the more the feeling grew and Kakashi had to fight the urge to squirm. Something was very, very wrong. He glanced at Sakura to see if she showed any signs of being uncomfortable and was relieved to see that she had stiffened in recognition of the danger. So he wasn't alone this time.

"Sir, what did you say your name was?" She smiled sweetly at him and the poor man stuttered when he repeated his name. "Well Mr. Hayato, thank you very much for letting us stay here. How much do we owe you? Taki here will pay you whatever you name." She turned and smiled adoringly up at him and he felt his own heart skip. The girl could be deadly at times. To him, others, and his wallet.

"Well, its really no trouble. We're good people around here. Real kind. Just promise you won't go poking your nose into my valuables and I think we'll be doing just fine." He smiled sheepishly at her and Kakashi wondered where the threat was coming from. Not this man, surely. He had seen many dangerous men act, and some of them had even been old and generous like this one. But he had never seen a dangerous man melt under Sakura's subtle appeals. Most men ninja were trained specifically to resist such defense robbing techniques, and if the dangerous men were not ninja then they at least had some form of protection. This guy here had no training whatsoever. He led Sakura and Kakashi to their room with his back to them the entire time, not even glancing back to see if they had followed. And when he let them in he gave them a quick tour and just left. There was no way this man had any ninja training or anything to hide whatsoever. Still Kakashi's back felt like it had been drenched in ice water, and his mind still buzzed that there was danger lurking some where around.

"Sakura, do you feel it too?" He whispered. They had began unpacking their bags, which were mostly full of civilian clothes. No one can go on an undercover mission in full shinobi gear.

"Yeah. Its not the old man though. Do you think we've got a tagalong?' Her response was just as quiet as his. If they did have a follower, they had remained well hidden and could be listening to them talk right now. Anything they said had to be carefully worded and concealed. Their front was easily broken and with things already going haywire, Kakashi wasn't entirely certain of their staying here for the night. "Do you think we should still stay?" As if she had read his mind she put a voice to his concerns.

"I'm not sure. If we do leave and the town discovers us gone then we have the problem of them thinking something's up. But if we stay and get caught, they'll know for sure something is."

"Kakashi, I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to go on tonight. You went a little… odd back there with the woman. Are you sure you're doing ok?" Like a mother she placed her hand on his forehead and he could help but lean into her palm. He had to admit that her hand was cool and if he hadn't stopped himself just in time he may have held it right where it was. "You feel a little warm. If we left, we'd just have to stop right outside the village. I don't think it'd be too wise to carry on too far if you're catching something or if you really need rest." The concern that put a pout on her face made him feel disgusted with himself. Here they were on an important mission and he was making her afraid that they'd be jeopardized due to a sickness he didn't even have.

"Sakura, don't forget who I am. I'm trained in these things. I'm not sick. I probably just need some food and something to drink. You forget that we didn't eat anything last night and before that I was ran out of my usual watering hole." He smiled jokingly at her and patted her head.

"Ok, _sensei_, but I still think we should stay. It'll do no good to go out and just end up camping on the edge of the town." He winced at the emphasis she placed on his honorific title. She knew he hated being called that. _And you know she hates being patted on the head…_ With a click of his tongue he gave in. If he had to admit it, he knew he was too tired to go much farther, and he could see the signs of exhaustion in Sakura's movements. She hadn't gotten much more sleep than him last night. Her nightmare had kept her from getting any real rest.

"Fine. But if we get attacked by an army of ninja and we both die, I'm definitely killing you." She laughed at the corny joke and he listened intently to the twinkling sound of her each individual laugh.

"If we get attacked by a full army of ninja from this little town, then I only hope they don't hold our infiltration against Konoha." She smiled at him and put her things away. After unpacking the last of their necessary things, they headed out to see about food. Most hosts won't deny their guests food so they weren't worried about imposing. Sakura had already asked about food accommodations and the man had happily obliged to feed them for however long they planned to stay. He said his kitchen had several things he would never eat and they could have their pick. The two starving travelers were happy enough to take him up on his offer. His little kitchen had the basic makings of a decent sized meal that was simple enough to cook and eat in enough time that should someone be awaiting them they wouldn't be unguarded. Within the next thirty minutes the two had eaten their fill and were headed back to their room.

"So, Sakura, how are you feeling so far about this mission?" Kakashi noticed that she looked noticeably less pale. Their edgy feeling had disappeared and they had settled into a lazy mood. "Are you still so nervous?"

"Well, I'm not exactly over it but I feel a little better. At least I'm with someone I trust. Imagine if I would have been sent with Kiba or that Choji guy. I'd probably be a wreck right now." She smiled at him. "Kakashi, you're really one of my favorite team mates. I guess you being my teacher and all gives me more confidence that you know what you're doing."

His heart warmed and he had to turn his head to hide his blush. Despite popular belief, he didn't have lovers often, he wasn't a ladies man, and he rarely ever got compliments. Of course, Sakura had turned away before she had the chance to see his red face. He could hear her humming and working tirelessly at something. Her words did more than redden his cheeks. His decision to stay with her may not have been such a mistake as he had thought. Had she not just said that she did not have as much confidence in her other options? And she seemed even more confident of him as her teacher. There had been the undeniable fear that his failure to do any real good for her had destroyed her faith in his abilities entirely.

In just a flash his light mood was gone. The room was in shambles and Sakura's sweet humming had been silenced. She sat dazed on the chair in front of him and blood covered the walls. Everything seemed to be screaming 'Massacre!' at him and he felt his breath leave him. In the next instant the vision was gone and he was left gasping for air. His teammate was dead. She was dead in front of him and her blood had splattered the walls and he'd done nothing. It wasn't true but that did not bring his breath back. He reached for Sakura and weakly grabbed her hand. Her panicked green eyes locked onto his and he could tell she was saying something to him. His ears seemed to fail him. His eyes were dimming and he was on the verge of falling. He hadn't had a panic attack since he was young. But there had been so much blood and Sakura had been dead. He could feel everything in him screaming against it. Just as his world was going dark he felt a cool hand touch his face and he could hear the words of comfort Sakura was whispering at him. Under each syllable was barely contained hysteria. For just a second his vision turned black. Then he was back and staring up into a vast sea of the most beautiful green and pink he'd ever seen. And he remembered a strange question. It fluttered through his mind, playing through his conscience, hiding while his thoughts sought.

His head was in Sakura's lap and she was leaned over him, her face worried and her hands glowing with chakra use. He knew then. He'd been here before, staring up at this little girls face. And she had asked him why daddies had to die. And then, after such a serious question, she asked him if he could take her to the dance. And he had told her no. And then he'd giggled and told her she was beautiful. The little girl had been named Sakura and she had gave him that pretty red scarf. Everything fit into place. The current Sakura had looked up and seemed to be sighing in relief. And he noticed…

"Hey, Sakura?" She looked down at him, a deep scowl marring her face. "Just for the record, there is not a father in existence who would not have been glad to have a daughter as beautiful as you." And he smiled. Like he had so long ago.

Of course, Sakura didn't find this at all funny. She didn't remember that day. She had been only five or six. And while she was worried about her ex-teacher and favorite team mate, that didn't stop her from whopping him a good one on the head. "I swear to God sensei, if you've been drinking I will seriously kick your ass. I mean it." He just laughed harder and she turned red. At the glare she gave him, he abruptly stopped his hysterical behavior. At least now she wasn't as worried about his black out.

"Sakura, I haven't been drinking. Just got lightheaded is all. I think we should probably get some sleep. If I remember correctly, last night my sleep was interrupted by an intruder on my face." He winked at her and she turned red again. Though this time it had nothing to do with her anger. "If you can keep your hands off long enough, Sakura, I'd like to get some shut eye now. I obviously need it." He stretched himself onto the bed and crawled underneath the covers. He knew Sakura was watching him. She always did. The girl had this odd obsession with his sleeping habits. If she was anyone else, he'd probably be extremely paranoid that she waited for him to sleep with almost unconcealed impatience.

"You snore. Did you know that?" Her question was random, and he just looked at her.

"One normally has to be asleep for that to happen Sakura. So no, I didn't know that."

"Just letting you know. You snore. Loudly. Like it sounds like elephants are trumpeting around the camp." Her sly look let him in on her game. "So be careful. You'll alert all the ninja armies around that you're staying here." She winked at him and he just chuckled again as he fell asleep.

This left Sakura once again watching him sleep. Since she had caught a look of that odd scar on his face she had been intrigued. Could the advances in chakra healing maybe heal it for him? What kept it from healing in the first place? Did Kakashi want it gone? Was he horribly embarrassed by it? Was that the reason he always hid his face specifically or was there some other reason? The longer Sakura thought about it the more she wanted to see his face again, to marvel at the scar that the child stealer had left. Her hands were nearly twitching with the urge to pull down his mask. She had already seen it once. It shouldn't matter if she saw it again. And besides, she just wanted to see if maybe she could heal it. That's all. It had nothing to do with anything else. And somehow that didn't even sound convincing even to her. It had only taken minutes- though they felt like hours- for her to convince herself to pull his mask down. Just for one more peek. She ignored the voice in her head that addicts used the same logic.

And again she was entranced. That scar ran into high cheekbones and through a lip that looked positively pouted. She had never imagined Kakashi as having pouting lips. It suited him. His eyes still looked lazy when closed, like they could make even sleeping lazier than it already was. His nose wasn't perfectly straight, but not crooked like a witch. It had just enough edge to give him character. Somehow seeing his face completely bare brought different things to her attention. Like the fact that he had rather full lashes that were black as coal when they rested against his very pale cheeks. He had a tan line from his mask, but not as much as she'd expected. The scar, though saddening, didn't really mess up his looks. It reminded her of a demented demon, with his crooked smile and charismatically handsome face. As though he were still wearing a mask of some sort. Although this one was one that went deeper than the black fabric one. This one traveled down to the depths of his soul and covered it in shadows so all the world could never see. And what a beautiful man it hid.

Sakura had seen him in moments of vulnerability that others had never witnessed. She had seen him at the stone when Naruto had almost died and he had reacted by sitting and praying for over twelve hours: the exact time it took for Naruto to get out of intensive care. She had seen him fight Sasuke before he walked out of their lives for what she thought would be the last time and had witnessed the personal struggle he had with kicking the fight out of his personal prodigy. On the anniversary of Obito's death he had invited her to dinner that night, saying that he was tired of spending such a sad day alone and she was really the only real friend he'd had left. That night she had learned so much as he told her so many stories of his and Obito's adventures and the sacrifices they had both made before his unfortunate end. She had been there with him when Genma didn't come home one day and she had waited up on nights that he was gone on a mission to see if he would come hobbling through her doorway because even on his worst nights she couldn't convince him to go to the hospital. She had nursed his body back to health and in those nights she had been closer to him than she had any other human being. There was something to say when you saved someone's life on a monthly basis.

She had never felt closer to him than when she looked at his face. Even after saving his life, she had never been privy to that particular aspect of being his dear friend. Somehow, even when all his clothes were torn and battered and barely hanging on, his mask was perfectly in place, perfectly whole. And whenever she had tried to remove it for any medical reason he would grab her hand and shake his head frantically. She'd always shake her head back at him and continue on her work, working around the mask. He normally ended up as good as new, though she knew a couple of times the mask had been a real hindrance and he may have ended up with a scar or two that were unnecessary. Maybe more than a couple of times. It had always been her deep respect for him that had forced her hands away from the mask long after he had passed out from pain and blood loss.

But now, as she stared at his skin, the jagged smile and the soft lips, she knew she had a problem. The mask had always kept Kakashi at a good distance from her, mentally. He was human, but just human enough. He never got to the point that he was just Kakashi, and not Kakashi sensei or Kakashi her team leader, or Kakashi the ANBU leader, or Kakashi that was forever too far away for her to touch. With it gone and his mystery changed, he was just Kakashi. Just the beautiful, broken man she saw on a regular basis that she would trust with her life and she saved on a fixed schedule and she didn't know what she would do without him. He made her smile on the days when the rain could destroy her mood and he made her break down when the world had hardened her to a shell. He could make her heart beat faster when all he did was give her a look that she couldn't explain. He could make her angry when all she wanted to do was give up and he made her fight harder. He had never been her teacher, he had never been her friend. But he had always been something more. And Sakura was scared. Who was this stranger she had only just began to know and why couldn't she look away from his broken face? And how long had she been sinking? Sakura sighed and closed her eyes, trying to carefully pull the mask back up. That accursed black fabric was the bane of her existence. While she'd tried to get it off it had been impossible and now that she'd finally seen it removed, she wished she never had. She'd never get the look of it out of her head.

Just as she'd placed it perfectly snug against his face and pulled her fingers away, he let out a whimper. Afraid that she'd awoken him, she jumped away from the bed and towards the desk, pretending to take watch from over there. When he didn't sit up or even open his eyes she smiled faintly and prepared to get back to her turn. The sound of a groan interrupted her. Surprised, she looked at his sleeping form. He was tossing and turning. His eyes fluttered in dreams and his heart was pounding loud enough that her medic ears could hear it just barely muffled under the blankets. He groaned again, louder this time. Sweat poured from his face and Sakura finally recognized what was going on. Hatake Kakashi, who always slept peacefully and who always passed out without a single movement or sound other than his light snoring, was having a very graphic nightmare. And he wasn't waking from it on his own. For a moment she just stood, stuck between waking him up and wondering if it would pass. In her hesitation apparently the nightmare climaxed. He screamed and jerked and cursed. Seeing that he still wasn't waking, Sakura went and held him down, pumping a numbing chakra into his temple, trying to calm the waves of fear that were bombarding his body and causing him to have such severe reactions. With emotions this strong, he should have awoken on his own. But it was only after she'd already calmed him enough to where he was breathing normally and his heartbeat wasn't echoing off the walls that he'd opened wide eyes and sat up.

Frantic arms wrapped around her and she was surprised to find herself being smothered in a hug from the Great Copy-Nin. His breathing had gone heavy again, though not nearly as bad as before and he was mumbling something into her shoulder. His grip on her tightened for a second more before he let go of her and leaned back. His eyes were still wide as he just stared at her. It took her a moment to realize that he was still murmuring under his breath. She could barely make out the words 'still alive…' before she was swallowed in another hug. He was dreaming about her? Why would he dream about her dying?

"Kakashi, calm down. It was a bad dream. Sh…" Her arms were pinned to her side by his hold and she didn't know what to do. He had never done this before. Not with her. Not even after long nights of tough and gory battles. He'd always slept through the night with no problems. There was no explanation for this sudden turn of sleeping habits. Nothing over the past few days had been any worse than what they'd already witnessed. There had even been times where he had to carry her wounded self all the way to the hospital.

"Sakura it was so real. And you were dead. You were dead, Sakura. Blood was all over the walls and you were looking at me and it was all my fault." He was rambling, fear still claiming his mind as its own. "Sakura don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me." His grip on her tightened and Sakura felt the pain of his grip in her sides.

"I'm not leaving you Kakashi. Its ok. I'm not leaving you. But you've got to loosen your grip ok. You're hurting me." At those words he removed his arms, resigning to just slump dejectedly over her. "Would you like to take watch Kakashi, to make sure I'm safe? You can protect me, and make sure I stay alive." She knew she was treating him like a child, but she didn't know what else to do. She had never seen him so stricken. It was as if she had actually died.

At first she feared he was going to be upset with her, mad at her for humoring him. But he just looked at her with hurting eyes and nodded. "I would like that very much, Sakura. I think I need to make sure my team is safe." He offered a weak smile and offered her his place on the bed. When she shook her head and laid down beside him he frowned.

"You're going to be right beside me to protect me, ok Kakashi? That way you can feel me safe right here." She smiled at him. Tsunade had taught her that the best way to keep a shattered shinobi from crawling into his shell was to give him a task that suited his problem and make him feel useful, but also keep him in close contact. It gave him a mental as well as a physical anchor. Kakashi was reacting by the book. He had clung to the idea of protecting her and he didn't argue at all as Sakura slipped into the bed beside him. Neither of them were in any state of undress, and often a kunoichi and ninja would have to sleep in the same bed together to pass off a front or to save money. It simply wasn't practical for a supposed couple to rent two separate rooms or for them to be caught sleeping entirely separate of each other. While it would be nice to never be forced into awkward situations, Sakura and any other kunoichi had learned to just get over it.

He held onto her and she didn't object. It wasn't long before she fell asleep. And Kakashi lay awake all night, keeping her safe from the demons that had plagued his dreams.

He knew that she would see past his routine "I'm fine." now. She had witnessed his breakdown and knew that she was at the center of it. How would he be able to help her if she couldn't even have faith in his sanity? Why was his mind so intent to drag him into these dark fears and this deep stain of guilt on his conscience? He had long ago learned to accept that Obito and Rin were lessons that he had only ever learned too late. They hadn't haunted him in years. What was happening to him?

- Author's note.

Yes, I did totally rewrite this chapter. I sorta kinda hated the other one. A lot. It was too jumpy with too many plots going on at once and it just didn't flow. I hate for my work to have no flow. SO here you go. Now I am extremely tired.

I've stayed up WAY too long writing this. (And doing various other things) So now, I'm going to bed.

Goodnight/morning all of you!


	4. Caught?

/*'_Wounds that heal and cracks that fix, tell me your own politik._'

The next morning Sakura woke up with Kakashi still beside her, as wide awake as when she'd left him. He had bags under his dazed eyes, but as soon as she moved, he let out a sigh. If she didn't know better, it was almost as though he hadn't expected her to wake up. He was really worrying her. He was showing all the signs of a ninja on the verge of collapse. Closing her eyes, she reached out again and filled her hands with chakra. There was something broken there, something she couldn't find to fix. And it hadn't been there before, she knew it. She had healed this man so many times that she knew every broken place, every disturbance and how to fix it. What was going on now? Had something happened and he'd decided not to tell her? Had he not come to her one night for a healing? What was wrong?

"Did you have good dreams Sakura?" For a moment, when he looked at her and smiled, it was almost as if she had imagined everything. He looked truly peaceful at that moment. She felt the small tug of her lip upwards. He was trying to disarm her suspicions.

"Yes, I did. We'd gotten home and all Konoha was waiting." His smile turned into a grin and she felt hers widen as well. "We had a party and Naruto was there, and Tsunade and Shizune. Tsunade had wine and even Ino was behaving." She'd started getting up when Kakashi's arm around her waist tightened. "What's wrong?" His expression had turned from his lazy happiness to something pained. Then she saw it pass away and he smiled at her again. This was a different smile though. It was flimsy and fake, a mask over his thumping heart.

"Nothing. I'm just not used to having bad dreams. I'm sorry about last night… I know it wasn't fair of me to do that to you out of no where." Such humility from the Hatake was unusual. He only spoke this way when he felt ashamed of something, when he'd done something truly bad.

"What are you really feeling guilty for Kakashi?" She'd said it as sharply as she could, hoping his memories of her fierce temper would wizen him to admitting whatever he'd done wrong.

"Nothing Sakura. Really, you do always think the worst of me don't you?" He winked at her and just like that he blew off everything. Even she couldn't find it in herself to bring it back up.

After their short interaction, he ambled to the drawers, taking out all his things. It was early and most likely Hayato hadn't even awoken. They'd leave a note thanking him for his hospitalities and by the time he'd gotten to reading it they'd be long gone, and hopefully away from any potential threats. As a precaution, and because of the goose bumps the night before, they'd do a quick run through of the house. Any suspicious looking scrolls would be copied and taken back to the Hokage for inspection. Anything more incriminating than a scroll would be dealt with on scene with no allowance for error. Many ninja had failed missions and lost more than the capital by not reading enough into evidence found on someone that at first had no reason to be suspect. Genma had been just such a poor soul that had been only trusting enough to get a kunai in his back. And Kakashi, while he grieved his friend's death, had a lesson he'd already learned re-emphasized.

He was glad to see that Sakura had only indulged in a short shower before setting to packing her things as quickly and diligently as possible. She had never, not even in her team seven days, been the type of girl who packed heavy and had a hard time hurrying up in the morning. She did minimal work to her hair and slapped comfortable clothes on and even normally had a moment to spare before the guys got done. He had always had a slight suspicion that she did it to specifically avoid that unfair (and yet mostly true) stereotype. His favorite student had overcome many of the "weaknesses" of women ninja that men like Ibiki had always been quick to point out. She had known that even now, in a world where kunoichi were equal to and often more useful than a male, there were always that select group who were raised and stuck in the old ways. And she'd forced even that select group to respect her. He could feel a swelling of pride in his chest as he glanced at her and saw that sure enough, she was done. He may not have had much to do with her strength now, but she had still been his student. She had been his first, before Tsunade. It brought a very small smile to his face, and he was glad for the mask that covered it. He'd already been staring at her much too long, and she'd wonder if he suddenly started smiling at her.

He had purposefully been dragging out the time it took to pack, searching the room for any hidden bugs or traps. Sakura had known this, so she didn't complain. When his gaze had landed on her and stayed, she only quirked a curious brow. She trusted him not to dawdle for no reason. The poor, foolish girl. He'd had absolutely no reason for ogling her besides just that. Her hair was roughly combed with nimble fingers and her civilian clothes fit more snug that her loose red dress ever had. The fashion for women these days seemed to lean towards fitted rather than practical.

"You ready to head out?" A curt nod was all the response he got, and they dashed out of the room. Quick and silent runs up and down the halls secured that the man had nothing more suspicious in his house than some odd looking collections of questionable character. Satisfied that they had only been on edge last night, they headed out. Some ninjas overplayed the gut card. One could only listen so much to that gut feeling before they just started doing whatever they wanted. That was how innocent lives got stolen and many power hungry shinobi learned their lessons while rotting in jail.

The two knew where their next target village was at and which off the map route to take so finding their way was little problem. They walked in amiable silence, neither of them really wishing to break the peace for quite a while. Occasionally Kakashi would tense as he felt stabs of random anxiety pierce through him, but he was silent and Sakura brushed it off to an uncomfortable back crick or just a residual affect from the nightmare of last night. While it was unheard of to her for Kakashi to ever have a nightmare of that caliber, it wasn't unheard of in the older shinobi to have unexplainable vivid recounts of past battles in their sleep. Especially the ones that had been as war torn as Kakashi. Anything could trigger such episodes, even something in a dream they were already having. Sakura was worried, but she had no illusions that the great Copy Nin couldn't take care of himself. The gray haired man was allowed to break down at least once in his life. And if she tried to pry into it she knew he would only clam up and refuse to acknowledge her the rest of the day. Having just renewed their strong bond, Sakure was in no mood to return to the tense, forced quiet of before.

They had only been walking a few hours when Sakura began to get bored. This was the part she hated about missions. The endless walking from one place to another, trying to be stealthy and watchful while having very few incidents of attack and nothing to be watchful of but a thick forest of trees and the occasional forest critter running across the branches. It always started off peaceful and enjoyable. Then it slowly stopped being like a stroll through the park and more like an endless loop of all the same trees and all the same sky and all the same silence. Although Sakura knew she'd not already passed that tree, she still couldn't tell the difference between it and one she really had already passed. It was this point that Sakura began letting her mind wonder, letting it flip through her thoughts like a rapidly changing television. Once she found something that held substance, she clung to it and expanded on it, allowing her analytical mind to tear it to pieces.

Sometimes she would find something of true genius in the bundle, and sometimes she found herself dissecting the physical and psychological differences between her and Ino that had Ino dating every hot guy in town and Sakura getting stuck with the loser sludge that Ino normally didn't even know existed. Whether or not her mind focused on new ways to exploit chakra usage in battle and the in the hospital or something totally absurd, she always found that it passed the time much more quickly. It was doubtful that Kakashi didn't have his own coping mechanisms for the long and boring walk across endless repetitive landscapes.

She was surprised this time to find that her mind decided to settle entirely on Kakashi. Not his weird behavior, or his strange willingness to comfort her, or even the crazy nightmare that had literally forced him into a screaming mess. Even his blatant admission that she was his favorite, with a tone that said he was entirely serious, had not captured her mind's eye. No. It was the looks he thought she didn't notice him giving her. The tender looks when she was scared, those she had understood. He cared about her, and he did not want someone he cared about hurting on any level. Kakashi had always been that way. But the intense and dark look he would give her at random moments had nothing to do with caring. She couldn't place what emotion boiled beneath his skin for that look to surface, but she was sure it was one she had never seen before. Then the almost frightened glances and the much too long appreciative stares. All of those played through her mind. One moment covered them all, tugging her curiosity more than all the others. Nothing about that moment made sense. It made her breath catch just to remember his face and his eye when he'd looked at her then.

Had he been truly angry, she would have called it a glare to rival all her own. Yet anger is not what she saw. Anger was ugly and mean and had no place in the eyes of a man who had just been doing everything in his power to bring her back from her own fears. She had noticed the soft edge of fear and the shine of hurt, but underneath that had been something more raw. It was not attraction or lust. She had seen Kakashi, fully aware she had seen his face, knew he was afraid of how she would react, hurt already beginning to form at his assumption as she'd jumped away. Yet there had been something akin to hope laying beneath all that, mixing with everything else. That maybe someone would see this hidden part of him and not object so horribly. That maybe, specifically, _she_ would not object so horribly. And right before he had dropped his eyes to stare at the unchanged scenery around him there had been the undeniable proof in front of her. When she had told him that his scar was more beautiful on his face than it could ever be on anyone else's he had given her a look she had only seen once. That one time she had seen it, it had most definitely not been directed at her. And it had not been coming from the Hatake.

A shiver ran down her spine as she tried to make sense of it. There was only one reason to look at anyone like that. What had been going through Kakashi's mind as he'd pierced her with that long stare? And why did that look coming from him cause her heart to flutter and her mind to buzz? Had he been imagining someone else, someone he'd loved? Was she over thinking the look, and it was merely very strong appreciation that the scars he'd been covering most of his life hadn't caused her to scream and flee his presence? So many questions that she didn't have an answer to, that she never would. She didn't understand the fear of rejection that it took to cover a face for at least all the time she had known of him. She'd known he'd had the mask much longer than that. Pictures of him and all his old friends showed his mask as firmly in place back then as is today.

The possibility that she had mistaken his look of relief and gratitude to be something more soothed her mind. In all honesty, her mind could not process the thought that Kakashi may have truly meant that look for her. If he did, she had no idea what she would do with the knowledge. She was attracted to him, like any sane woman would be. And she may stutter and blush if he ever did show even the slightest interest in her. Love was different. She couldn't just turn over and love him even if she'd wanted to. Konoha had rules about that kind of thing….

Kakashi stumbled in front of her, breaking her out of her reverie. While it was true he hadn't been as attentive as he normally was with this walk, she had chalked it up to two nights of very, very little sleep. Stumbling was different. Kakashi never stumbled. It didn't matter if he didn't sleep for a week straight; she had never seen him stumble while he was entirely uninjured. In order for him to even wobble he needed to have lost enough blood that nearly any other man would've died. When she saw his white hair bob down again as he regained his footing, she knew something was wrong. Not wanting to insult him by rushing to his side over a misfooting, she tried calling out to him. All of her medic skills detected nothing wrong, but she knew Kakashi better.

"Kakashi, are you injured?" Blood didn't stain the air with its metallic sting. Chakra searched and found nothing when she checked his body for internal problems. In a physical sense he was perfectly fine. He also didn't answer. "Kakashi?" She sped up, this time catching him as he fumbled his feet again. Fear nearly made her stumble with him.

His face was screwed up in pain with eyes that stared far past the trees. Mental struggle was evident in the clenching and unclenching fists at his side. He turned towards her and his hands clenched tightly onto her arms. She gasped at the sudden pain; the noise seemed to bring him back into reality. The tightened muscles of his anguish loosened suddenly and he suddenly slipped sideways. He'd nearly toppled to the ground by the time Sakura caught him and straightened him out. A lighthearted expression graced his features again and he looked completely normal. Had she not just seen him moments ago looking like someone in a waking nightmare, she may have believed his act. But she now saw the fissures in the mask. His eyes looked far away and his hands twitched anxiously at his side. Every movement seemed too quick, too agitated. It was as if he was holding himself back from something. From her.

"Kakashi, tell me what's going on." She was no longer hinting, or questioning. She was demanding explanation. There was something wrong. Something besides no sleep and stress. He was literally fighting something, and she could tell by the way his hands still seemed to be fighting him to wrap around her in a protective hold told her that she was dead center in his problem.

"I don't know Sakura, I guess I'm just stressed out." His lying smile hardened, and she knew he was trying to seal her out. "I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Just need to clear my head." He patted her reassuringly on the head. She had to fight herself to keep the action from soothing her mind. Just because he did that didn't always mean that everything was fine, and she'd learned that the hard way.

"Kakashi sensei, don't do this. I think you're jeopardizing the mission. Are you sure you're cut out for this right now?" An angry glare and her most stubborn stance told him she was serious. "If you're doing this in the middle of a fight I don't think you can be trusted to cover me." It was a cruel thing to say. It was also the only way he'd listen to her. The lowest of all low blows.

"I'll be fine to fight, Sakura." Ice was edging its way into his voice as he backed away from her a little bit. Immediately she saw him wince and she had to wonder why. "It's just an old man with a little trauma. I think that you of all people can sympathize with trauma." She looked away, remember his hands in her hair and his fingers massaging her back. He had been very sweet to her yesterday, and she was repaying him with suspicions. Even if they were rightly placed, she had to admit that he was right. She had been allowed her traumatic moments, he should be allowed his. Of course, his were different from hers.

He always had a way of making things like that almost not matter.

Almost.

"Kakashi, if you're not going to at least trust me with what's going on so I can maybe try and help you, then I'm going to wait until you have another spell, knock your ass out, and then take you straight back to the hokage. By your ear. For all the village to see." She didn't know if she wanted him to tremble in fear or crack a big smile, but she knew she wanted some reaction besides the fragile look he had now.

As if to prove her point, she reached out and pulled his ear. And was surprised when his face immediately turned into her hand. It wasn't quite the reaction she had been looking for. His eyes were closed and his slight crows-feet slightly pronounced in a smile. The small moment of bliss on his face made her heart skip. What had she been saying again? Her thoughts weren't connecting quite as well anymore.

"Sakura…" He hadn't moved his face yet. Mismatched eyes had opened to stare fixatedly into hers and the affect was mind numbing. "Has anyone ever told you that you're shampoo smells like strawberry wine?" She slowly shook her head. When his head finally did leave her palm it was only to move closer to hers. "And Sakura?" He'd said her name again in that breathless, sigh of a voice. It made her world spin to hear him say her name that way. That wasn't right, was it? In trying to determine this, she'd nearly forgotten that he was waiting for a response.

"Yes, sensei?" She knew her voice squeaked as a pink blush was winding its way up her cheeks. And that she hadn't moved her hand back to her side from where it had only moments ago caressed his cheek.

"You are so easily distracted." The moment broken, he laughed, throwing his head back with the depth of it. If she wasn't so angry at the cruel trick, she may have recognized the way her knees had gone weak at the sound.

"Hatake Kakashi, you are useless." She'd mumbled it as she stomped passed him. He paused in his laughing, following her with a bounce in his step that had been missing all morning.

"I may be, but you keep me here anyways." An angry growl escaped her as she pivoted to give him a good hard slap. Her hand had stopped mid air when she saw his tongue sticking out at her. His bare, non mask covered tongue. Surprised, she looked at his face. A boyish grin was stretched across his visage and white teeth shined through. So, that mask had always hid a perfectly gorgeous smile?

The look of his animated, full, smiling face shocked her. He was truly a beautiful man. Not in a feminine way, that would make her jealous of his good looks as she swore he'd look better in any dress than she ever would. It was a rough meets the smooth way. The scars that had so plagued him in his life were only faintly visible, making his career choice obvious and bringing a devilish quality to his handsomeness. His chin was strong and his cheekbones high. His laughter twinkled in red and black prisons of the utmost luxury. He was like a trashed penthouse. Beautiful, well constructed, nearly flawless… And alive with tales of a wild man tucked away at each supposed imperfection.

"Sakura?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly. She snapped out of her daze and reaffirmed her glare. "Are you ready to keep moving?" His question was met this time with only a nod and a very red Sakura leading the way towards the village. _Interesting… _He pulled up his mask. Now he could assume with confidence that she wouldn't be questioning him at least until she had the nerve to look at him again. And he was just fine for now with the image of her stomping angrily through a forest that they were supposed to be trekking stealthily. She always was the absolute cutest thing when she was embarrassed.

It took the rest of the day for them to reach the next village. It was another small town, only slightly bigger and busier than the last one. Markets were packing up and putting away their things for the night. It wouldn't be long before shops closed their doors. Open signs glowed brightly in restaurant windows and Kakashi saw his teammates longing look in one of the panes at all manner of tasty noodles and breads. They hadn't eaten since their quick meal at Mr. Hayato's house inn. Without even a few seconds of consideration, he pulled Sakura into the first reasonable looking restaurant they came across. This was the information leg of the mission. What better place to find information than the latest gossip in the local food joint? They had a conversation piece, so it wouldn't be too difficult to do. The forehead protector still sat heavily in his pouch, whispering questions of a happier future in his ear with its little white inscription.

Sakura was surprised when his hand had grabbed hers and dragged her into a small, quaint restaurant. Her protesting stomach did not allow her to argue, simply wonder at the mood that had come over him. He normally didn't eat in restaurants while on missions unless there was a strong reason to do so. They had food with them, though they would eat that as little as possible in case anything came up in an emergency. The money they'd brought had only been to buy any supplies they may later discover they needed and a hotel room if setting up camp was too risky. They hadn't really budgeted in a dinner. This spontaneous move could quite possibly cost them later. Yet, when Kakashi looked at her with that creased eye that she could now place that disarming smile to, she knew she couldn't object.

"Information can almost always be found on any subject at a restaurant." He whispered in her ear as they played up their last personas. A shudder barely escaped her as the feel of warm breath tickled her nape. She felt him stiffen for just a moment against her and hoped he hadn't noticed her small reaction to him. "Let's scope." He followed the hostess that had greeted them to a table for two right across from a large window overlooking the decorated entranceway. It was an old habit for any age of ninja to sit by a window or other possible escape route.

It was a fairly nice spot. People were scattered around them, buzzing away at their conversations. Sakura sat carefully on the edge of her seat. Although this place looked nice, it still didn't fit into their budget.

"So, what will you two be having to drink?" A waiter smiled down at her and she nearly blushed under his look. He kept his eyes fixed entirely to her face, but his expression read of guilty intentions. He had obviously not considered that this man with her may be her date. Everything in his body language dismissed Kakashi entirely. He had his pen and pad pointed at her with his eyes never leaving her person. For this reason, she was not surprised to turn and see that her ex-teacher was mildly angry. No one else would've recognized it. No one else would've sensed more than seen the way his foot had started tapping under the table, the way his eye that normally looked only bored suddenly hardened in irritation, the way his hands twirled the menu restlessly.

"I don't know about my fiancé here, but I'll be having water." He smiled stiffly at the waiter that still ogled her. "What do you want to drink dear?" The words were warm and soft when he spoke them. A feeling she didn't recognized flitted through her heart and landed in her stomach. It was a miracle she didn't stutter out her answer in her surprise.

"Tea please." She felt small. At the moment two men were staring at her intensely. One had a look of smugness that she felt had no place. The other was glaring invisible daggers into the skull of the man in front of her. She wasn't sure which one was worse. Finally the waiter walked away and Sakura felt her shoulders sag in relief. "Kakashi, what was that about?" She started to try to be angry at him, but found that when she met his face, she couldn't bring herself to do so. He was smiling that bare faced smile at her again and it caught her off guard. She had never expected that he would take his mask off somewhere so public.

"What was what about?" He had stopped twirling his menu around and now seemed to be scanning through the items listed. Innocence radiated from his face so heavily that all Sakura could do was laugh. "Anyway, how is your training with Tsunade going? I hear you've been helping her develop new chakra techniques."

"Well, she was wanting to see if maybe there were some offensive techniques that a medic may be especially suited for. We have such a deep understanding of the several different networks in the human body and the way all of them intertwine. Why should we only use this to heal when the other side is using all their cards to their advantage? Konoha has grown quite impressive in the medic-nin field. However, our two jobs are kept very separate. Yes, we'll fight on missions where we're sent to heal, but we fight with the same techniques any other ninja is going to use. It would be better if we'd use a combination of our two life choices." She had completely forgotten about his earlier interactions with their waiter as she continued talking about her profession. Unlike most of the guys that asked about her work, she knew Kakashi really was interested in this. If it had to do with ninja work and chakra, he was riveted by the conversation. "And Tsunade doesn't just have me working on it, she has an idea that involves both me and Shizune. It combines Shizune's poison-" Someone said a name in the crowd that had her words stropping abruptly on her tongue. '_Ibachi' _rolled through her conscious to find a place. Ibachi and Selena. White letters and love. Death. The connection found itself immediately and she found herself snapping her shoulders back in recognition. Kakashi was looking at her with only a quirked brow to indicate his confusion. "Someone has mentioned our fallen friend." Images of emptied eye sockets and bloody fingernails had her face feeling numb.

"Ah." A tilt of his head and the forced easy smile on his face told her that he was now listening to the conversations, trying to pick out the one they were searching for. He hadn't actually expected to run into a source of direct information, but he wouldn't argue if he did. It would only make the mission easier and quicker. There were a few reasons someone would mention the name Ibachi. It wasn't particularly common, but not rare enough to be completely unique. They may have been talking of someone else. It was likely that they could have been friends of Selena or Ibachi. It could even be Selena herself, questioning why her loved one wasn't home. Minutes later left Kakashi still searching. He hadn't heard another mention of the name and honestly didn't know if he should be surprised. It wasn't necessarily making Sakura wrong if they didn't hear the name again. Not every conversation consisted of only one person. Just as he was about to give up, he heard it whispered again. The tone was secretive and angry. It was not the tone of a worried lover or a curious friend. It was not even the sound of a simple conversation. The tell-tale static that so softly crackled in the busy air gave everything away. What they were hearing was a man who knew entirely too well the Ibachi they were looking to lay to rest. In here, in this restaurant, eating with them. Listening to them just as well as Sakura had listened to him. They were in eminent danger. "So, dear, how about we skip out on this bill today?" He said the question with another smile

.

"Let's go." Sakura stood slowly, looking around hurriedly for her waiter. They hadn't technically even gotten their drinks yet, so there was nothing illegal about them just leaving. In any dangerous situation proceeding with caution was the only way to proceed at all. And since the only two people that had come close enough to them to possibly identify them by face alone were the hostess and the waiter, it was only sensible to avoid letting them know that they were on the move. "Next time, don't pull me into a restaurant if you can't cover the bill, ok?" She giggled and grabbed Kakashi's gloved hand. Their path was clear if they left now. Both the hostess and the waiter had gone into what looked to be the kitchen, and most of everyone else was paying attention to their meals and the people they spoke to. Scanning the crowd as she walked, she saw the man that had sparked both their interest.

Talking idly to his palm in very hushed whispers was a tall and pale man. Straight blond hair that fell past his chin and stubble that most ninja wouldn't accept at first didn't look unattractive or dangerous. He had a sharp and large nose, with soft brown eyes that were staring at the kitchen. His clothes were bland and entirely void of any discerning characters or distinctive patterns. Nothing about him looked particularly threatening until Sakura saw his hands. They were a knife specialist's hands. Nicks and cuts from training that had never been healed marred the thin fingers and knuckles. Those same cut fingers swiftly twirled a chopstick across each digit. The other hand, whose palm he was talking to, was sitting motionless in the air by his face. Whoever this man was had no problem letting them know that he was there. Either he didn't realize they were in the building and had heard his conversation or he was intentionally making it obvious in a type of warning. When the soft brown eyes glanced up at her and lips that were thin and crooked smirked, she knew that it was not the former. They had been found. Possibly, they'd never even been truly hidden.

Hurrying their step, Sakura and Kakashi smoothly exited the building. Though nothing had been said they ran quickly through the streets, taking as many discreet back roads as they could. If the man wasn't from around here, and it was unlikely that he was, they'd be much safer in the twists and turns of the empty roads. The town wasn't big enough to get lost in a crowd but it was just big enough to have a healthy system of deserted alleyways and hidden dirt paths. For good measure, they double backed over several roads and a couple of hours later they ended up just outside the village. It would do no good to stay in a hotel if they'd been found. Right now, a camp not too far away with a diligent watch was the best they could do.

Kakashi had finished camp when Sakura handed him his dinner. Compared to the meal they'd have gotten at the restaurant, the quick rice and dehydrated vegetables looked sad. Alas, this is the life of a shinobi…

"When I get home, I'm eating a damned steak." The growl in her voice was evident as she chewed the bland white rice. "I'm so sick of mission food."

"Hm." She didn't know if this was agreement or acknowledgement or just his everyday response when he really didn't care. A glance over to him proved that he was staring into something she would never see. His bites were slow and small and distracted. Whatever he was thinking of had him completely enthralled. His mask had fallen to a pool around his neck at the beginning of the meal and Sakura was knocked back again by his face. She was surprised that the shock of it hadn't faded by now.

"Is everything ok, Kakashi sensei?"

"Of course Sakura. You're always asking that." He smiled at her again and she felt her heart quicken. "I'm an old ninja, Sakura. I'm always going to be distant and mysterious and angst-filled. It's part of the ninja requirements." His smile turned into an all out grin and the pink haired medic found she couldn't bite back the laugh that bubbled from her heart. This cliché was always one that Kakashi vehemently disagreed with. He didn't mind being mysterious so much, but he always refused to be the scary old fart in the back of the bar.

"Angst-filled maybe, Kakashi. But you're not so distant or mysterious." She stuck her tongue out playfully and poked him hard in the stomach. For reasons she couldn't explain her hand stayed on his stomach, flattening out to pat where she'd poked. His eyes turned dark and intense almost immediately, and his breathing stalled. Curiosity made it hard for her to remove her hand. But nothing could make her move her eyes from him. Basking in _that_ look from red and black eyes was making her head dizzy. Thoughts pervaded her mind that she was sure she'd never thought before. Thoughts about running her hand over his straw man's smile and moving her finger beneath that well fitted jonins shirt. That maybe this wasn't such a horrible thing for him to be always overly interested in her.

"Sakura." Gloved digits landed in her hair, softly pushing back her loose strands behind her ear. Only Kakashi could make that move seem so intimate. Her eyes, which had been so fixed on Kakashi's lips, moved back to meet his stare. "It isn't nice to toy with an old man." A lone finger slid down her cheek before it fell to his side. His soft smile and gentle eyes brought her back into her reality and her hand snapped away from Kakashi's side, her gaze dropping to the leaves on the ground. She could tell her cheeks were turning a bright red, but there wasn't much she could do. She heard a sigh and turned to see his mask being pulled over the edge of his nose.

"No, please Kakashi. Don't put it back on. I'm sorry." She didn't want to see that wall go back up. He was finally starting to get comfortable around her without it. If he put it back on it was like he didn't trust her that much anymore. She wasn't sure if she could handle going back to the way things had been.

Relief released her breath as his hand paused. "Never thought I'd hear the entirely anti-perversion Sakura asking me to keep my clothes off." He grinned again and winked, making Sakura stammer. He laughed and turned away and just like that everything was over. "Get some sleep, you strange girl." Mirth still rang in his voice.

Twenty minutes later Sakura had just began to fall asleep. Her thoughts lead her into dreams of a charming scarecrow smile with coal and wine eyes. Fingers that were pale and thin and frail for all their strength slid along her body and a mouth as scarred as a sewn up doll battled her own all throughout the night. But only in her dreams.

The night wore long and cruel as Kakashi sat awake. The crackling of the fire and the sounds of creeping animals did nothing to soothe his upset, as it usually did. He found he could concentrate very little on anything besides the visions that swept through him without a moments notice before disappearing twice as quickly as they came. He'd learned just barely how to repress them before too much damage had been done, but how long before they were too strong for him to keep from his teammate? And Sakura was no fool. As the best medic nin in Konoha, second only to Tsunade, she had probably already began to sense the disrupt in his chakra and his overall health. Not to mention that soon he had no doubts his delusions would have him entirely dependant on her presence as soon as he returned from them. He could hardly keep from clasping onto her and breathing in her healthy, alive scent with his head buried in the pulse at her neck. Every time he came back up he could hardly believe she was alive. Glimpses into his own mind's fears and alternate realities to so many things seemed so real and so gruesome that it wasn't until he saw that pink hair swaying with the wind and those green eyes sparkling that he knew he was back.

Most of the visions included other people. Obito or Rin, even Genma appeared on occasion. Naruto and Sasuke had battled to the death countless times in his mind. But for some inexplicable reason Sakura was always there in the background, either motionless or still in the slow and painful process of dying. It seemed no matter what he did he could never save her or any of his other friends. The only thing that kept him grounded in the fact that Sakura was alive and well, and so were his other friends, was the fact that whenever he reopened his eyes Sakura was still ahead of him and often times turned around and looked at him to make sure he was still following dutifully behind her. The suspicion in her worried face spoke volumes. She had already figured out that something was up.

Not that he could blame her. Had he been Sakura, he'd already have dragged his hallucinating butt all the way back home and forced himself to sit in front of the Hokage until the matter was resolved. But he was not Sakura and for that he was glad. She needed him too much on this mission, and if that meant he had to deal for a little while with things, he would. Teammates come first. His own life, health, and sanity could wait.

When he grew tired of poking the fire that wasn't going to rekindle no matter how much he stirred the ashes, and thinking of things that weren't going to go away no matter how hard he pushed them to, and staring at the pink haired kunoichi with longing that wouldn't change no matter how much he pretended it would, he let his mind drift back over Sakura's strange behavior earlier. His heart did flips of excitement and his mind filled with dread.

He wouldn't deny enjoying the feel of her hand against his abdomen, the way her gaze drifted dazedly to his lips and seemed to enjoy staying there. He couldn't ignore the way _that_ look drowning him in deep jade made his heart pound like it never did before. It wasn't as though his heart had never sped up over a girl before. As a man, he'd had several encounters with women that had made his heart race and his head spin and his hands shake. Women were very talented individuals. Normally, however, it required them to actually do something. Not stand there gaping at him with their hand barely on his stomach in an odd kind of pat. And after all the ruckus she'd caused and prevented in his own mind, she lay and dozed in a deeply peaceful sleep. A mumble under her breath or a groan was the only indication she had any dreams at all.

That sleep would only last for an hour or so more. Soon he would need to get off his guard duty and catch some shut eye if he could. The two previous nights of interrupted sleep were already taxing on him. He could feel a sting in his sharingan already. It had been used tirelessly today, pulling him out of visions and suppressing images that had previously flashed through his mind.

Sakura moved in waking, a small hand making its way to wipe sleep from her eyes. As though she had read his mind, she sat up and looked at him. Her hair stuck up in random places, her eyes only half open and her body slumped. Thin pink lips opened wide in a yawn and those tired eyelashes mashed together as she stretched out her limbs and back. The petal haired female always reminded Kakashi of a cat in her waking moments. It may be a slow process, but there were few things he would rather watch. Bright eyes glanced his way, and he was amused to see her face turn red before she quickly averted her gaze. To be so cute and yet still embarrassed spoke of humility and innocence that Kakashi had forgotten the kunoichi possessed.

"Are you tired yet Kakashi?" A groggy, rough voice made him shiver again. He still liked knowing that he was one of the few men that knew exactly what Sakura sounded like when she woke up. Although when he actually thought about it, there was no guaranteeing this. The disturbing thought rose for only a second before he shook it away. He didn't want to think about the possibility that other people were hearing Sakura when she woke up.

"If you don't mind taking watch, I'm not adverse to getting some sleep." He grinned at her as she waved him over. By the time he'd reached the makeshift bed she'd already gotten up and headed to the fire. He wouldn't object. Sleep was all he could think of right now.

He laid his head on his hands and closed his eyes to the stars overhead. Right now, the back of his eyelids was the only majestic thing he was interested in seeing. It didn't take but a few moments for him to fall into a dreamless, thoughtless, blissful sleep.

Only hours later, he woke up to a nightmare that he'd hoped was only a vision. Sakura was bound and gagged, being held to one spot by two very serious looking men. A kunai was pressed to her throat by the dark hand of the man on the right. As much as Kakashi tried, this particular vision wasn't going away. It wasn't until the blond haired spy from before stood in front of him and proclaimed something about a single unauthorized movement would have a kunai straight through his partners jugular that the his eyes widened in true realization.

He was awake and lucid. And now both of them were in extreme danger.


	5. My Empty Field of Grain

_Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah…_

Kakashi stood slowly, keeping eye contact with Sakura all the while. Her neck was craned back, her pulse showing in the skin that was pulled tight across her vein. The dull side of the knife was shoved against her just enough to put a slight pressured line where a cut otherwise would have formed. Her eyes and breath were calm and her mouth was firm in a defiant grimace. He knew that in any given second she could attempt to break free of her captor's hands and he would have to catch exactly when that moment was and spring to action. His reaction to her action could be the difference between their survival and his regret. "By _un_authorized movement do you mean that you can authorize what I do?" He kept his voice low and non-threatening, forcing his hands to stay out to his side. He could only thank all the heavens that his mind was clear of any visions of Sakura dying.

"Me and my friend here do not appreciate you snooping around our town, listening to our conversations and lying about who you are. Now, we aren't sure, but we're starting to think that 'Taki' here, isn't your innocent fiancé." The dark skinned man had leaned close to Sakura, keeping his knife pressed into her throat while he whispered his anger into her ear. Her expression remained unchanged. "You see, he has it. We can always tell when they have it, because they have that expression like their entire life is ending. It always comes and goes at first. It follows you around like a cloud of rain and then suddenly you're living in your own personal hell. It learns what you're afraid of. We could kill you now, but you'll die sooner than later anyways. We like to watch sometimes. Certain types make it more interesting."

"Akio, stop talking so much. Our guests here aren't scared. I'm Daisuke and that guy behind me is Akio." The man from the restaurant seemed to notice their silent communication. "We can kill her at any time, you see, and then just enjoy the show. Whatever pulls apart your sanity will make you lash out, and you'll scream and you'll fight yourself, and you'll try to force everything to stop. Just like all the others. We watched them, too."

"So you know the other victims? Are you the one who puts the genjutsu on them?" Hands still in the air, Kakashi started planning out his moves. He would have to free Sakura first and get her out of harms way. Then Mr. Blond 'n Scruffy would find that he had talked himself into an early grave.

"No, that's not us. They always do it to themselves. You see, it only chooses real bad people. The ones who have done the worst things. They bring it upon themselves." Akio appeared not to be too bright. His grin gleamed like the thirsty talons of a vulture finding the rotten carcass of a child.

"If this thing you speak of searches out bad people, then you would probably be at the top of it's list my friends." And in that second, Sakura's lips split into a smile. With a grin to match Kakashi let out a sharp whistle.

Energy livened him as chakra shoved Akio off of her and even made the other man stumble as he was caught off guard. He had just enough time to watch Sakura twist her torso to punch the arrogant ass who had handled her before his own annoyance managed to catch his footing and fumble for his knives. With a flip and turn he dodged two of the flying blades and grabbed his own kunai. It was heavier than the throwing knives and slower. He also had only a few kunai, while he was sure that his opponent had at least double, if not triple, of his own weapon of choice. Daisuke probably assumed, like many others had before him, that all these facts meant that he had the advantage. Had he realized that he was up against none other than the Copy Nin of Konoha he may have ran. Kakashi would never truly know.

The two fought together as if they were only extensions of the other. Kakashi would punch Akio when Sakura would attack Daisuke and then they would trade again as if nothing had ever happened. Kunai were thrown and some hit while others did not. It was a battle of contrasts. As organized as the two team mates were, it seemed their enemy was sporadic, showing talent and skill in one second while turning childish and wild the next. Akio seemed more interested in shedding blood than causing real damage. Kakashi finally knocked out Daisuke with a well placed plow to the temple right before Sakura managed to exhaust Akio. All will to fight seemed to leave him once his partner was no longer part of the fiasco.

In an act inspired by irony itself, Sakura turned Akio's own knife on him. She stood behind him and held his lank hair in her hands, yanking his head roughly back and whispering so quietly that even Kakashi hardly heard it: "Now, tell us what you know."

"He has it, your friend. Ask him. Ask him what it is. He can tell you." When she yanked his head back again, he only laughed. "Has he not told you yet? Yes, some like to keep it secret. What will the neighbors think, eh boy? That you got the filth disease. We told you. It only chooses the worst of the lot. Only the ones who have done real bad." He laughed some more, apparently hearing a joke that only he understood.

"Kakashi, what is he talking about? Why does he think you have this 'disease'?" She looked at him for reassurance and he knew he should tell her the truth. Admit all, face her wrath, beg her for help. He just could not bring himself to do it.

"I don't know. He probably just wants us to doubt each other." It was a plausible excuse and one he was fairly certain she would fall for. She trusted her teacher so easily.

"You just keep telling yourself that boy. Secrets don't keep friends." Though the mindless guffawing had stopped, a manic grin had taken it's place. It was as though he could not even realized he had lost. Sakura shoved him nose first into the dirt.

"Round up that other bloke and lets drag them back to the village. We'll just have to keep them tied up pretty good and set them on the outside. I'm sure they've done more wrong in their lifetime than harass us, so they're probably wanted for something back there anyway."

He was already winding some sturdy rope around the wrists of Daisuke, carefully searching him for all knives or anything with the potential to be a weapon and removing it. He wound the rope around his waist and then down around his ankles. It didn't leave much wiggling room if he woke up and tried to break free. Each strand of the cord was chakra resistant so there was no cutting them except for manually. It took them only part of the morning to dump them right at the entrance to the town and then walk off. With that out of the way they set off into to the next miniature adventure inside their bigger picture.

"So, we learned just a few things. Apparently, they've seen it happen to more people than we'd at first realized. For all we know they're not the only ones watching it. It takes a period of time to complete it's goal. We don't know how long that is, or what the symptoms even are. They seemed at least on some level to sincerely think you had it, although I wouldn't know why. They said stuff about insanity and tearing you apart and you definitely weren't acting half as insane as them. But there must be something about you that made them think-"

"Come on, Sakura, you really think they would recognize anything about me? They don't even know who I am. Obviously their observational skills are lacking." His tone was dry and he could almost hear the metaphorical thud as she dropped it. "What we need to concentrate on is what is actually concrete, which is almost nothing. They said mostly the same concepts over and over again: the 'thing', which I assume is the genjutsu, goes after bad people; it builds up like a sickness; and it has been used on many others." The more he talked about it the more it fit. He could almost feel his heart slowing.

"That's if anything they said can really be trusted. They did attack us. It's not like they were swapping secrets exactly."

"They thought we were an easy kill, so they weren't exactly keeping secrets either. Besides, if he really thinks I'm on the brink of death then they were probably more concerned with shoving my 'inevitable' fate in my face to be too concerned that they could be giving away anything important. They didn't scream intelligence."

"Yeah, but there was something weird about them. It was like they were both different people half the time. Sometimes they seemed intelligent and sometimes they seemed dimwitted. The same with their capabilities. At times they seemed surprisingly skilled and others they seemed almost like they were children swinging around wooden toys. Something else was off. I don't think they were entirely in control, Kakashi. It was like someone else was pulling the strings half the time."

"Sakura, those were no puppets. They had flesh that you could feel when you hit them, blood that bled just like any other. Maybe they were handicapped?" It was a foolish reasoning even to his ears. It was highly unlikely that the two of them both managed to have the same handicap that acted up simultaneously. Yet, try as he might he could not force his thoughts to connect right.

The lack of sleep was messing with him in more ways than one. His sharingan had been running almost constantly since they found the body in an attempt to stay above the rolling tides of waking nightmares. It was tired and failing now and the effect was almost like someone was shoving his head under icy cold terror every few seconds. He was only barely managing to fight his way back up. The Sakura that stood in front of him healing her own wounds kept flickering into a corpse on the forest floor. The blood Akio had so enjoyed splattering everywhere only added to his terror. Before he could stop himself a groan of dread escaped him. The last one had held Sakura, Rin, and Obito. Each image brought with it overwhelming guilt at his inadequacy. Why hadn't he been stronger? Why hadn't he been able to move faster? How could he have let them slip away?

There was a ray of light in his darkness and his visions faded into the reality before him. Sakura was ok, and her hand had rested lightly on the bare skin of his arm. Her green eyes were closed as she concentrated on healing his few minor cuts and scrapes. She must have mistaken his groaning to be from pain. For her mishap he was grateful. Her touch seemed to have chased away his demons.

"I must admit I was a little worried about you before Kakashi. You were acting so secretive and strange. And then we fought and I knew I was wrong. You're still the same old strong Kakashi as ever." She had finished up healing him and was about to walk away. He didn't want the visions to start again…

Without thought thin fingers had clasped her wrist. They weren't strong enough to the point that she could not have walked away if she wanted to. But something about the way he so gingerly asked for her to stay near him made her turn. His hand never left, his palms gently resting on the back of hers. He pulled his mask down again and smiled at her. It had seemed strangely intentional, like he needed it off for some reason. Her heart leapt as he pulled just slightly on her captured wrist. What was he planning?

"Sakura, you know you're just as strong as me. You may not be able to do all the things I can do, but since I can't do all the things you can do, I guess we're just about even." His scarecrow smile broke open again and his voice barely rose above a whisper. There was a gratefulness in his eyes, a softness in his words. And suddenly fear grabbed Sakura by the throat and pulled her away from him.

"Kakashi, why have you never tried to get someone to try and heal your scar again? We've learned so much about chakra resistant scars and how to reconnect the skin tissue that someone could probably fix it up for you." As soon as she said the words she wished she could shove them back in her mouth. They felt unnatural and awkward as they fell from her lips and she regretted the instantaneous subject that had popped into her head at just the wrong time. His light hearted happiness seemed to evaporate and his expression hardened into an almost unreadable look.

"I guess I have Stockholm's Syndrome, in a way. It's kept me locked up behind my mask so long that I feel kind of attached to it, comfortable with it. It is the same face I've looked at for just around 19 years now." His voice was frosty and numb. He had read into what she said all wrong.

"Kakashi I didn't mean it like that. I just panicked and your scar is the first thing I thought of!" It was like the more she talked the further the foot flew in her mouth. He had dropped her wrist and turned his back, wincing as he did so.

"I get it Sakura. Ok. Scarecrows don't get flowers. We get a field of nothing to guard." There was no mistaking the bitterness biting off every word. He walked further into the forest, already heading for the next village. His steps were quick and graceful, dodging branches and stick and stones. He went forward without looking back at her and she felt her heart sink deeper still. She had really screwed up this time.

"Kakashi. Please. I didn't mean to upset you." He ignored her. How could she have let her own issues force unintentional insults at the one man she trusted? How was she going to fix this? "Please don't be angry at me… I really didn't mean it."

"Didn't mean what, exactly, Sakura?" He finally turned on her, but she was not entirely sure that she did not prefer his silence. Venom dripped from every word. "Didn't mean to bring up my horrible disfigurement? It's just the first thing you thought of to throw the situation off. Right? I guess it looks good on me, as long as it doesn't look like I'm getting a little attached. I don't blame you, really. I don't. I wouldn't want to get too close to a freak either." He had already started heading off again. He hadn't yelled, hadn't raised his voice in the slightest. But she could feel the sting of his pain in the lashing of every insecurity she had rattled into her face.

"I didn't mean to try to shove you away. I didn't mean to-" Suddenly he was back, crouched low beside her with his hand across her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her as he jumped into a tree and she nearly yelled. This is not what she expected from his angry outburst. She twisted to try to wriggle away before she caught sight of what had prompted his strange behavior and went still.

Below them Akio and Daisuke walked hurriedly past, both cursing under their breath about having lost their target. They spoke again into their palms, reporting their loss to someone far away. From the buzzing in the air their receiver was not very happy. It took only a few seconds for them to pass Sakura and Kakashi by but they remained perched in the tree for several long minutes. Her offense seemed to be forgotten as he stared after the invisible backs of their trackers.

"How long do you think before they back track and realize where we hid?" The sound of her voice was nearly silent as it drifted through the dense protection of the trees.

"Probably not too long. They'll realize we haven't continued past this point and they'll want to try to find out where we caught on to them. We can't continue on to the next village, that's where they're expecting us. We could try to go back to the village behind us or we could try one of the villages neighboring it. Either way, they're going to catch up to us and force another confrontation sooner or later. We only need enough time to figure out why exactly they're tailing us. If they honestly do believe that I'm linked to whatever has been killing these people then they'll most likely be trying to apprehend me and will either disregard you entirely or will disregard your life as unimportant and invaluable. Either way, they will not be overly concerned with keeping you alive or safe. Please, no matter what you may feel towards the subject, don't object to me protecting you. We may have underestimated these two if they truly are only being controlled. The enemy then is not them in particular, but the puppeteer." He balanced easily on the limb of their branch, talking more to himself than her.

Sakura watched his mind at work, knowing that every second they just sat there was a second closer to danger. His brow was creased in concentration as he planned each new move and retraced each step. She knew that his philosophy was patience and it had never failed them before. It had gotten them in some tight corners and nearly killed them, but never had it truly failed them. She could not interrupt him when he was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he had forgotten to be mad at her.

"We'll go to one of the villages behind us. Not the one we just came from, but one of the branch offs. Then we'll see what we can do." And with that he was lost in the trees. Apparently he had not entirely forgotten that he was mad at her.

They traveled endlessly through the forest, not daring to stop. It was early morning when they finally decided to rest for a few hours. Hopefully their shadows had gotten tired long ago and lay asleep in the night. They ate their dehydrated rice quickly and Kakashi lay down at Sakura's insistence. She still felt guilty for her thoughtless comment earlier, not to mention the fact that he had not hardly had a nights sleep in days and she could already tell the exhaustion was weighing on him in more ways than one. Several times he lifted his hand to rub absently at his Sharingan when he thought she had stopped looking. It was only slightly swollen at the moment, but she knew soon it would start acting up more drastically if it didn't shut down for a while. She wasn't sure what he was using it for, but she had learned not to ask him about it long ago.

She was faced again with the sound of his snores floating up into the sky. Troubles had seemed to find him in his deepest sleep again, rolling around behind his eyes and making the muscles in his cheek twitch. Once or twice she saw his arm lift as he reached out towards her before dropping it down onto the dirt. His skin was pale and his hair was damp with sweat despite the chill in the air. She wondered how he was getting any rest at all with all his twisting and turning.

She tugged his mask down below his chin again, running her forefinger along the rough scar across his face. He calmed as she pulled her fingers through his hair, smoothing it away from his eyes. The damage to the Sharingan was light and she did some quick healing on it before she continued to explore the smoothness of his skin. It was not long before he was almost as peaceful as he had always been. Her fingertips strayed toward his scarred lips and she felt the electric drag of each tip. What would have happened if she would have allowed him to do what he had been considering? Would they have felt awkward and weird after that? Would they have been caught by Akio again? Would he have actually done it? Did she regret pulling away?

Sure, she regretted hurting him. She never wanted to cause him harm of any kind. But could she honestly say that she wanted him to kiss her? She knew that on some level she did. On some level she could see all the signs around them of something deeper than their strange friendship. She could see it on the days that he walked by her in the store, turned, and then was walking with her in the store without a pause in between. It was clear in the comfortable silences when she had come to his apartment to hide from Tsunade and the gut wrenching pain in her heart when she thought he had finally waited too long to come to her after a mission. She had known for a long time that he was growing closer to her, more dependant. At first she had been looking forward to it, knowing that with him things would be different. There would be times when he let her down, but he would never crush her heart like the last one. He was so sweet and he understood things that other guys seemed to think were unimportant. Not things like romance or personal space. Things that went deeper than that.

He understood that sometimes it was better for him to sit in silence and let her cry than for him to try to offer her advice. He understood that sometimes he needed to pull a wise ass comment to put her back in her place. He understood that as a kunoichi she deserved respect, but more than that, she needed support. He knew that she didn't want to be played with in a fight, she wanted someone to take her seriously and if they can, she wants them to beat the daylights out of her. He understands that it's not because of some self loathing idea that if she had been stronger she could have stopped her friends from leaving, but because she could be stronger and would have to be stronger in the battlefield. He knew that she was trusting him with her life and he would never let her down. And all of these things had buried themselves in her heart and were giving root to something that she knew she would have to face one day, either to pull it up and throw it out or to embrace it and let it flourish.

She'd had no doubts; until Sasuke had shown up bleeding on her doorstep begging for help. She had thought it was Kakashi and opened the door, not bothering to really look until the dark haired stranger had stumbled into her home uninvited. He had leaned against the wall with his arms wrapped around him in pain screaming for help. She had done everything. Her panicked hands had shakily reunited veins, connected tissue, sewn up wounds and still it had been a close call. He had lost a lot of blood and she had only just been able to pull all his tissue back together before he was trying to get on his feet. There was no guarantee he was alive out there in the wild somewhere. She had done all she could and then he had tried to do everything all over again.

He had known she would not fight him too much for fear of killing him. He had trusted that no matter what he did to her, she would never be able to deal a fatal blow. He may have really believed that she still loved him somewhere deep in her heart. Regardless of his reasoning, what he did would never be forgiven.

Sakura stared down at the man who's head she had carefully moved to her lap. If she kissed him, or he kissed her, it would be real. It wouldn't just be an idea anymore, or a secret wish shoved into the very depths of her heart. It would be something that was really happening and the thought scared her. Not because this broken man had scars or experience or pain. Not because it was frowned on in Konoha. She knew these things already and found she easily could dismiss the latter and confront the former. No. She feared the failure of such an adventure. She feared that their unique relationship would not be enhanced by a delve into the deep but instead would crumble as he learned the hidden parts of her past where the cob webs had infested even her own memories. She feared he would see her not as his stronghold, but another piece of baggage to carry on his already burdened shoulders. And while she knew that her fear was unfounded, that did not lessen it. She had learned long ago that everything came at a price and everyone had a breaking point. The only person who mattered that she did not know the price or point for was him.

Her hands were still winding their way through his hair when he started to emerge from the land of dreams. All the twitching and moaning had long ago quit and when he opened his eyes it was with a look of renewal. The sharingan seemed to be much less agitated and his expression was content for the few seconds it took him to realize that his head was laying in Sakura's lap. Though his mouth grimaced and his brow furrowed in his sour mood he remained still, apparently too comfortable to be bothered to actually move away from the source of his annoyance. That didn't keep his dry voice from reaching into her ears and declaring his thoughts.

"Thought I was too scarred, Sakura." She glanced down to see his multicolored gaze trying to pierce her face.

"I never said that Kakashi. I told you that I panicked. You don't know everything and sometimes you shouldn't just jump to conclusions. I sincerely don't find your scar cosmetically disturbing. I'm sorry that it happened to you, yes. But if I wasn't, I think that would make me a mighty cold person."

Without warning he was kneeling in front of her with his arms like immovable towers on either side blocking her escape. His eyes were intense again, this time holding anger with that other unknown emotion.

"I may not know everything Sakura, but even you know that what you said didn't sound like you don't find my scar scary. Have you tried getting someone else to fix it for you, Kakashi?" He said the last part with a sneer. "I'm sorry if I don't get it." The anger dissipated as he leaned closer to her, frustration still evident. She was already leaning back on her elbows, trying not to lose her balance and fall flat. All emotion was void in his face now and he rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed and breath steady. "I thought that if anyone would look at me and see past the Scarecrow it would be you Sakura." And then he was standing, clearing up what little camp they had made and covering all signs that they had been there. She just sat with her hands in her lap, contemplating the weight of his words.

Before long they were walking again, covering as much ground as they could in the treetops. There had been no sign of Akio and his partner as they reached midday. A painful tension had built up between him and Sakura and though he wanted to apologize, every time he saw her marching forward resolutely at a distance from him, looking in every other direction, he felt a stab of betrayal and could not bring himself to do it. His visions had not returned with any strength and he hoped this was a good omen. Maybe they would go away entirely and they really had been just a side effect of no sleep and the shock of finding his attraction to Sakura suddenly so magnified. It was even possible that his sharingan was trying to do something new and he was just now able to exercise control over it. It would not be the first time his eye had gone off and done it's own thing leaving him to clean up the mess.

Once evening drew near, Kakashi started wondering if the pair of tagalongs that they were trying to avoid had stumbled upon them. They had walked all day in the general direction of the village they had come from with no reunion. It was almost too easy, as though they weren't even really all that concerned with finding him. That was not at all how people acting under the violent threats of an angry boss responded. They were nearly to their destination and no sign. It would not be any later than late morning when he and Sakura walked from the trees and found somewhere to sleep and hide for a couple of days. How could they be sure that they were not being lulled into a false security only to be ambushed once they left the safety of the forest? How long had they been followed in the first place?

Darkness had long since fell when they stopped in a small clearing. It wasn't big enough that they couldn't easily escape an attack, but it was at least big enough that there wouldn't be a hiding spot for someone that was trying to keep track of them. Sakura had already started building a small fire with as many dry twigs she could find and he was setting up some safety precautions so that way if someone did try to attack they wouldn't be caught entirely off guard. When they had both finished their self assigned tasks they sat exhausted around the fire and ate the freshly re-hydrated dehydrated rice in silence. Short lived, suffocating silence.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi. I know it wasn't right of me to act the way I did." Her voice was small.

"Don't worry about it. I understand. I'm sorry for being so angry. You should get some sleep." The dark circles under her eyes did not argue with him as she laid down. He had not really forgiven her so easily, but he saw no reason to pursue his frustration any further so he had no choice but to drop it.

"You know, I was talking to some of the academy students. They thought that the entire time we were on missions we were in constant battle and everything was interesting and exciting. They didn't seem to realize that we spent more time sleeping and walking than anything else. I swear they are not at all prepared for the reality of what happens out here." She shook her head with a grin on her face.

"You do remember the first mission Team 7 went on, don't you?" His grin showed that those had been happy times, despite everything. "Naruto whined almost the entire walk until he finally got into a fight. And once we were under attack he suddenly realized he was 'not at all prepared for the reality of what happens out here'. All of you were stronger than I thought though. I knew you would all be different. I just never knew that you would be different in so many familiar ways." He trailed off and she knew that his memory was no longer happy. How hard had his life been? She knew what it was to be left behind.

Timidly, she reached out and held his hand. He was warm again, no clammy sweat to slick his grasp. She half expected him to yank his hand away. Instead he just looked down at her with mixed emotions and squeezed her fingers. His words echoed in her ears: 'It isn't nice to toy with an old man.' Was she toying with him? She did not know. She had no intentions to toy with him. His presence just seemed to take hold of her brain and she lost all concept of what she was doing. When he was gone she wanted him home, when he was near she wanted him nearer. The thought alone of the implications scared her. The thought that refusing the invitation may cause her to lose him forever scared her even more. A life without Kakashi seemed impossible.

"I remember that fight. I remember standing there feeling absolutely useless. I remember watching my teacher fight with all he had as he protected his team that had done nothing but argue and bicker and whine. I remember quoting off every rule in the book to myself as you broke them. I remember crying over Sasuke and never thanking you. I remember the look of anger in your eyes as you fought. It was the most I have ever respected a man in my life." She smiled and did not look him. She had never told him about her awe. "You're always trying to protect everyone else and you never even seem to think about yourself. I was always so afraid, I was always running away. But you, you stand and fight so others don't have to. You sacrifice yourself so no one else has to be courageous. One day I realized that I had been aspiring to be like the wrong people all my life. I finally realized that the person I really wanted to grow into was you." She risked a glance up and was surprised.

He was staring at her with the intense stare that melted her insides and he appeared to be the most downhearted she had ever seen him. "Sakura, there was a time when my worries were about the rules and the mission alone. I would have left one of my friends behind because saving my friend meant sacrificing the mission. I thought power was the way to make it where my father had failed. If you had power and you kept yourself cold you would never have to worry. You'd never have to be close to anyone. I was going to leave Rin to die the night Obito died. It's why he's not here today. He was a lot like Naruto. He had all these grand ideas and loyalty to rival even our own crazy ninja. He wouldn't go on to finish the mission without her. He all but forced me to follow him back and save her. When he died, he gave me his eye. He taught me that you don't leave your friends behind. I've never wanted his lesson to go wasted." He touched his sharingan for just a moment before dropping his hand back down. "That's why I save people. I was left behind. Eventually she died and there was only an empty wheat field to protect. Occasionally people wonder in, and they just so happen to benefit."

"I won't pretend to entirely understand, but I hope that some day I can help. You know I'm always here for you. And Naruto too." She could feel herself starting to nod off and tried to fight it.

"You have no idea what that means to me, Sakura." She was already half way between sleep and waking, her eyelids drooping heaving. He knew she really didn't understand. She never would.

"Were you in love with Rin?" Her tired face had gone red and she stifled a yawn, barely holding her eyes open. "Everyone always assumes so, cause you two spent all your time together before she died…"

"No." He was not sure if she heard his nearly silent answer. She already lay with her eyes closed and her breath was quickly evening out. "She always loved Obito…" And her evenly rising and falling chest let him know that she was no longer aware of the conversation.

He had never been in love with Rin. And she had never really been in love with him. When Obito had died, it had steeled their relationship forever as only friends. And often there was only one person he could turn to about his guilt, while he was the only one that shared the depth of her loss. They had spent every moment with each other before she died and he had deeply missed the companionship in the years that she was gone. Somehow, the space he had held in his heart that was only for them became crowded with his team. And the place that had never been filled by anyone seemed to increasingly stretch with this pink haired little princess that quickly grew into a strong ninja.

Sometimes he swore he had seen her do things that no other human was capable of. Her skills as a medic were unrivaled. There were times when he was sure the wounds she had healed were too intricate for even Tsunade herself to have fixed so entirely. She had dragged him back from death so many times he could hardly count. She was the one that had suggested to Tsunade that they combine the two separate skill sets of the medic nin and the elite assassins. She had memorized all the rules, like someone else he had known so long ago, but unlike that foolish young boy, she had known that not all things could be set inside those guidelines. Far before she would ever know she had been stealing his heart, in so many different ways.

He had not always been falling in love with her. At least, not the kind that he was now so easily and terribly drowning in. When she had been only a small child playing on the playground she had been a reminder to him of innocence he had almost forgotten. He had played with her when all the other children thought she was too strange to confront. Swinging her up on his shoulders and whisking her away home with imaginative stories of her fortress of safety calling their little princess back inside had taken up more afternoons than he could count. But he had always been called away for more and more dangerous missions. It came to a point where he could not stand to talk to anyone for weeks, not even that charming young girl with pink hair. The last few missions he tackled were nearly enough to drive anyone mad, and many of his comrades were lost. People who had trusted him and depended on him had been brutally lost in the field and he had survived. It had been so unforgivably unfair that he could not imagine going back. So he had shoved everything back into a box that would not be opened for a very long time, and it was years before he saw this petal princess stand in front of him again. Scars upon scars upon scars had buried those happy memories deep in a painful heap.

She had grown in all those years, no longer the little girl playing by herself on the playground. Now she was popular and snobby and smart and he had not recognized her. With almost microscopic skill she had remained entirely unnoticed by him except for as a bothersome buzzing in the back of his mind about something familiar, like a name he had just barely forgotten. Once Tsunade had dug her claws into Sakura's talent and dragged her into the world of medicine and chakra control he hardly saw her for months at time, just enough to maintain the rough kind of friendship they had. Then she had been taken entirely in and he had heard only rumors about her newest breakthroughs. He had continued waiting for her and she had continued healing him but that was all the contact they had for months. Everything changed one day when Tsunade decided that Sakura needed to get more on field experience and had shoved her out the door with only her theoretical knowledge and Kakashi to lead her. Natural talent had lead her to become the most inspirational female in Konoha. There was not a mission yet that Sakura and Kakashi had failed. In this new relationship, in these new memories, she was an adult. There was no connection between her and the lonely child Kakashi had played with. Except for the fallen father. He had known that her dad had died, this adult Sakura that stood before him everyday, with a bright smile on her face and a bounce in her step. So had many other children that age. He had just assumed that her father had died in the war like all the others.

That one question had crashed all his memories down on him and he had felt sick in his stomach at the realization that he had played with and known this girl so long before she had walked through the doors as a genin. He had known she was so much younger than him. He had known that Konoha would not approve. But he could not reconcile these feelings he had for her now with the little girl seesawing in the grass, barely reaching the ground with her tiny feet. She was an adult now. She was stronger and older and more mature. She had grown far beyond her other academy friends. Ino was still squabbling with Choji and Shika when Sakura was making medic history. All these things tipped the scales only slightly in his mind, but no matter what her status was in his mind, it all seemed to fly out the door when she walked around him. He could not deny that there would never be a day without Sakura that he felt alive for him. When she was near, he felt like a fool blubbering around either trying to act like his feelings were not obvious, or trying desperately to make sure they really weren't.

He had known he was expecting too much for her to actually want to be with him or near him or love him. She was his friend and that was enough.

She lay quietly now, unaware of all the turmoil she had caused in him. She had been too young to really remember much. It had not been like he had been there every day after all. She would not consider him such an important fixture of her life, and she obviously had her own problems at home and with people at school. Her face was calm with her silent slumber and she seemed entirely unencumbered by nightmares or regret. It would not be too long before he had to wake her up for them to continue their journey into diseases and fears and genjutsu that both of them feared more than the other knew. He could only hope that they were prepared.

Before he knew it morning had rolled around the top of the trees and woke him with bright sun on his face. He must have dozed sometime during the night. Self inadequacy filled his mind again as he checked to make sure everything remained intact and Sakura was not chopped up or bound. When everything appeared normal he let out a sigh and woke the sleeping girl as gently as he could.

"Time to go Sakura, we have some ground to cover quickly." He had already cleared everything except their resting area and she took only a few seconds to get ready.

"I can't wait until I can get a good shower in. I smell like dirt and sweat and just gross." She sniffed her shirt, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "And you owe me a good meal. You got my hopes all up last time and then we had to run out on the bill! Which would have been fine, except we didn't get our food first." Her stomach growled loudly as if to emphasis her point.

"Don't worry, you'll get plenty to eat. We'll have to freshen up and change anyways." They rushed off into the trees, leaving almost not trail.

Their silence was amiable once more as they moved in flashes toward their destination. Hopefully when they got there it would be when everyone was busy and they wouldn't hardly notice the strangers enter into their little home. It was harder to go unnoticed in a small town than a big city, unfortunately, and Kakashi knew this. So stealth and a really good cover story would be their most important weapons today.

"I think the story of Taki has been breached. We could try another hiking story, but they may not believe they have so many lost hikers in the area at once. What do you think?"

"I think we tell them a little bit about the truth. We could tell them we had heard of the murders, that we're trying to see if we could help. I think these people want this guy gone just as much as we do. They're just scared. If we did it right, we might be able to win them over. We probably shouldn't tell them we're ninja, or that we're from Konoha. The less looks like more approach is probably the best to take. A small town is going to be a lot more afraid of a killer than a big city. They have a lot more to lose when they lose." Her plan made sense, but it was very risky. If she was wrong and they acted hostile towards them, possibly even turned them over to the two guys searching for them right now, there would be no guaranteeing Kakashi could keep them both safe.

Just as the sun was reaching its peak in the sky the little village came into view. It had only a few homes and a couple of businesses scattered throughout the center. People were bustling around, coming or going from it's neighboring town, only just busy enough not to notice as Kakashi and Sakura slipped in with a small crowd.

They had only been walking a few minutes inside when Kakashi felt a sharp pain in his temple and his world shifted into his horrible nightmares again. Only this time it was more powerful than before, as if it had been saving up energy for this attack. He fell to his knee with the pain of it, both hands clasping his skull. Konoha lay in ruins, Tsunade dead in front of her office and Naruto fallen in the street. All of his friends were scattered around the town, blood an inch thick on the ground. Fear pushed his feet forward, each step taking him closer to a familiar place. When the ground changed from flooded pavement to sodden ground he was nearly running to the stone. He knew what he would see when he got there. Hot, suffocating fright filled his lungs as he slowed. There she was, leaned back on the shining black stone. The carved names behind her seemed to all scream their accusations at him. Her eyes were open peacefully, dark green pools of forgiveness. Carved across her forehead, in small letters that glowed red with fresh blood, was his name. Obito and Rin smiled at him behind her, trying to beckon him away, but his eyes could not leave her. Her lips formed a tiny smile as if she mocked his misery. His feet, which had been so eager to torture him with this sight, now trudged forward at a snails pace to bring him in front of her. Weakly grabbing her shoulders, he tried to shake her awake. It did not work as he had expected. With resistant lungs he pulled in a long and ragged breath.

"Shinobi do not cry Kakashi. Remember?" Obito's voice was cold and cruel. It was not the Obito that he knew.

"Shinobi do not cry. Or save their friends. I am no shinobi, Obito. I once was, but not any more." He could hear the hoarseness in his voice and did not care. She would not wake up and he could not seem to do anything to wake himself out of the nightmare. As much as he stared at her she stared right back with completely unseeing and unblinking eyes.

"Don't be a crybaby, Scarecrow. Now come with us." Rin sounded just as dispassionate as Obito. These were not the friends he had known. These were not the friends that had been understanding even unto their deaths.

"No, I can't leave her." _She can't be dead… _He tried shaking her again and nothing happened. The name carved across her smooth skin seemed to scream his guilt at him. "Sakura…" He felt the word moan out of his mouth as the nightmare started receding. The not-Obito and not-Rin ran away, as if trying to prolong their departure. "Sakura…"

"Kakashi, wake up! It's ok, it's ok. Shhh…" Her voice was hurried and he could feel himself being dragged across the floor somewhere cold. Blind green eyes still floated before him. "Come on, wake up. Shhh… Everything's fine now, see. I'm ok." Delicate digits were nimbly floating across his sharingan and soothing the ache in his temple. He could feel the sweat on his hands and in his hair now that he was aware and shame rooted itself in his stomach. He had collapsed in the middle of the road and probably given away their cover entirely.

"I'm sorry Sakura, I didn't mean to. I don't know what happened. Where are we?" He tried to look closely at her alive face but she kept sliding in and out of focus. He reached towards her without thinking, trying to grab hold of her so she'd quit moving but she slapped his hand away, too intent on healing him to recognize his intentions. "Sakura, please…" Another sharp pain and another realistic vision left him nearly screaming on the foreign floor. In his panic he had grabbed her, toppling them both over.

As soon as she touched his skin the visions started to fade again, this time faster and easier than before.

"Kakashi, what's wrong? What's going on? Answer me this time, damn it, or I'm leaving you here." She only ever yelled empty threats when she was really scared, and Kakashi knew it was time to come clean. He kept his hands firmly attached to her forearms, afraid to let go lest the visions attack him again. This was going to be a long and difficult conversation…


	6. Disappear

_You had my heart inside your hand, but you played it to the beat…_

Sakura's troubled face stared up at him and he had a hard time figuring out where to start. He had finally decided to tell her, and now he was not sure where to begin. The first terror seemed so long ago, so unimportant in the building fear that followed. A little old woman, with a face of the devil. A vision of the petal haired princess's blood splattered across the wall as her corpse lay bound to a guestroom chair. Her body being propped up by the stone with his name carved across her forehead as Rin and Obito sneered down at him in disgust. Everything seemed so unbelievable now. How could he have ever thought his nightmares were reality?

"Kakashi, I'm serious. Tell me, now."

Had he ever really told any one the things he feared and the insecurities that festered in his own heart? "I want to Sakura. I haven't been entirely straightforward with you." He tried gulping in the breath that alluded him. "I haven't been sleeping very well lately, due to some pretty horrendous nightmares." It was a good part of the confession, though he knew she already had figured this part out.

"I gathered as much. You know, the jerking around, screaming, clutching me to you like I was going to disappear part pretty much says it all." Her mouth was set in a firm line and he knew she was waiting for elaboration.

"Well, my waking moments aren't exactly a party either." She quirked an eyebrow at him, not exactly understanding. "I've possibly been hallucinating." His voice was small. Not quite small enough to go unnoticed, unfortunately. "About people. Dying. You know, important people."

"Important people like Tsunade people? Or important people like your old team people?" Her expression was disbelieving. "You hid hallucinations from me? You do realize what we're up against, right?" Somehow, he had thought there might be just a smidgeon of concern with her anger. If there was, it wasn't showing itself. "He works with genjutsu. Our **killer** works with genjutsu, that causes hallucinations. Are you an idiot? Why would you ever keep a secret like this?"

Her anger was justified. Entirely. He had not only kept the secret, but had specifically lied to her, telling her that nothing was wrong, when many, many things had been indeed wrong. Things that were vitally important to their mission. Things that may even mean possibly jeopardize her safety. Why had he not told her this before again? For the life of him, he couldn't think of a good reason for hiding it from her now. There had seemed to be so many good reasons before. "I thought it would be better for you to have someone you trusted in the mission. Someone that you could count on to be there and save you. I didn't want for you to take me back to Konoha because I wanted to be here with you." What pathetic excuses for putting her life in danger. He could not have possibly protected her in his panicked state.

"Kakashi, I would have tried to help you, I would have tried to heal you. I wouldn't have kept on with the mission without you if you had become a victim. Listen, we've got to take you back to the Hokage. She may be able to find a way to reverse the genjutsu."

"Sakura, do you remember the actual plan?" An idea had just occurred to him. A brilliant idea. Sakura was one of the best ninja in all the village, both as a medic and an extremely accomplished warrior. She could do this, better than anyone else. "Allow for someone as bait, and the other person goes in and saves the day. Not a complicated plan. Not very cool either, come to think of it. I'll talk to Tsunade about that later. But listen, we can still do the plan."

"Look, Kakashi, I know you're a great ninja and all that, and I know you've probably been through worse, but I'm not about to let this guy in my head when he's already in yours. I don't think either one of us would be able to defend the other in that state." She was answering almost exactly as he thought she would. Her confidence was still surprisingly lacking after all she had done to achieve her fame in Konoha.

"Sakura. You don't have to be the bait. You don't have to succumb to the genjutsu at all. You can kill the ninja that did this, and I can be the bait. I'll help you if I can, but I'll probably have to be in a much worse state to lure him out." Quickly, he dropped Sakura's hands and felt the anxiety return. "I don't want to be too bad though." The idea was already forming quickly in his mind. There was a big chance that Akio and Daisuke had been acting on the killers orders. "I think Akio and Daisuke were legitimate. Their story makes sense with what's been going on. If I really am infected with the killers genjutsu, then he'll probably want to watch."

"Kakashi, you said earlier that we couldn't trust what they were saying. We don't even know for sure the genjutsu is what you're experiencing. And don't say infected, like it's a disease. It's a genjutsu, a perfectly reversible, not contagious genjutsu." He could sense her own fear rising with the prospect of having to fight what may possibly be her father's killer. He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look him in the eyes. Hers were already wide with panic.

"Sakura, you are one of the best we have. You are not only an ANBU ranked elite, you are a medic, trained by the Hokage herself. If you can't do this, there is no one that can. With your skill set, you were almost born to do this." He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. She trembled against him. "Sakura, I can't do it. I will be absolutely useless soon, to be honest. If I'm not in constant contact with you, it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest in a crash of anxiety. I know I have been strong for you all these years, and I know it is a lot to ask of you, considering the circumstances. If you truly want to, we can go back to Tsunade and see if she can heal me. But I almost guarantee you that if the Sharingan can't figure out what exactly it is, she won't be able to." This seemed the wrong thing to say. Her face went several shades paler.

"The sharingan doesn't work against it?" Her words sounded fragile as they left, as if they broke right before reaching his ears.

"It does, but not as completely as it works against other attacks. It can hold it at bay, keeping the actual visions from breaking through, but it can't hold back the fear or the anxiety for long. The only thing that truly seems to keep all the horrific feelings away is contact. Full physical, skin to skin contact." Gentle fingers had started playing their way through her hair, trying to calm her as she shivered again in his embrace.

"How long do you think we have until the guys show up? If I'm going to use you as bait, we've got some things to change in our plan. They'll probably need to find you alone. I am not quite as important to their master as you are. If they usually watch the victims die, they probably do so with the actual killer as well. If I want to live to follow them I'll have to remain hidden. Once we get there, I'll need the element of surprise to really have any sort of edge in a three on one battle." Even more blood drained from her face at her last few words. It would not be an easy night for her.

"I can probably set up a look out or two through out the village to make sure we know when they show up. I'll want to be in pretty good shape when they get here, so make sure you stay close by until I tell you otherwise. Like I said, the only thing that seems to bring me back entirely is you. Until they show up, we'll have to be careful." He let her go and sat on the dusty wooden floor of their hideout. It wasn't too bad, the shadowy home Sakura had dragged him into. It would be a good idea to scope the place out and check for any hidden dangers that could be a problem later.

Whoever had left had done so in a hurry, long ago. Dirty, moth eaten furniture was left behind, a sink full of maggot covered dishes that made the whole place smell rank sat untouched for months. The only sign of life was the imprints their sandaled feet had made in the otherwise undisturbed layer of dust. A fan hung motionless from the ceiling, strings of dirt seeming to drip like muddy icicles from each blade. Though not particularly big, it was also not particularly small. The living room was connected to an open kitchen and a small hallway led to two bedrooms and one bath.

One of the little rooms held a bassinet covered in flowers and butterflies. The walls were purple and 'It's a girl' was splashed across them in bright pink letters. Sakura had stopped for a moment to stare at this room with a sorrow he did not understand set in the lines of her face. She had entered and explored it, finding a hand made baby's blanket with a tiny white inscription on it, in the same style as their discovered headband. 'Lilly Anne' had been the little girl's name. They could only hope that the young woman had run away. Infant toys were scattered on the floor and a rocker sat alone and sad in the light of the window.

"I hope they're ok. I think this might have been our Selena woman. She must have known what happened." They strode to the next room, the air thick with the unspoken doubts. How could a woman and a child ever defend themselves against what Kakashi and Sakura were only just now understanding?

Sure enough, as soon as they entered the other room the saw a wedding picture of a happily smiling woman and her new husband. They were both waving at the camera, the perfectly healthy Ibachi carrying his bride away. There was no doubt that it was the same ninja. The face looked almost identical, save for the wounds. It was such a heartwarming picture, if the after story had been less terrible. Kakashi felt a sickness in the depths of his stomach. Such a desolate fate that looked just like his own. How would Sakura handle failure? If worse came to worse, how would Sakura move forward knowing her last remaining team mate had died?

It was hard to pull his mind from these thoughts as heavy dread lay like an anchor on his heart. She seemed too comfortable in her sleep for him to reach over and touch her for her to relinquish his chains. Yet the longer he held out, the more the despair seemed to seep into his bones. He felt the crescendo of negative emotion right before the breakthrough of visions. With stumbling steps he forced his way over to Sakura and held tightly onto her hand. It was almost instantaneously better. Hope filled his mind again and his own breath came so easy now.

In a way, she was his drug now. He was dependant on her just to feel normal.

She hadn't awoken at his vice like grip. Her lips were parted with her slow breaths, her eyes closed and still. The dirt of the house had smudged her face and her arms with black and her hair was tangled and mangled from a few days of not having a good shower or a brush. She was a complete mess. And still he preferred her to any other woman he had ever seen. He smiled as he pushed the tangles away from her eyes. He allowed briefly for his fingers to brush across her cheek and travel down her jaw line, pausing for just a moment on her chin before he reluctantly let his caress drop away to the floor. He held loosely onto her hand. He had always been strong for her. Always. What was he doing now?

"Sakura… I hope you forgive me." He raised to his knees, leaning just slightly over her sleeping form. She was far gone into the world of dreams. He may just get away with this… A laugh fell silently from his mouth. There was no such luck in his world. He would be getting her wrath for this little act of treason. The curiosity held him fast, however.

Mustering all his skills as one of Konoha's top jonins he hesitantly lowered his lips to her face. It started as a gentle kiss on the soft skin of her cheek. Followed, just as hesitantly by another touch of his lips to her jaw. Each was like a jewel in his heart, intensifying it's silver shining brightness in his dark world. He risked another to her chin. His courage was building as she lay still and quiet in slumber. Slowly clearing out his lungs in a shaky exhale, he brushed his lips against hers. Surprise made him recoil when she responded. It had only been a light pressure. Just a little push against his push. But it had made his world explode in fire. He tried again.

She responded more strongly this time. A small moan escaped his mouth and he pulled away. She could not be asleep. Young women do not kiss old men back in their sleep. Or any other time. Mismatched eyes squinted open at his student. Green blared brilliantly back at him. When exactly had she woke up? He cast his gaze away, staring intently at the wall beside him. Hello, dusty wall. Meet dead shinobi.

"So, how did you sleep?" The wall was strangely unresponsive to his question and he felt red burn its way up his face. He had luckily left the mask in place. "Any bad dreams?" He knew she would catch the double meaning behind the question. She had not been a terribly dull student, after all.

"No. I had a fairly good one. But I woke up because that dream shouldn't be pursued further, due to the taboo nature of it and the fact that we are in the middle of a very dangerous mission." A code that is not really a code is just avoidance. Which was entirely fine with him, he could handle avoiding the reality of the situation.

"Well, that's a shame. Sounds to me it could have been a really great dream. Should you ever wish to return to said dream, remember that the dream doesn't care what the people of Konoha think and the dream did notice the response that it received. So maybe, there is more to the dream than you realize at this time of imminent danger. Maybe the dream has some kind of pretty crazy feeling about the dreamer." His eyes had returned to hers and met her shocked expression with a steady gaze. Embarrassment ebbed away from him as he watched her bite her lip and her eyes flit away from his face. Her cheeks were a rosy pink and her hands fiddled around in her lap.

She had not truly regretted the kiss.

"Sakura." Dark blue fabric fell to pool around his neck. A straw man's smile is not the only one he wore. In the grey light of the hideout he leaned closer to her. She did not move, only shivered in her skin. "You know you're going to admit you feel the same way by the time this is over, don't you?" His lips brushed against her ear as he spoke and he felt her shiver again. He rubbed his palms over her arms in the pretense of warming her. She still did not move away.

"There is nothing to admit, Kakashi." For her suddenly frantic twisting hands, her voice was surprisingly calm. "Even _if _I did feel the same way, it wouldn't matter. Konoha is not the only thing that wouldn't allow it. Naruto and Tsunade, they're not just laws, they're our friends. And Kakashi, you're 14 years older than me and- Mmph" Fierce lips battled hers and she found she didn't know exactly what she had been saying. Her frenzied hands found their home in choppy silver hair and she felt herself press against him as he moved closer. Strong arms held her in place and she gasped as she was lifted just slightly off the ground and placed back in his lap. He pulled away and she nearly felt herself whimper.

"I don't think you really care about all that Sakura. Don't forget that I know you before you sit there and try to make up excuses." She watched thin fingers pull the edge of his mask over the bridge of his nose where it fit snuggly back in place. "Why not? For real."

"I don't feel the same way, Kakashi." Just under his bottom lashes was a very light freckle that held all of her attention. "It's just a kiss." She could nearly feel something break between them at her obvious lie. It was as though she had been whittling down the foundation of their relationship with every previous word until she snapped it in two with her grotesque inadmittance.

"I see. I don't believe you." His voice was softer, less confident than before. "I know you'll admit it, before this is over." There was a thud as he stood and dropped her ungracefully on her bottom. And with a silence as cold as ice he walked away.

He was leaving her, walking away from her, and she could say nothing. Every step away was a drop in his chances for survival. In every footprint he left in the dust, she knew he was less likely to return. He was willing to throw away everything in the middle of their life or death battle and he could not understand her hesitancy? Anger flared in her chest for only a moment.

How could he expect her to just confess her undying love for him? It was completely unfair of him to just tell her in so many words that he loved her and expect her to just drop everything and gleeful declare she felt the same way. They were in the middle of a dangerous, highly personal mission. He was consumed by visions of her dying, of everyone dying. If he did not stay in constant contact with her he seemed completely unable to control his fear filled non-realities. In a fight, he was useless. If he had to survive on his own, he would undoubtedly end up like all the other victims of this deadly genjutsu. Like her father. How could he expect her to admit she loved him when for all she knew he would die in moments? He could die, at any point.

He _could die_, at any point. It seemed to echo across her heart, and she felt her insides freeze.

He could _die_, at _any _point. Her Kakashi. Her Scarecrow. The man who she knew more than anyone else, who knew her more than anyone else. Every moment that he wasn't connected to her was like he was drowning in dread, and her own words- her own lies- had just sent him away. How could she have not realized the danger behind her denial? How had she sat there an let him leave? He had protected her so many times, nearly gave his life for her so many times…

It did not take long for her to fumble her way up to her feet and sprint across the room. The door was still open where Kakashi had left. The disturbance in the dirt on the floor is all that remained of his presence. Even when she rushed out the door and searched the houses one by one, taking hours into her morning to finish, she found no sign of him. He had vanished, and she had all but signed him over to the genjutsu. Why had he walked away? Why had she refused to admit what both of them had already known? Where was he?

She had doubled over the houses and spent the better part of the day searching through the forests before she gave up on him being in the deserted village. He wasn't just hiding from her. He was actually gone. She wouldn't know if Akio or Daisuke had found him. She wouldn't know if he was tied up dead somewhere. The image of his face, bloodied and eyeless scrambled across her mind before she found the strength to cast it out. She would search for him until she found him. She had to find him. He had hardly even been gone before she had ran after him. Surely he could not have been snatched away that fast…

She spent the night in Selena's home, looking at the photos that had been left behind and pieced together the life of the people she had never met. The little girl had been adorable with brown hair and eyes, a grin on her face in every snapshot. Ibachi and Selena had been a deeply in love couple. There were many pictures of Selena herself where she looked to be caught off guard staring into the distant sunset or cutting the vegetables for dinner. Ibachi was only actually in a few of the shots but his mark was on every single one. He must have at least dabbled in photography. Sakura could not help but wonder how he had managed to juggle the life of a ninja and a family with a child and a wife both comfortably at home. She would never get to know. Her one and only chance had just walked out the door forever.

Her sleep that night was filled with crying babies, running wives and the hurt stare of black and red. Several times she awoke through the night thinking that she had heard the creak of a door or the swoosh in the air of her favorite Copy Nin landing beside her. Gentle hands haunted her in her dreams as they ran across her face and held her in their grasp as he begged her for comfort from his fears. Guilt had taken her thoughts hostage and no matter what she did she couldn't seem to shake it. Regret plagued her. He didn't even know. She hadn't told him the truth, she hadn't told him anything worth hearing. The last thing she had ever said to him had been a lie.

It was long before dawn when she set out to search for him again. She pulsed chakra through the forest as she had headed towards the first village they had visited. No matter how many times she tried, she never felt the familiar presence of his cool chakra. Countless times she had turned around half expecting him to be standing behind her with his arms spread in a forgiving hug. And yet she continued to trudge through the forest alone. She continued towards the village long into the night and woke early to start again. She hadn't eaten or hardly slept since he disappeared. In almost half the time it had taken the two of them to leave she found herself standing back at the entrance beside Hayato's inn. She had tried to clean up before walking through but she knew it would be no good.

The inn and the people looked different in a way that she could just almost place her finger on. It was as though everyone had released a breath. The practiced lie seemed to only tense when she actually walked near someone. Otherwise she would never have guessed that just days before now she and Kakashi had been worried about finding deeper problems than their recent killer. The reason she was here had yet to come to her stall of fruits and vegetables. Sakura was almost sure that when she did show up, the old lady was going to be calmer and kinder than she had been before. All the improved moods and careful avoidances did not sit well in Sakura's stomach. She had never seen such a dramatic change in people in such a short period of time.

Finally, the old woman wobbled over to her stand and looked gleefully at the pink haired ninja in front of her. The smile vanished once she had really focused on who it was that sat in front of her. "Oh. Did you and your friend travel well? Did you find the headband's owner?" There was almost a mocking politeness hidden in the tone of her voice.

"We found the owner." Sakura pulled out a picture of Selena and the child, placing it carefully on an open space of the stand. "He had a child and a wife. They had been run out of their home, as were apparently many of the town."

The old woman did not look at the picture. Her eyes carefully looked anywhere but at Sakura and the evidence of a happily never after. "There are times when you must do what needs to be done to protect your home. Unfortunately, that particular group of people valued their rags more than their riches." Contempt dripped from each syllable. It was as if Selena and Lilly Anne had been just disposable dirty things. "You have to know when you are wrong for it to leave you, and strangely, no one around here ever seems to pass the test."

"Maybe they just have a different idea of what constitutes rags and what qualifies as riches." She tried to keep to the lingo they had started with, not revealing that she knew anything about the disappearings. "They didn't deserve to be run out of their homes."

"They weren't run out. They chose their fate. The disgusting little mongrels and their filth disease. You have to be good stock around here. We don't tolerate the bad apples." The nice old lady was gone. In her place was a grinning angry bat of a woman. Self righteous philosophy seemed to ooze from the wrinkled pores in streams. "You have to choose to let the filth disease in. I knew your friend had it, I knew when you came through lying about hiking in the woods. Get away from my stand, go back home and infect your own people." Sakura yelped as the lady waved her away with a grumpy humph.

So they had been right. There was something deeply wrong with this town and they had passed it by. Maybe if they had checked into it, Sakura would not be searching for Kakashi now. The longer he was gone the more sure she was that she would find him strung up like a puppet. She just hoped that the town is not all they had been right about. She kept up her habit of darting from place to place.

The inn towered over her like a ghost of a memory. The quaint little home that had greeted her when she had seen it the first time must have been eaten by this dark and lonely broken down building. The kind Hayato was nowhere to be found as she entered through the crooked doorframe into a gutted living room. There was no furniture and the windows had been broken out. The air was drafty and lank with the lack of ventilation. This was not the inn she had stayed at with Kakashi… Only a few of Hayato's possessions remained and suddenly Sakura understood what she had been missing.

Sitting on a shelf with other trophies was the Ibachi headband. Several other items lay scattered around. Rings and hats, gloves and bags. All things that had at one point belonged to some other poor victim. Hayato had not been the innocent old man they had thought he was. They had not thought anything of these unusual items when they had searched through the man's things the first time. There had been nothing to connect him. The only piece of evidence had been tucked safely away into Kakashi's pocket. Along with the orange book that now sat like a stone on the shelf. Among the other dull possessions, it stood out as starkly as a sore thumb. And Sakura felt her heart sink to the floor. She had to have been too late. Killers rarely take trophies if they were not yet successful in defeating their chosen target. It defeated the reason for taking it in memory of that kill. Anyone can steal from the living. It takes a true psychotic to steal from the dead. Their guts had told them that something had seemed off about this seemingly kind man with his generous offer to eat any of his food and stay as long as they wanted and oh, just don't touch the valuables.

She dropped to her knees to crawl across the floor to the little shelf where Kakashi's book sat like a broken affirmation of her deepest fears. Picking it up gingerly with two fingers, Sakura opened up the first few pages and saw the smutty descriptions he had so enjoyed reading. The pages were yellowed with wear and the spine was riddled with lines from being propped open. This had been such a part of him that she had despised. She never thought she would hold it so near her as she did now. She'd have to take it back to Tsunade to make sure she knew that Kakashi was gone. They would want to send out a search party to find the body. And Sakura would be getting justice paid for the loss of what was hers and only hers to have.

Without word to any of the villagers she dashed from the village, clearing the rooftops and crashing through the trees. She hadn't began to cry yet, but she could feel the adrenaline that held the heartache at bay starting to creep away. There seemed to be cotton in her lungs that made every breath a coughing mess. Her vision blurred and her teeth ground in her attempts to hold off until she got to Konoha. She didn't pause to rest until she stood at the gates of Konoha. She had run an entire night and day just to arrive here in this early morning and she found she simply couldn't continue on. Kurenai found her laying semi conscious on the leaf covered soil.

Whatever task she had been sent to went ignored as she dragged her limp bodied comrade to the hospital. Exhaustion and dehydration were just the tips of the iceberg of Sakura's problems. Shock kept her confined to her hospital bed for days while Tsunade tried to process everything Sakura had told them. Kakashi's book was being inspected by some of the highest ranking elite they had in the village, while Naruto was coming home from whatever adventure he had started. Someone was even trying to find Sasuke to let him know of his teacher's death. Sakura couldn't find it in herself to care about even half of this.

In her dreams Kakashi came home. He kissed her lips in her sleep, he argued with her over her feelings and told her she would have to admit to feeling them before everything was over. She would admit to everything and anything if it would just bring him back…

Tsunade had refused to let Sakura know anything they had found out. All Sakura knew was that there was no body found yet. She tried to keep that from giving her hope but she could not crush the small flicker of warmth in her heart that refused to believe he had really left them. As much as she argued with logic and memory and realism the part of her that had known all along that it had been more than a kiss felt that somewhere out there, Kakashi was alive and suffering. But alive. Breathing and fighting with all he could. It was like Kakashi to be the hardest one to die. Until they found a body, that smoldering ember would hold on to the slimmest chance.

_One month later…_

Naruto was no longer allowed to leave the village. He and Sakura had spoken only a handful of times since he had come home despite his many attempts to invite her out to eat ramen or to see Ino. Tsunade had put him under strict orders to watch his pink haired friend and make sure she did not do anything stupid. At first he had thought the order was disrespectful to Sakura's stability. Her teacher had just died, of course she was upset now, but Sakura would get over it. She had been through worse. She had lost worse. Yeah, they had all been close to Kakashi. But Sakura hadn't even really talked to him that much, not really…

But Naruto hadn't been around Sakura in years. He hadn't seen the way the two people he had left behind in Konoha had grown closer in his absence, how they had become an unbeatable team and had built unbreakable bonds. The little girl he had waved goodbye had learned many things, and not all of those things had been from Tsunade. She had become a fully grown woman with an understanding of the pain Kakashi suffered that no others held. He had placed trust in her that he had abhorrently refused to place in anyone else. Guilt told her everyday how she had repaid that trust with the most painful of all lies.

Tears fell silently down her face every day when she awoke from another nightmare of his back disappearing into darkness. She needed closure. She needed peace. She needed justice for the wolf in sheep's clothing who had stolen her treasure. She needed so many things. She needed her scarecrow.

Not only had Tsunade forbidden Naruto from leaving the village in her attempt to protect Sakura from herself, she had given strict orders that Sakura was not allowed on missions or any knowledge to do with the Hatake case. She didn't want to see another of her prized ninja running off on a death and despair revenge massacre. There simply wasn't enough knowledge or evidence to show what had truly happened to their Copy Nin and Sakura's story sounded so far fetched. A vanishing old man, two men that no one had ever heard of, a genjutsu that attacked like a disease, an old lady that seemed entirely harmless. A Kakashi that trembled in fear without some kind of physical anchor. It was so unlike Kakashi, so far from anything that sounded reasonable. Without someone's body none of it could be confirmed or dismissed. As much as the Hokage regretted having to do it, she couldn't justify letting a very angry weapon loose on a village that may be innocent.

Sakura had only gotten more quiet and more withdrawn as time went by. She had gotten thinner and paler as days would go flying away in a blur without her eating. Training had become an almost endless past time when she wasn't working at the hospital. Every door that opened brought the desperate light of hope to her eyes before she saw it was not him coming in to visit her. Her windows glowed yellow long after all the rest of Konoha slept and Naruto knew she sat late into the night and stared into the stars waiting for him to come crashing through for healing.

No one had been able to find Sasuke to tell him the news, though no one had tried all that hard. He had not been back in so long that most assumed he wouldn't really care. Besides, the news of the Hatake's death had spread like wildfire across the countries. Those that respected him mourned and those that despised him rejoiced but everyone had a reaction. If Sasuke had not heard by now the boy had to be dead as well. If he wanted to show up in Konoha to pay his respects, he would. If there was anything in Sasuke that respected anyone he would be back. Kakashi had treated him for years like his own son.

Everyone moved on from the silver haired ninja's absence quickly. He had not made himself a prominent member of any of the social circles. The few that had been close to him had lingered in their sorrow but only Sakura seemed truly stuck in it. Only one seemed to understand and it was during that time when Kurenai had started her weekly visits with food and a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder before she would be gone to care for her little one. Sakura knew why Kurenai was such a kindred spirit. She had opened and read those letters her father had written many times. There was a love there that the man's daughter had connected with on more planes than she had even known. Two kunoichi of Konoha had lost their loves to this 'filth disease' and neither were allowed to exact any form of punishment or even to properly grieve.

After a while Tsunade had stopped calling Sakura to her office for the check ups and Shizune had stopped asking if there was anything she needed. Naruto gave up on his offers to eat, to see a movie, to do anything that resembled living. The other nurses had stopped giving her piteous looks as she walked down the halls and her patients had stopped patting her hand reassuringly when she seemed a little more distant. She knew everyone was waiting for her to get over it. And she resented each and everyone on of them for it. How could they not see that she was suffering more than the loss of her teacher? How could they not see she suffered the lost of her best friend, of the only man she had ever trusted, of a secret kiss in a dirty home?

_Three months missing…_

There was still not a body found and people were starting to whisper that he may have escaped. The story had been so strange from the Haruno girl. Maybe it had been exaggerated, maybe he was alive somewhere. Surely no one could hide a body that easily, that quickly, that securely. And he was the Great Copy Nin of Konoha after all, master of 1000 jutsus and valiant defender of Konoha since he was a child. Sakura could not squash the dully burning ember of barely acknowledged wishes that he was alive somewhere.

By now she half wished he was dead. With the disease spreading as rapidly as it had been when he left her he'd be beyond mad by now. He'd have suffered through the deaths of his family and his friends over and over again, his broken mind grumbling it's accusations against him endlessly.

She had gone on a few lunches and dinners with Kurenai where she had learned about her father.

He had died right before she had met Asuma. Sakura's mother had just found out about the affair when he'd gone out on the mission to catch this loathsome killer. The distraught woman had thrown all his things away, convinced that she would be better off without him. Then the news had come and the combined hurt of knowing he had not loved her when he died and that he had died so gruesomely had caused her to recluse inside herself. The overprotection and anger that had ruled the household from that point on had not been at all what her father would have wanted. Had he really lived and known Sakura, she was sure they would have been the best of friends and the closest of all daughters and fathers.

According to Kurenai he had been a laid back man, trying hard not to displease anybody. He had wanted all those he loved to know they were loved and cherished. He was slow to anger and quick to be thankful for every little thing he had. Worry was something that did not exist in his world. Everything about him had been everything her mother had not been. His marriage to her young mother had been happy at first and slowly turned sour as the differences in their personalities started to pick apart what had made them click. He wouldn't leave because he loved his pink haired little daughter too much and he had told Kurenai as much. In the end, it had made no difference to her and they had continued to have their secret relationship. From what Sakura had told her of the disease that Kakashi had contracted from the genjutsu, Kurenai guessed that it had been the destruction of his family that had thrown Haruno over the edge of insanity. His nightmare was a reality, so there was no where for him to escape to.

It had been on the night of one of those dinners that Sakura had come home to find her door open and her light own. Her heart pounded in her throat as she walked slowly to the door with a kunai held in front of her. He could not be home after all these months… Not and just waltzed into her apartment like he had so many times before to be healed.

She stepped as quickly and quietly pass the wooden frame and into the light as she could.

She did not see silver hair or mismatched smiling eyes. She did not see a straw man's smile or a battered and broken body in desperate need of repair. What she did see was just as startling, though not nearly as welcoming…


	7. Superwoman

_They will never be the same, a fire in a flask to keep us warm…_

Blood red had greeted her and she felt her entire body tense in a fighting reflex. Her anger boiled hot under her skin and she knew it was the most she had felt of anything in a long time. The Uchiha had no place in her home. He seemed to know this. Uncomfortable silence engulfed them as she edged closer to her door. If he came to respect Kakashi's… disappearance, then he could find someone less traumatized. Her shoulders were much too crowded with undiluted despair to allow his head any space to cry on them.

"Why do you think I'm here, Sakura?" Cold, lifeless. As always.

"I don't know, or really give a damn. Did you hear about Kakashi?" Rage growled out at him between every word. "Go talk to Naruto about it. He'd be more than delighted to see you after… How long had it been now? Three years? Four?"

"Somewhere in between I think. But I'm not here to see Naruto. I have heard about Kakashi's supposed death, yes. That little blossoming lie. He's alive Sakura." The air left her lungs and suddenly her world was spinning. A shield of anger that had guarded her heart shattered as she desperately tried to believe his claim.

"How do you know?" She could barely force the question from her mouth. It was only a lifetime of self control that held her eyes to his face instead of searching for a form she knew was not present.

"I saw him. He's not in good shape, but he's calling for you. Endlessly." The cold and lifeless was traced with just a tinge of hurt. "I finally decided to come get you for him. It took me a while to get here, and I had to shake a couple of followers, but I can take you to where he is."

"In return for what?" She was no fool. This act of kindness would not be from the goodness of his heart. That barely pumping organ was much too black and abysmal for such a thing.

"That when we get there, you find a cure." And she knew instantly that he had caught it. This filth disease.

"How are you still walking? It tore Kakashi apart in just days." She felt the quiver in her voice. She may hate him, but she still loved her old team mate in a completely 'I will kill you right now' way. The two opposing emotions seemed harmonious in her heart.

"I have two sharingan. He has one. It is easy to fight at the moment, but I'm under no illusion that it's not advancing. I can tell it's getting stronger." He paused, considering his next miniscule confession. "It's not as though there are not plenty of resources for it to pull from." His regrets. His fears. A cesspool of weapons for the grotesque imagery that the genjutsu threw sporadically into his consciousness.

"Have you found out anything else about it? Where is Kakashi?" The kunai embedded itself in the wall as she started gathering all her things for the trip. "If there is anything you know, it's probably more than what Tsunade has told me." She did not even consider for a moment not accompanying him. This day had been begging for her assistance long before he showed up at the door. The knowledge that she would be retrieving Kakashi in some way, whether in a body bag or barely breathing over her shoulder, had rested with her from the moment they announced they had yet to find a body just a week after he had gone missing.

"I don't know anything except that if we don't hurry there, Kakashi won't make it. He's barely hanging on to his sanity as it is. I don't know how he does it. He's being held in a small cavern about two weeks distance. If we hurry we may be able to cut it down to a week and a half. Maybe." He shuddered and she recognized the lost look before he snapped back into reality. Despite all the distaste she had for him she could not help but feel a feather light concern drop into her heart. If he was anything like his instructor had been, then every moment was a like his solidity was a dwindling thread and he only hardly existed out of stubborness.

"Let me try something. It helped Kakashi." She walked up to him and pressed her palm firmly into his arm, waiting to see the look of peace descend upon his tensed features. It did not. "Anything?" The distant and aggravated expression answered her question even before she asked it.

"What exactly are you doing? It's not helpful." The arm under her hand jerked away as if scalded. Maybe he had really been hoping it would help, maybe he had expected her to immediately know the cure. He had always expected so many impossible things from her.

"Sorry. It helped keep Kakashi grounded if I was touching him." Why did it not work with Sasuke?

"Well, it probably has to do with the fact that the real you has a pulse." This did not answer her question, but she let it slide. Sasuke was never really open when he graced the world with his input anyway. She doubted she could get anything more concrete from him.

She had finished packing up her most lightweight shinobi gear and her favorite weapons before an unappealing thought occurred to her. The killer they were up against specialized in causing extremely graphic hallucinations that tore apart a person's sanity. How likely was it really that months after Kakashi was missing Sasuke showed up to suddenly restore him to her? Sasuke, the man from her nightmares and regrets? It could be a trap. He could be something she only thought she saw. There was a possibility that she had picked up the genjutsu from Kakashi's book. The more she thought about it, the more likely it was that Kakashi had gotten his infection from the headband. It seemed the most personal item on the shinobi at the time that they found him and the killer had definitely found the most personal thing of Kakashi's. She had never even touched the band until Kakashi had already gone missing. There was only one way to make sure.

"Sasuke, prove to me you're not a hallucination. I need to know I'm not falling headfirst into a trap." She searched his face for a change, for something that didn't match exactly what she knew his darkened features to look like. He looked the same as always, handsome as an artist's statue and angry as the eye of a hurricane. His eyes flashed with opposing thoughts and he moved towards her. Unsure feet backed away from him as she instinctively feared her request. There were few ways to prove that one actually existed. Most of them caused a considerable amount of pain to the doubter.

In what felt like only a breath, she knew he was not any less real than the rest of the world around her. His mouth was on hers, his hands trying to pull her closer. She struggled against his possessive hold, feeling his lips pressed persistently against hers in a rough kiss. It was just as cold and lifeless as his voice. It did not bring a surge of fire to alight her frazzled nerves. It did not bring love or passion bubbling up in her bosom or send butterflies to flutter in her stomach like Kakashi's had. It was a kiss of a desperate man trying to grab hold of the only raft in the sea. Anger brought her teeth clashing together on his lip as she shoved him away. Blood dribbled through the hole she had bitten and his scowl left her feeling deeply satisfied. He had no right to kiss her like that. The fact that she made it so obvious seemed to set off some kind of self-righteous anger in the Uchiha.

"Why is it acceptable for Kakashi to be dark and riddled with mistakes? Why not me?" His jealousy singed her skin in his fiery glare. "Why is it that _he_ gets to hold you without even an utterance of refusal while you swore your undying love to _me _and I don't even get to glance at you from the sidelines?" She could feel the built up resentment climbing in her veins, replacing her blood in it's hurry to overtake her rational thought. "Why does the _Scarecrow, _the shallow semblance of a man, get to have something as bright as you? Do you even know who he is Sakura? Our teacher?" His voice sneered insults at her like pointed arrows.

"I do, Sasuke. You see, while **you**," Each word was a hiss as she barely held her tempered tongue in check, "were **gone **trying to get revenge and being an overall **jerk**, he was here." A small shove sent him stumbling back. "While **you **were busy refusing to acknowledge me even as a kunoichi, he was helping me train and watching me get better and better everyday." Another push and the glint of anger shifted to shock. "While **you **were running like a small, scared little child, Kakashi was becoming **my **hero, my **friend**. Every day. Isn't revenge nice? I hope the price was worth it." He had wide, disbelieving eyes. She had never brought up his mistakes so boldly. "Now you are going to help me find him, and you are going to help me save him, and then I am going to heal you, and you are going to disappear forever." With a final shove, she swung her pack over her shoulder and headed out the door. She would have bothered to leave a note, but she knew they would try to stop her. It was not a risk she was willing to take. They may still know where she was heading, but they would not have any idea where she would end up. Sasuke would have made sure no one saw him and she knew that as long as only her guide knew where they were going that there was almost no way they would find out.

Sasuke did not mention her outburst as he followed her out the door. They walked silently to the Konoha gates and crossed just as noiselessly into the shadowed forest. The sliver of a moon did not shed much light onto their path. More than once Sakura wondered if he was leading her in a circle. They seemed to be moving at a snail's pace as he checked every few minutes for some kind of mark on the ground or the trees before either retracing his steps or going further ahead. Each passing hour that they spent slowly fumbling through the leaves brought more and more horrendous images of Kakashi to her mind. How broken could he be by now? How had the killer not managed to kill him? Even Kakashi could only handle so much. What if they were too late?

"How was he when you left him?" Even as she tried to hide it, she knew the worry was evident in the shaking hesitancy of her question.

"He was alive, coherent. He screams a lot, he gazes a lot, but he's mostly ok when he comes back. He hasn't lost reality yet. There's still hope." The lazy tone did nothing to mask the understanding in his words. As always, he knew her like the back of his hand, gathering every bit of hidden longing behind her carefully vague questions. How could he know so much about her and yet not know anything?

"What do you mean gazes a lot?"

"It's what we call the visions. There's always the same look. We know when the other passes into them because they look distant and terrified. There's not much we can do, but it helps us to know that we don't suffer alone." Pale, thin fingers brushed aside fallen leaves as he avoided her stare. He seemed reluctant to speak. "Despite what I said earlier, Sakura, I do want Kakashi to be better. Strangely, he is the closest thing to family I've ever had." There was a pause and she could see him deliberating on whether or not to voice his next question. "Does he really make you happy?" Ruby eyes begged for her to say no.

"I don't know, Sasuke. I never gave him the chance. But I know that all this time without him, I have been empty. Somewhere, I'm not whole without Kakashi." Years of taking him for granted fell heavily down on her shoulders as she remembered her refusal before he had disappeared from her life. What if she had just said yes?

They continued in silence for a few more hours before he stopped abruptly and said that they had to set up camp before it got too late. That they would need the rest. She had insisted on continuing on at first, stubbornly refusing to prepare the fire or set up a watch area. Only when Sasuke reminded her that it would do no good to drag themselves into Kakashi's prison if they were just going to collapse and get captured due to exhaustion had she grudgingly laid down and let Sasuke take the first watch. It was a fruitless action. She lay through hours of her down time staring into the distant stars and wondering about the struggles of her not teacher.

A bitter taste coated the back of her throat as she imagined Kakashi trying to rest beyond the sickening fears and haunting he was receiving. She could imagine the dark circles marring his pale skin as he twisted and struggled in his agonizing sleep. More than once she guessed at the nature of his terror. He had seemed to imply that she was the leading role in every horrific scene. Sasuke had only supported this theory with his entirely too vague comments about how he called out her name and how her touch helped him because she was alive. Why? There had to be more important people than her, for her to be the star of his personal horrors. Rin and Obito had been around long before she was. They had to be more important, the first people he had ever allowed himself to trust. And then there was Naruto and Sasuke who had always been just as prominent as she had been, if not, then more so. And yet, he called out her name before all others. Endlessly, as Sasuke had said. Was she a source of regret for him? Was she a darkened sense of unease that he could never outrun?

Sometime into the night she must have closed her eyes and dozed into a dissatisfying slumber. Scarlet blushing clouds awoke her with sunlight filtering through the green trees. For her first sleepy moments she still felt Kakashi's fingers holding hers in a light and loving caress before her dream faded into reality. The beauty of the morning did nothing to better her mood as she wrestled her desire to lay and cry. Bitter disappointed replaced the relieved peace of her slow thinking heart while she cleared up camp and headed out with her silent leader into the shadows. He had returned to his routine checking of the leaves and the trees and the marks in the ground whilst entirely ignoring her. The breeze was cool and she found her self pushing through her thoughts again to distract herself from the memory of Kakashi's face, his graceful steps, his steady stare, his strong arms and his devilish smile.

Nothing wanted to grab her attention. Nothing wanted to beguile her thoughts or spare her the deep longing ache in her heart for the return of her silver haired Straw man. The obsidian shining head in front of her may as well have disappeared. The dully glowing ember had slowly built itself up to a flickering flame of hope and it seemed to only torture her as it continued to grow. There were so many possibilities for this to go wrong. What if she couldn't cure him? What if he was already gone when they showed back up? What if she died trying to defeat his killer? How was she supposed to fight someone she knew nothing about? How was she going to keep from contracting this filth disease herself? Anything could have the genjutsu attached to it. Despite all the disheartening thoughts facing through her mind as she tried to create a new plan her fluttering heart thought nothing of it. Even after her fourth plan had been cruelly torn down and remodeled she felt the _thump-thump _of anticipation in her chest.

She was a kunoichi before a medic, before a citizen, before a student. She was Kakashi's before she was a kunoichi. She could only hope that this would be enough.

A cleared throat dragged her back to the current situation of walking for miles and miles through entirely unchanging terrain. A soft sound slithered through the air and into her ears before she realized that the Uchiha was talking to her.

"We will have only a limited window of time to enter into their hideout. The two guards that I had to lose probably reported to the head man that I seemed to have a very specific destination so they may assume that I've gone for reinforcements. I don't know if they'll be expecting a lot or a little, but they'll almost certainly have heightened their security." The thin frame stopped again to check the surroundings for some unknown indication that they were stumbling down the right path.

"I have fought the Akio and Daisuke pair before. Are there more?" She dubiously searched the foliage for his mysterious sign and saw nothing.

"A few. It appears that there are just a small group of cackling supporters of this disease. They think it will cleanse out the evil from their ranks. It doesn't occur to them that infecting innocent people with nightmares and screaming terrors that pull apart their very minds may qualify as evil. To them people are…" He seemed to be searching for a word that didn't leave him feeling hypocritical.

"Rags. To be thrown away once they've become dirtied by the harsh realities of life." The woman's accusations danced across her thoughts as she remembered her flight from the little village to Konoha. Had she searched harder before dashing off to the unhelpful Hokage would she have found Kakashi back then?

"Yes. Rags." And he was silent once more. They had started making quicker progress as Sasuke had to stop less often to check their way. It appeared that the closer they go to their destination, the more sure he became of each step.

Darkness had long since fell when he refused to continue once more. It was her turn for watch and she was grateful. Another night of struggling to rest seemed more trouble than it was worth. A loud beating in her chest proclaimed her preference to stare into the dying fire and think of things she could not bear to dream. Kakashi had always defied death. He could hold on for her. He would. Had he not already held on for months?

The next few days passed with no significance. They walked in silence, they slept in silence, and neither of them mentioned the ominous errand ahead. Sasuke continued to be as distant as ever, growing more so each day. She could tell that the jutsu was slowly wearing down the sharingan. Soon he would be no better than her previous traveler had been and this time there was no magical solution to beat back the spidery webs of his mind. Medic instincts begged to heal those quickly failing eyes, but a mixture of pride and panic kept her from asking. He would have to come to her for help this time.

They had been trudging quietly through the trees for a good week before they started to notice a change in the terrain. The earth was becoming more rock and less soil as the timber thinned and they lost their cover. She could see the edge of a steeply dropping cliff with an equally steep makeshift trail jutting out dangerously from the side. Had she not been searching specifically for such a trail she would have entirely missed it. It descended down into a narrow break in the cliff's side. She knew it was too early for this to be the cavern where her prize lay in waiting but the knowledge did not slow her pulse. The climb down the rocks would be easy. How could it take half a week to crawl through a hole in the wall? It seemed… unlikely.

"Sasuke, is that where we're headed?" She really did not see how they could not be. There was no where else for them to go. At his nod, she knew something had to be up. "It can't take a half week to crawl through that niche. I don't know how it could have taken you a week.

"Do you believe me when I say I've walked this before?" Irritation was evident in every word.

If she did not believe him then it would be fairly pointless for her to be standing here. "Yes. I just don't understand." There could be tunnels beneath the surface, but somehow she did not see this less than majestic formation holding something so intricate. The opening was just barely a space large enough for them to shove their fragile bodies through one at a time and the slice in the earth was only a shallow one.

It took only a couple of hours for them to climb down to level ground. The glare of the sun seemed intensified in this crevice of hell. Clay turned every layer of their surroundings a hundred different shades of rust and seemed to cling to their clothes and hair. Like little red demons it wanted to clog each individual pore with muck to slow them down and bring the heat like a blanket to suffocate the oxygen from their fragile skin. A blushing strand of hair was tucked carelessly away as Sakura trudged through the erosion of soil and rock to finally stand in front of the cracked surface that they were to plunge so recklessly through . The guards that were supposed to be blocking their entrance were missing and Sakura felt her muscles lax in midst of the anticlimactic development.

"Where are they?" She glanced around and saw that Sasuke had gone. She stood alone in this little corner of an oven. "Sasuke?" It took her only a one more run over to realize that she had met her opponent. Though she could not see him, she could see the waves of the genjutsu like heat in a desert bouncing tremulously from the ground. It was only a weak one, but she knew she need to hurriedly find the exit.

"Come out, come out wherever you are. Cats don't trap mice if they won't play." Chiding, childish words echoed through the empty space around her. It was best to draw her offender out. Defensive before offensive.

"Such a pretty little mouse I have found, too." True enough to the characterization she had labeled him with, he had prowled from the black entrance with a lazy, almost insulting, swagger. "I never knew that you were the one he calls Sakura." He had thin, skeletal fingers that reached into her hair and pulled it forward. The action caused no pain, only disgust as he smelled the hand like it was a delightful treat. "You do know what we do with mice after we play, don't you little petal princess?" She shuddered. It was a name that had been given to her long ago and the sound of it from grotesque tongue made her gag.

"Yes." Any devout cat owner knew that cat's only toy with their dinner for so long before hunger overrode curiosity and they devoured their victim whole.

"Tell me, so I know for sure. I want you to speak the fate of your friends." Nearly reptilian pupils dilated in his excitement at seeing her cringe.

"You eat them." Sure enough he purred with delight.

"You're wrong. I don't fear you." The strengthening in the genjutsu at her hammering pulse had confirmed her suspicions. The only way to dispel it was to release its hold on her thoughts. It shivered again at her words, but solidified almost immediately.

"You have to mean it, child, for it to be true. You may not fear me yet, but you fear what I have done to your Scarecrow." The words dripped like venom and she had a hard time distinguishing if he was more like a cat or a snake.

"He is not a scarecrow." Everyone kept calling him that. And maybe his name did indeed translate to scarecrow. Yet, she could not help but feel that there was more to a person than their given name. After all, few would compare her personality to the serene sakura tree. At her declaration the walls of her illusion seemed to tremble violently. This time it did not rebuild, but continued to waver as though she were looking through a constantly rippling pool of molten glass. "Kakashi may be many different kinds of distant, but he is so much more than a man of straw to defend an empty field." The more she talked about Kakashi the more she felt her defense strengthen. The man in front of her seemed to grow increasingly human in appearance by the second.

"You think he has withstood to protect you? Hardly. He has been begging you to come into harms way for months now." This man had obviously no understanding of the teacher she had grown to know. Any fool who dared claim that the Copy Nin ever did anything to harm those he was close to had never seen the man behind the figurative mask.

The ninja who at first had seemed so intimidating now stood in front of her as nothing more than a scrawny runt with dark hair and freckles. She felt like Dorothy unveiling the Wizard of Oz and finding only a sniveling conman.

"Move, rat, or I will show you what cats really look like." The theatrical start to their conversation had her feeling showy. It was not helped along by her growing restlessness at her inability to get to Kakashi until after this man moved out of their way. A quick check to her right confirmed that Sasuke still stood to her right where he had most likely never left.

"Always the one for games, aren't we sweetheart?" With a flash he was behind them, the shining steel of a wire speeding towards her arms to break onto rock when she leapt out of the way. She had barely managed to dodge another such attack when Sasuke shove her haphazardly to the ground. One of the wires that had been attached to a thin blade was for only a brief moment deeply embedded into her partner's leg before it was yanked mercilessly back. The hole it left was much wider than the needle that had resided so recently in his flesh and it took her a moment to figure out why.

Horror flooded her instincts as she saw the hooks that had sprung from the thin weapon whir through the air back towards their owner. He was a more dangerous ninja than they had originally considered. With the wires dancing to his whims he was no longer scrawny but lean, faint muscled outlines rippling across a thin frame as he tried time and time again to catch them in his threads. More than once Sakura felt blood dribble down her sides as she moved just a little too slow. If they could only get in close, he would be an easy target. Nothing about his style protected his core at all. Every attempt to move towards him was thwarted by a shower of glistening, cutting wire. Red that was not dust or clay spurted in lines across the coarse ground to leave an almost geometrical design that ended pointedly at their dark haired attacker.

Fed up with dodging and running, Sakura rushed him. Several new cuts stung and a dime sized chunk was pulled painfully from her calf but she found herself close enough to actually deal a blow. For only a moment the thought to flee reflected brightly in those sardonic eyes before she filled her fist full of chakra and knocked him out cold to the floor. Steel that had flown so easily now clattered with a dejected clunk and was but harmless kitten's yarn splayed around them.

Their entrance, at least was cleared. Sasuke led the way in, preceding her into the cave. Surprise was evident on his face but he spoke no words of acknowledgement. Luckily, she had not truly ever expected any.

The instant they stepped into the tiny, damp enclave, Sakura heard it.

It was a moaning. Far off and indistinct, she almost dismissed it as a trick of her eager mind to see him again. Echoes upon echoes quickly convinced her that it was no trick. Kakashi was ahead of them, suffering and weak, but alive. There was no way to know what state they would find him in now, but as long as his muffled sounds bounced off the cavern walls, it let her know without a doubt he was alive and well. She was sure she could heal any wound and beat any villain to make sure he kept breathing. Every distant cry made her feel like Superwoman.

Sasuke pushed through the narrow pathway ahead of them, signaling to her with the hand behind his back that it was safe every few feet. She could see nothing but the dark fabric of his shirt and the blood spots that dripped occasionally from his wounds. They had not been too severe and so she had not really worried about healing them at the time. Now, she wondered if that had been a mistake. Any weakness from this point forward would be a step closer to defeat. Neither Sasuke nor Kakashi could afford a negative outcome to this mission. The continuing sounds of lament were proof enough to her that somehow, this situation was ending with her. There would not be another Ibachi, another Selena, or another unfortunate Lilly Anne. From this point forward, the 'filth disease' was going to be buried in this newly discovered house of hell.

Before long they found a break in their narrow passageway and were able to comfortably walk beside each other. The walls seemed to hold more structure with more carved passageways and greater support than a natural formation. She felt a shudder at Sasuke's growing unease beside her casting off waves of frightened chakra. He was searching for their next opponent, possibly already aware of the danger lurking around their next bend. Yet their consistent walking as well as the continuing absence of any adversity started to make Sakura paranoid as well. How long were they going to wait until they attacked again?

At some point Sasuke stopped and said they would have to rest. Her internal clock had quit working hours ago as the insistent pain filled moaning beckoned her to continue at all costs. It took every bit of self control for her to agree and sit with him in the watery floor. It was her turn to rest. Each passing second that she kept her eyes closed only seemed to amplify the sound of Kakashi's torture. Was it even possible for her to go for days without losing her mind to that sorrowful symphony? Sleep would certainly not be any more forthcoming.

Her writhing restless body quickly grew warm in the stale unventilated air of their hole. Her emerald eyes had never closed for more than a breath before they flew open to hear the particularly agonizing scream that cut across her heart. She could hardly breath through the pain of it. Another long, rasping scream reached her ears and it took her only a moment to realize that the reason she could not breathe was not from empathy but from the pain tearing at her own chest. Her skin seemed to be on fire and the longer she tried to cringe away from the sensation the more it seemed to seep into her pores. A sickly green haze covered her vision like a blanket. Stinging heat had tears prickling at her ducts to slide hotly down her cheeks. What was this grinding burn? She tried to wrench her scorched body around to see Sasuke but saw only a pair of blankly staring red eyes. He was gazing while she was lost. And the guttural screams were hers.

Another scream shook her before she felt the shadow creep over her. A stout, gruff persona stood above her with a leering focus on the white of her retinas bulging from a skull that felt as though it were desperately trying to explode. The pain had to be coming from the mist that had gathered around their huddled space. It seemed to grab hold of her skin with scalding fingers before fleeing to her veins through her open wounds. Her previous attacker had left plenty of cracks for it to ambush and overtake. The unsuspecting and undefended woman was trying desperately to find a way out of the situation without the aid of her guide. How could she fight when she could not hardly bring herself to stand? Sakura had not been in a situation where she felt so hopeless since she was a genin. How had they allowed an enemy to sneak up in such a noticable attack? Her previous feeling of determined strength seemed to seep away from her frail flailing form to leave her feeling almost untrained and fresh from the academy against their unnamed adversary.

Suddenly, she did not feel so much like Superwoman.


	8. Flippant Phrases

I'm sorry the update took so long. It was particularly hard to write all the descriptive scenes and I was so ready for the two to meet again. It is so hard to write a KakaSaku when the two aren't even together. I am including quite a bit of Sasuke in this fan fiction due to the fact that I tend to hate on him a lot right now. That will all but understood later. This story has much, much deeper implications that you lovely readers recognize yet!

Alas, I have been so busy that it nearly slipped my mind to mention my dear friend Prescipto13. This amazing reviewer has managed to review every chapter, even if they have to send me a message to do so because FF is slightly cruel to me and won't let certain people review. I want to give a hearty thanks and let you know that this chapter is for you. Enjoy now!

_Can't I come in, grab thy hand, and walk through…_

Somehow through the haze of her pain filled thoughts she found a memory. It was a lesson Kakashi had taken time out to teach them all, even her, as genin. Only he, out of all the team leaders, found it important to teach fresh faced students that torture was and would always be a great and horrible tool used against them. Only he realized that no matter what age a ninja is there will always be those that are evil enough to use whatever means necessary to extract what they need before disposing of their victim. The techniques he had taught then had always been simple and quick, to be built on over time until it was strong enough to withstand almost any attack. He had told them in three simple rules how to at least hold out through the agony.

Rule one, remember that there is always a reason that you are here. Whether this situation has to do with saving Konoha, getting the capital, or protecting innocence, there is always a reason for the experience. Take hold of that reason and allow it to fuel resistance. Picture it clearly and fully in the mind's eye until it is all that can be distinctly thought of. This not only refocuses the victim but also protects any critical information from being lost should the attacker attempt to use chakra techniques to rifle through thoughts.

With all the clarity she could muster she pictured Kakashi's unmasked face. The pain did not fade but the determination in her strengthened. Previously immobilized elbows pushed her up just barely off the ground.

Rule two, remember that there are always consequences to failure. If, for whatever reason, a ninja does not succeed then someone, somewhere, is more than likely going to die. Even if that person is only the ninja themselves, there is still a death. The people that were being protected by the endurance or silence of their guardian are now vulnerable and weakened. This is entirely the fault of the failed victim. Any condolences should be ignored. If the outcome could have been avoided by success then blame is entirely yours.

And Sakura was sure she could not handle Kakashi's death on her conscience. Those eyes that had imploringly searched hers for hope and for comfort would not go blank as the result of her inexperience and weakness. This man whom she had always known more deeply than any other and yet hardly seen was going to be saved whether it was by her or Tsunade or some other stronger ninja. Putrid green smoke would not be their downfall.

Rule three, remember that though all forms of torture are difficult, none of them are unbeatable. There is always going to be some way to escape the situation. Every action creates a reaction. A thousand possible reactions are at your disposal, awaiting only your hand to pick them from the bucket. Carefully and clearly pick the one that seems the most likely to get you the farthest. Every plan has a loophole and every technique has a flaw. See underneath the underneath.

Suddenly, Sakura did. Though her body still screamed in pain she could see clearly the source of their problems. Sasuke had awoken from his reverie to barely fight the pain and was now halfheartedly engaging the stout man in combat. She could see that they were being toyed with. Yet, if she could just turn off this film around them she knew they could easily win. They were two of the best, both trained by sannin. If they could not defeat this overweight executioner then they did not deserve their titles. The solution lay directly in front of her. At equal intervals in the rock wall were barely noticeable holes that poured the smoke out in continuous streams. If she could just find a way to channel her chakra through in a wave powerful enough to crush them, she would be freed of her paralyzing discomfort.

With hardly enough concentration to move her arms any further back she had no idea how she was going to be able to crush the supply lines of poison. Her chakra only moved in thin trickles of weak power. Try as she might it always dissipated before reaching the wall opposite her. Silver shining hair and kaleidoscope eyes swam clearly in her thoughts as she worked up the will to physically drag herself the few feet to lean against the rough and damp surface. She could almost feel the pressure of the gas against her back, her wounds screaming in protest as it seeped directly into her pores now. Consistently swallowing her cries of pain was nearly impossible. Yet subtlety was so vitally important that she found herself letting only a hiss of heated displeasure. Now, however, it was only her lower body getting swallowed whole. Breathing was much easier and her mind was already clearing.

Chakra still was not forthcoming, but she could pull strands that were at least powerful enough to break the pipes of poison with a soft pop one at a time. It wasn't until she got down to the final two closest to her that Sasuke's opponent seemed to realize the disappearing vapor around him. Almost troll like features greeted her with an unhappy grunt. His barrel like arms swung with an unexpected grace to grip her throat and lift her off the ground. In her weakened state she could only stare helplessly at him and hoped that Sasuke jumped in to save her. A crack gave testament to the danger she was in as she was slammed against the wall that had previously been the source of horrors. The sausage like fingers around her neck stiffened in a stranglehold. Stars had just began to dance in front of her eyes as her world turned slowly black before a very unexpected blade greeted her eyes with glistening red. A thin, spreading scarlet mark was all that connected in her mind the blade with the loosened hand and her clumsy fall to the ground. A muffled thunk reached her ears as though she had been dropped into a pool of water. She knew she was losing consciousness and there was little she could do to stop it. Ghostly arms picked her up and red eyes floated before her as she finally dropped away.

In her impromptu slumber there was a funeral. Everyone around her was bored and fidgety as they all waited impatiently to go home. She was the only one that was crying and begging to know what had happened. It was almost as though she was invisible to those around her. Her demands for explanation went entirely disregarded until she was the only one sitting at the cenotaph. There were many names and she could hardly even imagine the one that she knew was there. It was carved at the very end, in cramped and small writing as though he had done it himself. The world seemed so empty without him there. Her eternity seemed to flow by in a lonely blur as she sat intently staring at his name and wishing beyond every other desire in her heart that he would pop around the corner and ruffle her hair around in the way she entirely and desperately hated.

She had no idea how long had really passed before she was jolted awake by a grumbling Uchiha.

"Sakura, I know you've had a rough time and all thoroughly saving our asses, but I'm right about tired." The bastard did not even bother asking if she was alright. He probably already knew, but the courtesy would have been nice.

"Sleep then. I'm not stopping you. Hopefully I'll do a better job keeping watch than you did."

The sneak attack still stung a bit in her cuts. How he had managed to allow someone so unstealthy near them was beyond her, but she doubted she would be trusting his ability to keep watch again. For someone who was already bordering on stress induced insomnia, this would do no good for her sleeping habits.

"Right." If he caught the blatant insult he showed no sign of caring. With silence and ease only the Uchiha could muster after such a rough night he lay down and was quickly off into a guiltless, worriless slumber.

It was not the entirely peaceful rest that Kakashi had until recently always fallen into. While Kakashi had lay entirely still and relaxed no matter where he put his head, Sasuke seemed to be restless. There was no fear tossing him around. It was rather like the princess and the pea. Though he slept, he seemed perpetually uncomfortable. She liked to imagine that his figurative pea was all the heartache he had caused in his years of betrayal to his entire country. It was something he was hardly aware of, not solid enough to fully present itself, yet it pricked at his side like a thorn or a transparently concealed memory. The details of it were just vague enough not to break through and openly bother him.

In all her loathing she did not feel that he had the right to lay so normally on this dead earth. He had destroyed her dreams in so many ways. Choices he made and continued to make had carved the course of her life in irrefutable stone. She would never be able to feel entirely whole again due to his lack of remorse and his inability to see beyond his own selfish needs. Thieves never truly care about the destruction they leave behind. And the mess he had left to fume had been named Sakura.

Several long hours passed before he awoke again. He offered to give her a turn at sleep but she refused, knowing it would be pointless. Instead they continued their journey once more. As they moved deeper and deeper into this hidden underground house of horrors it looked less and less like a roughly ground hut of stone and more like an intricately designed home of carefully molded architecture. The ragged and jagged walls smoothed out to shining polished beauty. The sounds of Kakashi's torment were louder now, bouncing off each cool surface to echo around them. She noticed for the first time that it was not just nonsensical groaning but a specific sound, a specific set of syllable placed remarkably close to her name. He was calling for her, endlessly. Just like she had been told. And now they knew she was here, to rescue him. To play hero. Did they see her as only a child trying to play in this grown up game?

She had proven beyond any doubt that she was strong enough to do this. Twice now she had thwarted their attempts to stop them. Twice now she had seen underneath the underneath to find that hope was not too far to find. It was only a couple more days to Kakashi. Anticipation and dread fought inside her heart to create a tumultuous churning in her stomach. She had hardly eaten in the last few days and knew that it was causing her a weakness that she would regret later. Try as she might, she could not make the idea of food seem at all appealing to her.

"Sasuke, they already know that we're here. Why don't they attack at once? Try and ambush us. It seems wiser than taking on two very powerful ninja one at a time when obviously their skills have been… lacking." The troll like man and runt boy filled her thoughts. Why go after such big prey with such tiny weapons?

"First, don't forget that we're not the normal victims they find. Most often they get only the average elite ninja who didn't have the array of teachers we have. These ninja are more often than not infected with the jutsu already. It's extremely debilitating." She just nearly forgot that he was included in those numbers. "Besides, I think their attacks only work right separately. They all seem to be the only ones immune to their specifically tailored and coordinated moves. No one can quite be in enclosed spaces with the wires. So he was stationed outside. If you get through that challenge, it's not without plenty of open wounds to suck in that painful gas."

"So what are the other attacks? You've been here before, right? And escaped…" Something about the sudden downcast stare he gave her made her falter. He _had _beenhere. There was no way he hadn't. Through miles and miles of forest and rock he had led them into this labyrinth of earth and still led them further in to find Kakashi.

"I have been here. I was dragged in during a particularly graphic spell. I also escaped. Not quite so eloquently as I might normally have. I did not go through this exit or these pathways. I was unaware of the state of this prison." He did not meet her eyes and she found for the first time that the cold and worriless Uchiha was capable of feeling shame. His usual stoic expression remained save for his downcast frown. A lie like this could easily be the death of them. She would bet her life that she knew why he had conveniently forgotten to mention these less than reassuring facts.

"How long have you had the disease?" He did not look up or acknowledge her question. "Before you got here, obviously. What were you doing when you found it."

"Looking for Kakashi. There was some woman looking for him, waving his book around like it was made of gold. I had heard he was dead, but I could not hardly believe it. I stole the book and went off looking for him. Somewhere between seeing the lady and leaving the town I started having visions."

"Around the inn. It belonged to Mr. Hayato. I'm not sure how, but he managed to trick me and Kakashi. Did you see it?"

"Hayato…" The name seemed to have grabbed hold of Sasuke's attention. In his pondering, he disregarded her question. "Is Hayato the pale, thin man? That's what Akio calls their leader, is Hayato."

"No, he was old. And severely short. Pretty fat too. Maybe a dad?" Was Hayato here now? It would not be at all surprising.

"Yes. He lives here. Visitation is his greatest joy. His room is right across from his prisoners. Apparently our screams and cries and struggles are his lullaby." If it was possible the already ghostly boy paled. Was there fear hidden in those eyes?

"Did he torture you along with the mental anguish he put you through?" If he did, then there may be more than one reason Kakashi was calling for her. Early healing was imperative with torture wounds.

"In some ways, but not anything that would be necessary to heal. It's always just enough to cause discomfort, just enough to enhance the reality of your own trapping thoughts." As an example he lifted his arms and shirt to show nicks and bruises that were not serious yet placed perfectly to be bothersome. "I was only here for a couple of weeks or so. Kakashi has been here much longer. His wounds are more severe than mine. While I was here, Hayato was very rough on our teacher. Kakashi is not one to break easily."

She had known this for a long time. Yet, hearing it from Sasuke, the man who never seemed to think anyone was deserving of a good word, it made pride surge in her heart. Kakashi was the strongest ninja in Konoha. People may not believe he can get through anything, they may not have faith in his uncanny ability to stay alive despite all other circumstances, but she knew better. He was her teacher, her friend, her hope. And she was saving him from this monster named Hayato no matter what. Because right now, the strongest ninja in all of Konoha needed her.

"We'll get to him in time enough. And we'll find a cure for this disease."

They continued walking along in silence. Sakura knew it would only be a matter of time before there was another attack. Every turn into refined hallways with towering ceilings and hanging drapes was met with an uneasy anticipation. How much longer until someone or something jumped out to do more gruesome and loathsome things? She did not know what to expect next and now she knew without a doubt that neither did her company.

Being constantly alert came with many advantages. The smooth stone walls tattled on anyone trying to lurk around corners or columns. Ears at attention told her that they were nearing their next challenge. As a trained elite jonin whose skills were honed mercilessly every day by the Hokage herself, Sakura could trust easily that she would be prepared this time. From the clinging and sharp metallic sounds ahead there was a great possibility that the person they came up on next was using some form of weapon, not a gas or genjutsu like their previous adversaries. Since all Sakura had was a dagger and a handful of kunai, she was hoping that Sasuke would be more active in this fight.

"Sasuke, when we reach this next opponent, I want us to try to lure him closer to Kakashi so we don't continue to lose ground every time we come under fire. It'll take us forever to reach Kakashi at the rate we've been going and from the sounds he's making he doesn't have that long." At his disinterested nod she continued straining her ears. There was hardly any light but she could finally see the outline of a faint shadow. Their opponent seemed decidedly distracted.

Once they finally reached the source of every clunk that echoed through the hallway they were greatly surprised. Their opponent was stationary, a metal puppet with blades swiping carelessly through the air. It's eyes gleamed red at them as a creaking neck stiffly followed their every movement. The constantly moving, unpredictable swoosh of steel through the air reminded her vaguely of the obstacle courses they had been forced to master as genin. All the training in the world had left Sakura clumsily crashing through every new course. She simply panicked when presented with a flat out test of her abilities.

"It's a puppet." And sure enough, even as he said it, their "stationary" problem slowly lurched and jerked forward in a kind of step. How old was this machine? Where was its puppeteer?

They did not have time to ponder this further. Without warning the ancient machine seemed to come to life. The previous snail pace with which it had moved towards them quickened to a blurry speed and it's rusty blades seemed to slice through the air with minute precision. In grace she had not known she possessed she dodged and slid her way out of advances. They were being pushed back. This was the opposite of Sakura's hopes. Getting further away from their target had not been her plan. It was this thought that caused her to push recklessly back. It had worked with the wire dancer, but it only backfired with this machine.

The gas had slowed her movements, a small explosion of pain in every cut that made her hesitant to move as quickly and surely as she normally would have. These little moments of lag cost her dearly. A wide gash had already cut across her shoulder, leaving her right arm nearly useless. Every ninja was trained to be ambidextrous with every weapon. Unfortunately for her, her short range weapons were pointless if she could only manage to get severely injured with every step forward.

Sasuke seemed to be planning something. Instead of trying to get in range like Sakura was failing, he pulled further and further away and kept giving her quick glances as if to impart in her some unknown plan. She could tell there was a reason to his madness yet she could not guess at what it may be. Frustration clouded her judgment. There was a talent, a something that Sasuke had that could get them out of this. Why wasn't he trying?

Finally, when she was within his reach, he yanked her back. Blurred hand signs jolted her mind back in place. Of course. Why had she not thought of this before?

A raging inferno lit the hallway beside her. Glaring flames licked at the metal framework and she watched as it melted down like wax. The clicking and sparking gave testament to the determination of the puppet while it continued trying to reach them through the heat. Inches from Sasuke's own jutsu forming fingers the destroyed steel finally halted. Their enemy was defeated and yet mechanical red eyes still shown brightly at them. It felt almost as though it was pitifully alive. Despite the knowledge that it was simply an inanimate tool Sakura felt obliged to cut its roughly hewn head off with a kunai in a form of soldier's empathy. To her surprise the rolling face let out a contented sigh.

Feigning disinterest she stepped passed it. The thumping in her heart seemed to amplify in the spaces around her, tattling on her suspicions that their puppet was not just an obstacle in the course of their journey. It had seemed too responsive, too in tune to the reality of its situation. That contented sigh at the moment of its death would haunt her for a long while. With no proof, she could not completely convince herself of assisted suicide. Yet her hands that had healed so many screamed betrayal at her. Was it possible that they had managed to trap someone into that horrid machine? Had they stolen the soul from some poor victim and enlivened metal and bolts to slice and dice unfortunate passersby?

It took many long hours for her to shake her mind from these thoughts. Once she finally did Sasuke was offering her time to rest and a small portion of food. With no appetite, she had a hard time accepting the nourishment. Only the knowledge that her abilities would only be weakened by starvation forced her to choke down the little bit in her hands. She couldn't deny that she felt just a miniscule bit better. An emptiness she had been ignoring was filled and her arms and legs no longer felt hollow. With nourishment she felt herself relax and though she fought sleep it was not long before she fell into a quiet doze. Visions of a happier Konoha and a positive outcome to their conundrum.

Her happy dreams had seemed to fade away as pain prodded her insistently in her side. Sasuke had already awoken her to move them along and she could not help but feel cheated. She could not pretend not to notice, unfortunately. Desperation now hurried Sasuke's steps and stumbling hindered him every few steps. He was losing his ability to distinguish between the reality and the disease. Cold fingers had resorted to clasping hers, but this did little to comfort their owner. Occasionally his grip would tighten to whiten his knuckles and cause tiny slivers of pain to shoot up her arm. Unlike Kakashi, he seemed unable to get a hold of himself.

They had to be only a day or so away from the place where Kakashi was being held. They had been traveling pretty quickly and they seemed to be entering more and more grand rooms that appeared to be home oriented rather than prison designed. Yet, the closer they drew the more chaotic Sasuke became. She could hear the individual breaths of her teacher now instead of just his cries and screams. He seemed to be every where and no where all at once. She had a feeling this was partly to blame for Sasuke's hysteria. He had many things to be guilty for, including abandoning Kakashi. With his heightened awareness of the disease plaguing him, the added stress of hearing a source of his tragedies everywhere around him could never be good.

There was also the growing suspicion that this was no longer only echoes. It seemed much clearer than it previously had been. Distance could account for most of that, but not the way that sounds that should have been nearly inaudible seemed to ghost across their skin in a loud, moaning, gooseflesh prickling proof of torture. Whirs and grinds rushed through their chests and stilled their breaths seconds before angry screams filled the room. Kakashi was never one to lay down and take his pain. She could only imagine him fighting to free himself from his chains, to counter attack. He had always said that this was the lowest, most cowardly form of ninja arts.

And suddenly all thoughts of torture and echoes and desperation flew from Sakura's consciousness. Before her, leaned against an intricately carved artful wall was Kakashi. He looked worse for wear, far into some horrible image or another, but he was breathing. Tensed, lean muscles rippled as he pulled at his chains distractedly and his face seemed thinner and paler than she had ever remembered. His clothes nearly hung from his body in ripped and bloodied rags. Wide, contrasting irises stared unseeingly past her. This did nothing to slow her hurried steps to him, dropping Sasuke's hand behind her. White hair was smoothed away in a calming caress and she found herself whispering soothing nothings to him. He may have been able to discern what was real and what was not when Sasuke had left, but it was more than apparent that he could not do so now. Minutes ticked by slowly without the faintest hint of recognition from him. No matter how many times she ran her hands over his arms and into his finger, the action refused to calm him as it had before.

She could feel the cold tears welling up in her eyes. There was no way they were already too late. He had been calling for her. He still called for her, though she was right in front of him. How could he be so far gone, when she had sworn on everything that she would heal him? Even as she pressed livening chakra into his wounds and wound it up through his veins to lower his heart rate and mend the broken channels in his eyes she could tell there was something there that she could not reach. After she was done mending his broken body she tried to disentangle him from the genjutsu trapping his mind.

She was surprised to see the genjutsu materialize in front of her eyes in a labyrinth of glaring red web that seemed run through his core. Every thread was a dagger pulling the life from him. It seemed to connect in an intertwining way to the horror overtaking him. This was the most complicated of all genjutsu to work against because it essentially was several different attacks that built upon each other into one larger, more elaborate strike. There was almost no way for her to go through it alone. In order to truly heal him of his afflictions she would have to drag him back to Konoha and beg Tsunade's aid. Honestly, she wasn't sure even her Sannin trainer could do anything for him and the fact nearly stopped her heart. Would it have been better to have allowed him to die from his fight with dignity than to take him home and have everyone know him as the nutcase? She was sure that Kakashi would have thought so. It was hardly a death befitting an elite ANBU jonin.

A strangled cry tore her from the ragged man in front of her. Whirling around to face her possible opponent nearly had her crashing to the ground. All she saw was Sasuke clutching his eyes and kneeling, apparently deeply distressed. She had known he was growing more and more frantic, but for the great Uchiha to be drawn to his knees was nearly impossible. What could have elicited such a response?

As much as she looked around she could not find his assailant. What she could easily see was the blood gushing from the spaces of his fingers that were clasped around his sockets. Like red tears dripping onto the ground she saw his power seep away and into the hard earth at his feet. Sasuke's eyes were everything to him. He had killed to obtain the swirling tomoe and distinctive power that came with the Sharingan. He had betrayed and fled from everything he had ever known in life to exact his revenge for the suffering it had caused. And yet now it was all for nothing. Some unknown and unseen person had removed not only his greatest weapon, but his greatest defense. Those ruby eyes had been all that had kept the gruesome images of the filth disease at bay and now that building tide of fear would be colliding with his conscience like a tsunami. Within moments this fact was evident.

His screamings were just nearly nonsensical. She could hear half formed apologies in the rawness of his voice and knew for once that he was truly sorry. Her name was mentioned on occasion, along with Kakashi's, but most often Naruto was the center of attention. This was unsurprising as they had been best friends and Sasuke had turned around and tried to kill him on several situations. Mutterings about unforgivable sins and damned souls broke the air, met with Kakashi's whimpering. Her two men were broken, the only two she had ever bothered to love. Here she was to fix them with no idea how to do so.

Carefully, lest he decide to lash out at the unseen presence, Sakura moved to his front and pried away his fingers. The eyes were sliced vertically, and deep. There was far too much blood for the damage to be completely reparable, but she could do her best at the moment. Unfortunately, healing always took more resources than fighting when it came to chakra. When she fought she just bounced the chakra off of her opponent or relocated it to a specific part of her body, keeping it in her stores for as long as possible. As a medic she had learned that part of the reason the job was so taxing is because one has to essentially push the majority of their own store of chakra into a place that is not normally holding it. If they were simply infusing the victim with an extra dosage of chakra it would be no less draining but a lot less effortless. As it was she was essentially recreating every vein, every muscle, every fiber until she had recreated the holes of the wound as much as possible and lessened the strain of the bodies natural healing mechanisms.

Eye wounds were particularly difficult. She found herself fine tuning the delicate strands of blood that had busted with only the aid of her own sight. The extremely complex and fine muscles that had been so quickly severed took much longer to right again. By the time she had finished her chakra was entirely depleted and Sasuke had fallen into his world of dreams. Exhaustion dragged her own limbs down. Crawling over to the peacefully sleeping form of Kakashi was all she could manage before collapsing restlessly into slumber.

Though his arms were bound by chains, she found that that didn't stop her from laying her head forlornly in his lap, or curling her fingers around the loose scraps of his ANBU vest. He stunk strongly of blood and sweat, but below that she could smell sandalwood and leather. It was that smell that comforted her in her dreams. It was that smell that led her mind to conjure up scenarios where she was young and playing with her only kind, tall, and very silver friend. The light murmur of his voice broke into her subconscious to speak muddled sentences about fathers and love and jealous children. Soft fingers quietly ran across her face to remind her she was beautiful and worthy. Lessons were learned at high prices and friends were lost for low standards. Only his consistency kept her grounded and safe over all the years.

It was not long before the reality of her situation seeped in like it had been lately and marred her innocent dreams with blinded avengers and hopeless cases and she was jerked awake to find fate had not withdrawn it's cruel hand.

With only the barest feeling of shame she lifted herself from her sleeping teachers form and watched his brow crease at the loss of contact. While she would love to curl up here and beat back the disease until it cringed in submission, she knew that this was not the answer. She would have to find the creator of this jutsu and apprehend him. Only Ibiki's strict interrogation tactics would be likely to crack such a creature and reveal to them the solution to so terrifying a problem. And while she was stuck worrying about transporting their current enemy to Konoha, she was just as uncertain about her ability to safely drag along two entirely useless elite ninja. Not only was it almost physically impossible, it was highly unlikely that the two vulnerable, highly priced ninja would not attract trouble. There was a bounty that she could hardly even imagine on both of their heads. This situation would not go well.

"Kakashi, I know I should have told you before. You asked me, and I lied. I had known it as a lie, but not how deeply it was a lie. It wasn't just a kiss." She was rambling to a man who most assuredly couldn't even hear her. Even she found this despairingly pathetic. "It meant a lot to me, and I won't pretend I didn't see it coming. I mean, you and I have been spending a lot of time together and all that. And we've been there for each other through a lot-"

"So, get on with it." His voice was rough and windless and not at all as she remembered it. Yet, she still found herself fighting the shivers up her spine. Black and red gazed tiredly up at her, awaiting her confession that suddenly seemed much more difficult to give.

"Well, you see, while you was gone, I had a lot of time to think. Everyone thought you were dead. And that I was crazy-" Rambling was safer than what she had been leading up to.

"Sakura." The stare faltered under the premise of pain and she hurriedly searched out a place to heal before realizing the pain was quite literally in his head.

"Oh, right. I realized you're right. I love you." Words seemed to stick in her throat in their attempt to run back to her vocal chords.

"That's nice to know." Why she had been expecting a response equal to hers in seriousness she did not know. This anticlimactic opinion that was so like Kakashi offended her so deeply that she found herself holding back tears. Had he changed his mind?

"Oh." It's all she had the courage to voice.

"I told you so." thin, pouting lips tugged upwards in a smile and she felt her heart soar. Though he did not openly say it, she could read the relief in his features. A few of the red strands piercing his heart seemed to disintegrate away.

"Does that hurt?" She pushed her palm forward, always expecting to feel the resistance of the strings, but moving straight through them instead. She felt a soft thump just underneath the fabric and knew that his heart was beating what must have been furiously for such a weakened man. It was their first real moment together since the hidden kiss in their hideout. Who would dare waste it on something so trivial as questions?

The distinct lack of answers went unchallenged as she ran her hand over the stiff muscles of his chest and abdomen. He was staring at her more clearly now, a deeper emotion than the fear that had clouded his eyes cutting through and into her mind. She found that the more she moved her hands and inched ever so slowly closer to him, the sharper that look became until it was nearly like his own caress against her skin. Clingy, hopeful arms wrapped around his neck and she lay her head on his shoulder to nuzzle his collarbone with her nose. He still smelled so foul and so delicious at once. The strong stench of panic clung to his clothes with fervor. Yet it did not deter her as she pushed herself higher onto his lap and lifted her face to stare evenly with his. She was nearly brave enough to kiss him, this time.

And then he shattered her bravery.

"No. I think you're wrong Sakura, and you'll admit it before this is done." That intense look was back, but paired with these words she didn't know what to do. She thought for sure she had known what that look meant. And now she was not so sure.

"I know what I feel, Kakashi." Anger edged it's way in to her tone and there was nothing she could do about it. How dare he use the same sentence to tear down her truth as easily as he had her lie.

"No, you don't know the mistakes I have made Sakura. You don't know the people I have let down. I can't do that to you." Dark fabric lifted and fell heavily with his breathing. Finally she recognized it. This was not the jutsu talking, but the broken shell it had left behind of her teacher.

The confident, all knowing Kakashi had been replaced with this Scarecrow before her. He believed himself undeserving and in some way the person before her was. The man she knew was witty and kind and strong. Imitation Kakashi sat before her so afraid of the possibility of failure that he was unwilling to try. She may as well have told a stranger she loved them for all the good it did. Until Kakashi was cured, he did not belong to her. Even so, her presence had seemed to mend something inside that fought back the terror and that was enough to keep her rooted to her spot on his lap. It was with silent tears that she lamented the continued loss of her own protector.

It was in this position that they were caught by a cold and familiar voice. When she had heard it first, it had been flirting shamelessly and warmly with what was believed to only be a young female hiker. Now it was leering and haughty as it addressed the two would be lovers embrace. "I see you've finally arrived. This is hardly the way to greet our guest of honor."


	9. Sick

Sorry it took so long to update. My computer crashed. It was already over 90% written, and then my computer just went… PLOP. So you were left waiting a little while longer. I'm sorry. The story, however, is drawing to a close. There are only a couple more chapters left. Everything is about to come together very soon. If there are any questions, tell me please. Also, if anyone can guess who the mastermind is, then you shall get a cookie. An imaginary one, from me to you. And recognition as the most awesome reviewer ever.

Onward, dear angst lovers.

-+)-(-+)-(-+)-(-+)-(-+)

A chill of fear ran up her spine. How long had he stood there? There was no point in pretending she was not the one Kakashi had yelled for so often. An elated, knowing voice left no illusion that he did not recognize her and had not expected her. Had he allowed for them to reach this point only to taunt her? Hesitantly, pale shoulders turned and a slim waist pivoted as she stole a glance at this monstrous tyrant that held her hope in chains. The hitch in her breath did not go unnoticed.

Had she not known the Devil stood before her, she would have probably described him as handsome. Through the dark, sleek hair and the toned, pale limbs, she could see the old man that she and Kakashi had met. This pointed face was no where near as joyful as the wrinkled one had been, but the resemblances were unmistakable. An identical jaw structure and narrow nose from the inn chased away any doubt that this was at least his son. Brother was even a possibility. There was a gauntness to the cheeks, as though someone had stretched skin over bone and called it human. Skeletal fingers ticked away on the stone as though the patience was only an act. Any second now he would jump from that hollow prison and swallow her whole. Icy blue eyes did not dissuade her from this image while they traced every surface of her with unconcealed hunger. She was much too innocent and pure and unafraid to be standing in his fortress so unprotected.

And she was vulnerable, wasn't she? The only company she had were two men that were impaired. One was even entirely blinded now. And though Kakashi tensed under her, valiantly ready to defend them once he was freed from his bindings, she knew that if he fought he would lose. She was the only hope and she was literally shaking in her boots. Men three times her size had fallen like babies at her feet; talents that had withstood against rebellion for generations cowered at her name. And yet this one master of fear left her powerless. How many had died at his hands? At hands before his own? Like her father, and Lilly Anne, and countless others. There was no choice. Either victim or hero, she was the end of this.

With strength she did not feel she stood and opposed Hayato face to face.

"I am here on behalf of those who have suffered at your hands." Somehow, her voice did not quiver. "I am here on behalf of my teacher, and the sanity you have stolen from him." She took a step closer and tried to rid her limbs of their tremors. Though she did not feel entirely as brave as she sounded, she saw the smug look begin to slide off of his face. It gave her just enough to take another step.

"I am here on behalf of my friend, who is blind by your sword." That wasn't necessarily true. She had not seen who had attacked Sasuke. But whatever had happened, this monster was at the heart of it. "I am here on behalf of a barely formed family, who's future you ripped from their grasp." There was no denying it now. He looked much less reassured. With a final step she found herself just short of bumping into his sunken chest and sallow skin.

"I am here on behalf of my father, and the life you denied him." The confidence she had been feigning fell into her muscles and her mind. "I am here on behalf of a scared little girl, who you forced to grow up without the love of family." Though he did not cower, she could tell that he no longer felt her to be an easy win. An ace still hid up his sleeve, however.

"And if you kill me then what will you have accomplished, my darling heroine? I am simply a servant to a much more devious master." It was an unexpected and unproven statement that had her steps faltering. She had assumed he was the mastermind. Would he still know how to cure Kakashi?

"I had no intentions of killing you. I am going to take you back to Konoha. We have better ways of dealing with scum where I am from." Ibiki was renowned for his skills in the dungeons. It was no secret to the criminals that they would rather have any other punishment. "He will reveal all your truths and all your lies."

"I have no intentions of being taken any where." And with that, he made his first move. Those bone-like phalanges blurred in seals that she could only barely make out. If she didn't stop those hands soon, she knew she'd be trapped like her friends. No one could afford that.

He was mid seal when she all but pried his hands apart with a kunai. More like animals than people, they fought with an intensity that could only be described as barbaric. Chakra infused fists bruised skin as frail as porcelain. The same signs formed and reformed a hundred times, always interrupted just before it was too far gone to matter. Fire breathed and water withered, each technique equally powerful and appropriately loose ended. Jutsu that Sakura had only tested in theory suddenly found their way onto her table of tools to be pulled from the fringes of her mind. She knew she was outmatched, but years of being on team 7 kept the fact from bothering her. There was no such thing as hopeless.

The one on one fight continued for several hours. Exhaustion crept into her arms and legs and slowed her movements. One could have looked at her opponent and thought he was unaffected, but Sakura could sense the chakra draining from him in bucketfuls. His reserves were deeper than hers, definitely, but since he continued trying to form that same genjutsu he was draining it much faster than she could have dreamed. Apparently the art of ninjutsu was only something he had passively practiced. Previously grand attacks now seemed slower and manageable as she twirled and fled the array of metal lashing in her direction. An idea had formed while she halted whirring fingers once more. It was a crazy idea, really. If it was easy then the Hyuuga's would be out of business. But to take chakra from an unwilling victim seemed… less than humane. She'd have no choice.

A close range attack was the only way she'd be able to attempt this. Thin, quick wrists flashed in increasingly desperate advances. They would need to be held and he would need to be forced motionless. If this was even possible, then it should be done in only a few moments. If not, then Sakura for all intents and purposes was dead. In no time he would be back on his feet and she would be defenseless. From the strained grunting and rattling of chains, Kakashi was growing restless just sitting there. If her wild shadow of an idea was unsuccessful he'd probably feel obligated to try and defeat this villain himself. And while he may be able to win where Sakura had failed she doubted that Kakashi had the mind to stumble with his unseeing student all the way to Konoha to receive a half decent healing. His hollow voice continued replaying in her head as he declared his unworthiness. Even if he could make it home, he'd probably prefer to die here if he had to leave her carcass. Once again the thought enlivened her lead limbs. They were going home. And this demon was going to give them the cure for the genjutsu that had claimed too many.

With speed she felt she could not possibly possess she dashed into him. Punches and swipes kept her from gaining immediate control. Using just a miniscule amount more chakra than absolutely necessary, she sharpened her eyes to the movements in front of her, seeing with clarity what previously had only been a quick blur of motion. Wrist one was caught with ease. Panic alighted the stricken face before her and she felt him struggle uselessly against her iron grip. Tsunade was not a Sannin for nothing. As her apprentice, Sakura would be ashamed if he broke away from her. It was much harder to obtain wrist number two. Her arms were shorter by a mile than his. Considering there was a full head separating her from his shoulders, she had not doubted the difficulty of this job. It had taken a full half hour to climb up his chest and legs to grab the other. Once she had them both securely under her reign immobilizing him was simple. He was primarily a genjutsu specialist. His hands were the most important thing he possessed. All the scrolls in all the world would be useless to him. Her height turned from weakness to advantage with a simple slide to the back of him. Shoulders popped and back arched in pain as he hissed against her restraint. She had already begun before he could flip to regain his ground.

The pain was unbearable. She had known it would hurt him, as the chakra was being pulled from channels that were already dreadfully taxed. What was unexpected was the throb of molten leaded ache as the foreign and tainted power mingled with her own. While she stood in her own uncomfortable sensations, the man before her writhed in agony. Though he was held in place his own screams tore from his throat and danced across the chamber. Never had a grown man shrunk before her eyes as he did now. Within moments this flood in her veins was over and the previously proud Devil fell to his knees. He was not defeated, but now all he had to fight her with were his fists and weapons.

"You could turn in now, and save yourself the embarrassment." The cool voice was not her own. Surprise jumped forward for only a moment before she realized that it was Sasuke who had spoke up. He was standing now, facing their direction though not looking at either of the sweaty duelers. Previously blood red eyes now showed only obsidian iris. Blindness must shut down the Sharingan entirely. "She will slaughter you in hand to hand combat without your chakra. You fight dirty, she'll fight dirtier." From the gritted teeth and sweating skin of the man before her, he had already found that to be true.

"You obviously don't know my boss." One should never forget that ninja are first and foremost workers for a cause. They understand from day one that should it ever occur that their survival places said cause in danger, they are to die. So it was without a moments notice or hesitation that the kunai plunged into his chest and their devil was bleeding onto the marbled floor. Only the desperate half cry of indignation lurched Sakura's feet forward and placed dimly glowing hands over the badly scarred heart in a flicker of dread that the road had ended and her boys would die.

Even as she pieced the organ back together, she knew his heart was done beating. The Devil was but a decorated demon. Whatever knowledge he had was lost now. Dead lips don't tell secrets. The clatter of chains falling to the ground barely registered as she tried to force this foe back to life. It wasn't until Kakashi's cool arms wound their way around her waist to pull her away that she realized she was irrationally trying to pump water from rocks. All the restraint in Konoha couldn't have kept the tears from slipping through her ducts. Though they had won, they had also failed.

"Sakura…" Was it irony that the terror ridden man beside her hid his face in her neck and whispered comforting nothings? Certainly it had inspired her desperate attempt to subdue their threat only to have him commit soldier's suicide. Regardless of the source of their plight, she could only manage so much grief while he held her. She felt the anger ebb away from her heart and pool unto the floor with the blood of Hayato. Though she knew the screams would return, for now Kakashi and Sasuke were coherent. For now the results of her mistake were a future she could deal with later.

"Was it that man who blinded me?" Sasuke spoke from behind her, his voice carrying around the room in a hollow, empty way. It was hard to remember that his sight was gone.

"I don't know. I was hoping you had seen who had done it. That maybe you would know." She didn't want to admit that she had been ogling Kakashi when he had his only defense ripped mercilessly from his skull.

"I didn't. Thank you though, for healing them. I may not be able to see, but I'm not in much pain now." He didn't mention the loss of his Sharingan and she didn't point it out. They both knew what it meant. To point it out was just begging for the visions to return. The gratitude showed her just how deeply the fear was reaching.

"Come on you two, we need to go home." With a grunt and shove the fallen fool was perched on her back. It would take a long time to reach Konoha now. Though most of their adversaries lie dead in pools of crimson she knew there were a few still lurking out along their path, waiting to avenge each fallen brother. Fending off the vultures seemed impossible from her viewpoint. Her muscles and chakra were so depleted that she didn't know how she was walking. It was possible for her team mates to help, but with their unreliable minds it seemed a bad idea to count on them. This was a mission that Sakura had long ago figured out that she would be doing on her own. It was only a testament to her strength that she had only failed this badly so far.

"Why are we carrying back the dead weight?" She had expected one of them to ask before long, and was surprised to see that Kakashi was the one who finally caved in.

"He may have some information crucial to healing you that we don't know about yet. I doubt I would recognize it and I don't trust either of your mental conditions to do a thorough search." The internal flinch was very nearly too discreet for her to see, but years of being around the two had her eyes catching on every detailed movement. Distrust that was entirely founded still hurt. Guilt trudged through her heart to make her head fall heavily down to stare at her moving feet. She would have to watch her words.

They continued the journey home in silence. Empty breezes and shifting shadows had her eyes darting around them to check for enemies she was sure would appear any second. Akio and Daisuke had yet to leap from the dark to reek their havoc. The longer they walked the more the feeling of dread grew. She couldn't shake the idea that they were diving into a trap. Everything had been going too smoothly since the death of Hayato. If he truly did have a big boss then they were slow on the follow through. Whether she preferred there be more to the puzzle or for everything to be stalled here remained to be seen.

It took them only three days to cross what had taken them a week before. Remnants of foes past filled the increasingly rough corridors with stench and flies. Her mechanical haunter stood still as a statue with its dripping casing reaching out its sword to an unknown enemy. The gas chamber was harmless now. Its guard had yet to be removed from the bloody puddle they had left it in. The look of satisfaction on Kakashi's face sickened her. What had these people been doing to him, to make him take pleasure in their deaths? What had they been doing to Sasuke? Though he hadn't been secretive about how he had been treated, he was still no more forthcoming. Physical pain didn't seem to be a major goal for the torturer, and it seemed pointless to cause more mental anguish to someone with the genjutsu that encased them. So what more could you do to someone who had nothing?

She found she really didn't want to ask. Before long they were stepping past the scattered wires of their first villain. Obviously loyalty was not a virtue he valued. It was only once they had moved long past the battleground that they encountered their first problem. It was not from the unveiling of their slow frenzied run away from hell. As far as any of them could tell they were as of yet undiscovered. No, instead their dash to crawl home was interrupted by something much more devastating.

Without warning Sakura collapsed under the weight of her burden. Exhaustion refused to allow her freedom. Paralysis confiscated her limbs and held her hostage under the stiffening arms and legs of Hayato. Kakashi and Sasuke easily threw him off of her, but that didn't change the fact that she was immobile for the time being. Though the two would hate to admit it, this left the trio undeniably vulnerable.

Perhaps this is why Kakashi tried to hide the clenching of his jaw and the distance in his eyes from the pair that already knew. He had hoped that the return of Sakura would also be the return of his anchor, but her effect on him was minimal. It seemed his mind was too enraptured with the return of all the guilt he had thrown behind him. Only her body being wrapped around him, her presence securing all his senses to her unique smell and heart and nature, ripped him back to reality. Something about her fought back the accusations, told him that he had never been the blood thirsty monster that the images portrayed. What had before been only him witnessing the death of his loved ones turned into his own hands leading the kunai across throats, pushing defenseless bodies under way of heavy boulders, banishing dark haired friends to their death. Only Sakura had remained his strength, always dying, but never his own victim.

Regardless of his futile attempts to be discreet with the return of his illness he was no masochist. After holding out for as long as possible, the grinding fear in his heart drug him to her side. She was finally in a sleep that was too deep and too healing to provide for dreams or the knowledge of his hand in hers. Her candy colored hair filled his thoughts with strawberry wine and an innocence he had long ago lost. Memories tickled his conscious and waltzed with his heart. They would come back and leave just as easily.

For any of them to take lookout was pointless. Though Sasuke tried with determination to remain awake and watchful, the holes in his attention were blatant. They were a nothing group with no skills and no hope, only each other laying in the leaf covered ground. Kakashi couldn't help but feel useless as he clung to this angel beside him for comfort he didn't deserve.

For the first time in what felt like years he slept soundly. This paradise was not meant to last long, of course, but it withstood long enough to be more intimately satisfying than food or words could ever be. When he was awoken by the gruff greeting of a masculine voice it was with the feeling of being well rested. Through blurry vision he saw a streak of blond and blue. Moments passed before the recognition hit him. Relief flooded his body as Sakura lifted from the ground before him into the strong and sturdy arms of Naruto. It didn't matter that those electric blue eyes pierced him with a question he was unprepared to answer. For the time being, Sakura was safe, and they would all be dragged back to Konoha with more protection than they could have ever managed on their own.

"So, Sasuke." Naruto's voice was feigning coldness, but he had never been particularly good at hiding his worry. At the ivory skinned boy's vague glance to his old friend, the blond inhaled sharply. The scars were clearly evident. Sakura's healing chakra had dwindled the glaring red gashes down to thin white lines that appeared years, instead of days, old. But there was no mistaking the way Sasuke seemed to be searching despite their proximity, nor the loss of the scarlet gleam and swirling tomoe.

"Naruto?" It had been several years since they had heard the other's voice. Without sight to aid him, there was no real way for him to know for sure it was the feisty ninja he had grown up with and apart from. There was also no way for him to brace himself for the hug that followed his hesitant question. Why it had taken him by surprise he did not know. An unannounced embrace was just like the over emotional boy he had left behind. In a way, his own returned gesture was much more unexpected.

"We've all missed you, back home." Sakura was shifting in his arms. Kakashi could see her almost tip over and fall numerous times before Naruto righted her again. For reasons he would not analyze the instability made his own arms ache to carry her. The pounding in his temple argued as he struggled with his will to bite back the request on his tongue. Suspicion already hung in the air around him. The last thing they needed was for him to confirm it.

"I have not heard as much. I believe the last words I heard used to describe me were 'blood thirsty avenger' and 'dirty murderer'." His voice was quiet, and the tell tale tone of self loathing crept into the listless confession. The Uchiha had been listening to the gossip around town.

"The ones that matter, Sasuke, we miss you. Me and Sakura, Kakashi too." Of course, Naruto didn't know. He was oblivious to the doubt and sorrow edging over the already fractured mind.

Bubblegum pink slipped again as he nearly scrambled on some rocks. For all his jonin skills, his grace, his level headedness in the face of severe strain, Kakashi could not stand by and continue watching Naruto's clumsy handling of such a delicate package. So it was his mouth hanging open, ready to take charge and demand the fox hand her over. It was not his voice that cut through the air.

"I will personally string you up in the trees by your veins if you do not carry her properly. She has saved our lives countless times. If you repay her by paying more attention to what may or may not be going through our teacher's mind than keeping her safe and comfortable, then you can stop here and go home." The dark voice was cold, despite the Uchiha's previous display of platonic affection. It appeared their mutinous friend had found a new loyalty. The thought made Kakashi's heart freeze in fear.

"Shut it, bastard." Yet her wiggling weight was suddenly much easier to keep a hold of. Azure seemed drastically less interested in charcoal and red than before. Sasuke wasn't the only one able to feel shame.

"She wasn't the same without you two." Every member of his team was haunted by their own doubts. Inadequacy was the name of Naruto's. An underlying worry screamed in the breath between the words. _I'm not enough…_

"She wasn't the same without you, either." The reassurance was met with a gloved hand ruffling through messy gold hair. With an action so familiar and yet so foreign, the old teacher knew the entire dynamic of their team had flipped. Would he miss it? It seemed frivolous to miss the way things had been in the face of never more.

"I think something is going on that I need to be told about." Kakashi felt his shoulders square in preparation. "I won't be mad, honest. I just need answers…"

"Before anyone can give answers, you'll need to ask a question." He was never known for beating around the bush. As a jonin, that had served him well.

"What is going on? I heard something from Tsunade, after Sakura left. But she didn't seem to believe any of it. She was under the impression that Sakura had gone mad. I didn't think so. The story though…"

"Believe every word of it." How there could even be any doubt left in the boy's mind was far beyond him. Did he think a ninja trained by the Sannin had just beat herself up? Did he not sense the hushed, panic filled atmosphere that hung so thick in the air that it was nearly tangible?

"Is it true… Kurenai said that she went after you, Kakashi. That Sakura had changed…" The question was on the tip of the an already retreating tongue.

"She loves me." There was no dodging the fist in his face. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have. Speaking around his swollen nose and trying to avoid getting blood in his mouth, he continued his original statement. "Or at least she thinks she does." This time he did duck. "I think she's wrong." And it was now a halfhearted battle. It was more obligation than true anger that burned in Naruto's eyes. As always, while the orange clad boy was nothing but fiery fury, his obsidian counterpart was shocking ice.

"If she thinks she does, then she does. She's not mistaken, Kakashi." And with that, Sasuke walked ahead of them, feeling his way around in his unending darkness.

"I hate to say it, Kakashi, but he's right…" Frustration had Naruto shoving past him and stomping through the trees after the retreating back of his team mate. He had taken the time to lean Sakura carefully against a tree before bludgering Kakashi's skull. Which left the two alone, though she had yet to awake. He had many unorganized words rattling around in his head to stack in a semblance of a confession and present to her, but he seemed unable to do it.

"Hey there. You did a great job…" It was an awkward start. Was it wrong to compliment her on a skill set that he had nothing to do with? "Stealing his chakra, that was creative." Thin pink strands drifted in the wind, her eyes and mouth still deeply relaxed in her sleep. "Everyone seems to think you've made up your mind. Well, I don't see how." Deep breath, slow exhale, repeat. "I have killed people Sakura. Not just like all ninja do. Not just in a job. My father committed suicide when I was just a small child. My mother died giving birth. My friends died to protect me. My mentor died, my classmates died, I am a singular survivor. A living ghost of a time gone by." He traced his touch over her fingertips and up her arms, caressing her cheek and running his thumb lightly over her eyelids. She had been feigning sleep the first time they had kissed. She had returned his kiss with so small a pressure he had been sure she had remained in slumber. "Hell Sakura, I don't know what to do around you." Previously occupied hands now grasped his hair in desperation. This had to be the vilest, most pure thing he had ever wanted to do. And at any moment, he could be caught and then it would be him strung up from the trees by his life source.

Nothing could stop him. It was slow and hesitant, much different from the confidence of their last moment. Every second was a purely selfish moment that he stole without care. Her lips were just as soft as they had been the first time he had kissed her, though there was no answer to his primal question this time. He moved his attention to her cheek, trailing innocent pecks from one to the other, breathing in her candy sweetness as he did so. This was his release, his freedom. Who ever knew a cage could be so lovely, when built by hands of care?

"I don't know why either of you are pretending." His blissful peace was abruptly interrupted. Luckily, it was Sasuke behind him. Naruto would probably attempt something stupid, like killing him, and then nothing would be simple.

"Pretending what?" He didn't move his eyes from the woman in front of him.

"That this is complicated, or wrong, or not exactly what you want."

"For the same reason you pretended, Sasuke, that you wanted to get revenge even while your friends waited for you here." The tensed muscles and uncomfortable expression was all the confirmation he had needed. "Sometimes, what is expected of us is more persuasive than the things we want. Sometimes, our duty outweighs our right to happiness. It is my duty to keep Sakura happy, and alive. I can not consolidate that duty with my want. The two are unable to coexist." He reversed his trail from earlier before his hand landed in hers.

"That's bullshit, and you know it." The conversation over, Sasuke left. While his last point had been rather ineloquent, it got the message across. Kakashi could make up as many excuses as he wanted. The stubborn petal princess would not be satisfied by anything but exactly what she desired. And for the moment, at least, all she desired was him. Asking price had been to hell and back, and she had willingly paid. So why then, was he unable to accept her admission?

Before he had enough time to sufficiently ponder the answer to this, Naruto and Sasuke were back and cooled down enough for them to continue on their journey towards home. Unsurprisingly they were being followed, though it appeared the spies were wary of making any advances. At the moment they were safe, and since the only one in any condition to fight was Naruto, avoidance was the best option.

It was a few more days before they ran into their next big problem. Sasuke's disease seemed to have furthered since Naruto's arrival. Guilt manifested itself into a physical illness, adding a sheen of cold sweat to the already pale skin. Through the layers of his sleeves, his companions had already began to notice the tremor that seemed to possess his body when his non-reality took over. Heat emanated from his skin in waves that had the other pair trying to find cool water, shaded spots, and easy trails to ease the fever. The assumption could only be made that Sakura was keeping Kakashi's disease from reaching such a dangerous height. They were right outside Konoha when the young man finally collapsed and Naruto was left half carrying, half dragging him into the gates. Kakashi had trailed behind to carry the still exhausted Sakura. All of them would need medical attention, and they would have to hope that the carcass was in tact and unmoved where they had been forced to leave it.

It was probably the only time he had willingly stepped foot inside a hospital, and the eerie silence that had followed them all the way from the gates and through the pristine white walls of antiseptic and scalpels did nothing to improve the experience. The squad ignored the panicked assistance of doctors and nurses and headed instead straight for Shizune's examination room. She was the best, only second to Tsunade. There was no time to race to Hokage tower, so this would have to do. And while her reaction was not as good as perfect, it was far better than they had expected. She had gasped at their appearance, been purely startled by Kakashi, and clearly didn't recognize Sasuke. But as was her job, and her passion, she set to work on getting them all situated. Though no one had said anything, she brought in as little help as possible and sent for Tsunade immediately. Despite being visibly desperate to check on Sakura, the professional woman seemed entirely unable to break away from protocol. Sasuke was the worst case, and as such, he got her full attention, while Sakura was carefully and emotionally cared for by who Kakashi could only hope was the next best nurse. Everyone was dealt with quietly and calmly and secretively. Did they realize the uproar had already been started long ago? For all the travelers knew, they had led Konoha straight into a very grave battle against an enemy that they weren't even sure existed. All on a march to the beat of an order and an obscure beginning that hardly even seemed relevant now.

"Shizune, there are more." He could feel the beginnings of an anesthesia he was sure he had consented to pulling his mind under a fog.

"Ok, Kakashi, I need to concentrate and you need to rest." Why is it that Konoha is so notorious for not listening in the most important of news flashes? The world was already swimming in front of him, but he knew from the yells outside that he had to relay his message.

"There are more… They followed us… Sakura…" Everything seemed to tilt sideways into a abysmal darkness. For reasons he couldn't explain he could feel himself fighting, trying to stay above the numb. "It's deadly, Shizune. Sasuke… Sakura. Save them." And then he could rise above the tide of sleep that engulfed him no more.

And while he slept, he was not embraced by the comforting buzz of a black backdrop. Instead he found himself in the middle of one of his visions. It was one that had appeared often and had involved several memories he had only held on to for a short while. The Sharingan was an amazing tool, one that he had used on many times to repress even the happy moments that he felt were dangerous. No experience is ever truly gone, however. And it was these hidden lifelines that the disease fed on, pulling them up and regurgitating them into something horrid and loathsome.

He bounced happily on a seesaw with a pink haired child before she fell limply to the ground with a kunai in her head and his own past stepped forth to take responsibility for her death. Rin and Obito had taken on demonic personas in his subconscious. They accused and prodded him until he was backed into a corner of self doubt and hatred. Just as he reached the crest of the pain in his chest, he would ride the wave back down until it started over again. Swinging blushing child would never come back down as she hung from a puppets strings, and he would find himself once again crashing and slashing through his old ghosts to try in vain to save her. His hands would be stained with blood he never would have seen on his hands. Even knowing that this had not been how they had died did nothing to save him. Newer team mates joined in on the massacre, standing in defiance of his rage. The cycle repeated itself over and over again.

When he finally awoke it was to find his body betraying him in it's twists and turns of agony. His wrists were restrained, the ropes barely covering the dark red bruises under his skin. Vocal chords that were broken and hoarse with overuse died mid-scream as he heard Sakura's name pass his gritted teeth. What had he revealed to them in his ravings?

As he finally calmed, he found he need not worry. Cold, black eyes greeted him. They were not the eyes of his comrade, nor his reflection winking back at him. Instead, it was a most unexpected and unwelcome visitor. Suspicion had began to settle in as they were unhindered in their return home. And yet, even as he had suspicioned, it was with a heavy heart that he saw them confirmed. It had been an inside job, after all.

"So, the infamous Genjutsu Killer is from Konoha. I see we can add yet another murderer to our ranks."

"Well, of course. But you see, it'd be rather messy for me if people found out." There were no pretenses. This was not a man on a friendly visit or a negotiable mission. He was here to kill for his own preservation.

"Hmm, yes. I see how that would be… unbeneficial for you." Weakened arms attempted to support his weight as his world spun again. These were the after affects of his anesthetic, at a most inopportune moment. "Unfortunately, dying is just as unbeneficial to me. You see, I have a few people to protect." An over exaggerated swing of his legs had the bindings snapping easily and his feet landing clumsily onto the white speckled tiles below him. Lights swam around him. The general drug had never been so profoundly strong on him before.

"I would be hesitant to struggle if I was you. The 'filth' disease, as those obtuse fools call it, has never been allowed to run for so long. It appears that the mind can only handle so much before it forces its troubles onto the body it runs. This is very interesting. I will have to remember it for the next interrogation. Seems to be that my little runaways were a success after all. I would never have known the full potential if not for your friend Sasuke." The name sent a shock of pain through his chest, and he couldn't explain why. What had happened to Sasuke?

"Well, you're not the only one that finds this interesting. Please, inform me?" More effort was warranted to keeping the slur from his voice than he wanted to admit.

"Your most trusted comrade seems to have quite a lot on his plate to feel guilty for." Kakashi's kunai that spun lazily on the other man's finger, twirling once one way and the next the other. "They tried everything they could to save his mind, but in the end it came down to forgiveness. It appears he has never felt any, so he had nothing to grab onto." Kakashi was wading through the muck, trying to grasp on to the words as they reached his slow moving thoughts. Was he saying the cure was forgiveness? This was important and he couldn't remember why.

"The cure?" He lifted his hands to try to hold on to something, and saw trembling, pale, sweat slickened bones in front of him. So he was sick? "Where is Sakura?"

"She has been tending to you, after they finally drug her back from her near death. She keeps your fever low, your heart beating normally, and your breath even. But only while she can be there to watch over you." A whoosh and thunk accompanied the kunai that materialized behind his head. "Imagine her surprise, when I dropped in for a visit. I knew better than the pretense of a worried friend. She'd see right through that. So I told her the truth." Nothing as pleased as a smirk belonged on that face.

"Cure?" He guess at the excuse he'd used. Play on the hopes of the subject.

"No, no. Research. This whole ordeal was research really. A more effective, more gratifying tool. You have your arts, and your Sharingan. I have this research, and these hands, and these restraints… Which you have quite easily broken through, good job." Another kunai spun in a slow circle before him. Where would his one go? Through the eye? It seemed to be the chosen target from previous experience.

Kakashi was cold all the sudden, shivering despite the long sleeves he wore. Blurred edges of an already swirling reality started closing in on him. The vision was starting again. This time he could feel the quickening in his pulse, the shallow way his breath suddenly seemed to burn in his throat. A fire filled cough tore through his esophagus to bring blood dribbling down his chapped lips. Heat sizzled the cold sweat on his skin. He thought briefly of how Sasuke had endured this, and wondered if the man was living.

Kakashi was indisputably sick. And it was just as indisputable that this man was killing him.


	10. Freedom with Forgiveness

Freedom with Forgiveness

Kakashi was cold all of the sudden, shivering despite the long sleeves he wore. Blurred edges of an already swirling reality started closing in on him. The vision was starting again. This time he could feel the quickening in his pulse, the shallow way his breath suddenly seemed to burn in his throat. A fire filled cough tore through his esophagus to bring blood dribbling down his chapped lips. Heat sizzled the cold sweat on his skin. He thought briefly of how Sasuke had endured this, and wondered if the man was living.

Kakashi was indisputably sick. And it was just as indisputable that this man was killing him.

+-(+-)+-(+-)+-(+-)+-(+-)

Sakura held tightly onto Sasuke's cold hand. His fingers were limp in hers, the color long since drained from his cheeks. The clammy sweat that had encompassed his skin in his last days was drying, effectively permeating the room with the rank of lost life. Despite the depression that smothered her heart, Sakura could not help the relief his peaceful face induced. In his last moments, she had been freed just as surely as he had been.

_Earlier…._

Shizune had crashed through Sakura's office with panicked eyes and shaking hands. Fearing for the worst, the pink haired medic immediately rushed from her desk. As soon as she passed her office's threshold she turned towards Kakashi's room only to be yanked the other direction. It was with dread that Sakura realized it was not her silver haired conundrum that was in danger. Sasuke had gotten steadily worse in his time in the hospital. With few visitors and even fewer improvements, Sakura had been forced by his side on more occasions than she could count.

Most of the other nurses refused to care for him. He was considered at best a traitor, at worst a mass murderer. They felt more than justified to sneer their noses at him and let him rot alone on the bed. Even those that felt obligated to give him medical attention did so without any regards to their bedside manner. His services had been found beyond lacking.

When Sakura had pushed open the curtain that gave him a semblance of privacy it was with the knowledge that she would be unlikely to save him. His groans could be heard down the hallway and his body was already convulsing on his bed. The restraints on his arms were more to protect him from himself than to keep him held anywhere. They had already bandaged his hands and face once when he'd broken the bindings. Despite all the precautions, he had managed to only grow progressively more unstable.

Naruto and Tsunade were already standing beside his writhing form. Naruto's irises were surrounded by the visible white of his eyes, his knuckles wrapped white skinned around the railings that held Sasuke down.

"Sakura, he's so… hurt…" It was strange to see Naruto at a loss. She had managed to ignore the fear in his expression and had maneuvered around him to reach Sasuke. She had forced herself to shove all his transgressions away and place him on the same level of every other patient.

"Tsunade, why haven't you been stabilizing his vitals? His blood pressure has sky-rocketed, his heart rate and his breathing are erratic. Traitor or not, he's a patient of our hospital." She didn't pause to see the tears that had started to fall from her mentor's face.

"Sakura, there's nothing we can do. I didn't call you here to save him. Even if we stabilize his physical body, his mental recovery is impossible. He is already far too gone for even me to reach. I have no family to call in, so I brought the closest I could to make peace and to sign off on the release of his medical care." It was only then that Naruto and she turned to see the clipboard held against Tsunade's abdomen.

"We can save him, Tsunade. This isn't unbeatable!" Hysteria had already clawed its way to cloud sound judgment.

"Sakura, he was already dying when we brought him into the village. The illness had already stolen his mind and attacked his health." Something icy and detached had settled into the usually emotional boy's voice. All fight had left him. "We can't let him suffer anymore. He wouldn't want to live as a nutcase. You know that." With that, Naruto turned and signed the waiver.

Numbly, she watched him walk to the edge of the curtain. Sasuke shook again and a piercing scream stopped her old friend before he had fully left his team. It was no wonder, as the name so desperately cried had been none other than his own. The disbelief and anger that had already began building in her chest at Naruto's lack of faith melted when he turned to reveal a face dripping with silent sobs. In true fashion, he crashed his thrashing friend into a tight embrace. With jumbled apologies and forgivenesses, Naruto settled his turmoil with his childhood friend. It appeared to calm the dark haired avenger, though it did nothing for his vitals.

Tsunade had gotten all she needed. With a signature, she could do whatever she saw fit and humane for the victim. Sakura had no say in the matter now. It appeared that even the Angel of Death had a heart, however. Before leaving Sakura to make her own peace, Tsunade had leaned in and stroked the young man's cheek with a whispered assurance that Konoha would have eventually forgiven him if he had only come home. The screaming and shaking had stopped, though now a pulse that had been climbing began to drastically fall. It appeared the less there was to tangle his mind in the web of disease, the more his tired body let go. Though she hated to admit it, nothing but selfishness and anger petrified her tongue. How could she forgive this man who had done so much? How could she let him escape to a possibly better fate outside of this hell he lived in when he had caused so much hell for her?

A sick feeling welled in her stomach as she remembered his sins. A stolen kiss hesitantly returned. A hand roaming up her thigh, a mouth trailing a wet line down her neck. The fear as she pushed against him. The screaming NO! in her mind and the whimper that slithered from her chords at the grasp invading her most personal space. Rough hands pulled insensitively at her breasts. Even her strangled protests did not bring any relent to the onslaught of unwanted sensations. It wasn't until she remembered her strength; her training that she managed to put her assailant out cold. The alcohol on his breath had been no excuse for the trust he had betrayed. And his cowardly flee from town had done nothing to put him back in her good graces.

She had lost the joy of close contact after that. Every attempt had brought only the feeling of panic and helplessness. As she sat here now, defeated by loss, she wrestled with this memory of him in her mind. They said to forgive and forget was freedom. Yet, she knew without a doubt that that night would haunt her long after he was beyond the reaches of worldly guilt.

Could she live with herself should she let him die without knowing she had at least tried to settle their past? It was solely on her shoulders. He had already been tortured by guilt and images that she could not imagine for months. Could he be punished any more than he already had been?

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to think beyond the moment. To see herself sitting at his funeral, to look Naruto in the eyes, to move on in her life knowing that she had refused to grant him a dying favor. She found a shadow of guilt, a hindrance to every waking moment and every attempt at joy. In her future she saw the shackles of a past mistake holding her prisoner to this moment, this decision.

Though it was hard, she realized the future was much more difficult if she continued on her current choice. So with an unsteady breath and tears in her eyes she turned towards the tormentor of her nightmares. There was a tremor in her voice as she leaned close to his ear, whispering a soothing reassurance. His rasping breath was slowing already, his heartbeat still dropping. He was just seconds from death. To seize this moment she was going to have to scrounge up her courage and face down the demons for both of them.

"Sasuke, I don't know if any of this is reaching you. I just want you to know… I just want you to know that despite everything, I forgive you. I will miss you. Please, rest well." And with the final thread cut, she heard the drone of the heart monitor.

This was how they found her, clinging on to the limp hand of her lost team mate. She had glanced up to see the look of calculation on Naruto's face. He had come with more bad news, she could tell. And she knew there was only one other fate that could bring her down farther.

"Please, tell me there's hope." Her weary and watery jade gaze begged nothing but honesty from her old friend.

"We don't know, Sakura. He's missing. And so is Ibiki." Icy fingers of dread slid down her spine. Ibiki had claimed almost two days ago that he was visiting Kakashi for research. Although it had annoyed her, she had understood and allowed him the briefest of visits. She had decided today that due to his deteriorating state after each scheduled drop in of the torture master of Konoha that he would no longer be allowed. Whatever questions he asked seemed only to distress her patient. She was perfectly within her rights. Besides, something about Ibiki's interest sent a suspicious chill across her shoulders. Now she knew why. She could only hope she wasn't too late.


	11. More

_Five words, repeating over in your head. _

_That's all you ever have to do. _

_Five words. Is it really that hard to say? _

_You're worth more than this._

"We don't know, Sakura. He's missing. And so is Ibiki." Icy fingers of dread slid down her spine. Ibiki had claimed almost two days ago that he was visiting Kakashi for research. Although it had annoyed her, she had understood and allowed him the briefest of visits. She had decided today that due to his deteriorating state after each scheduled drop in of the torture master of Konoha that he would no longer be allowed. Whatever questions he asked seemed only to distress her patient. She was perfectly within her rights. Besides, something about Ibiki's interest sent a suspicious chill across her shoulders. Now she knew why. She could only hope she wasn't too late.

+-(+-)+-(+-)+-(+-)+-(+-)+-

"Kakashi, you really shouldn't have been such a problem. Now I'm going to have to dispose of you properly." The calm voice was a façade. Even Kakashi's fading awareness caught onto the lingering scent of panic in the air.

His limbs were tied to a chair. Ropes rubbed uncomfortably on already bruised skin, wrists were bound until circulation slowed, and ankles were wrapped up to the knees. Fear permeated the room like a great fog. The disease was running away with his pulse, having a deadly rendezvous with his lungs, a parasitic love making with his mind. Despite the knowledge that his survival depended on escape he found that there was no steadying the spinning room he saw. Emerging from the darkness around him were his old friends and visions of accusatory green eyes. His visions spoke to him in slithered, slimy words. Yet, these things made no sense.

"You see, you are no longer useful. You're mental functions are still surprisingly sharp, yet you're so mad you either will not or cannot answer questions. Your health continues to decline, of course. This only makes you like a used up rag. It was far more enlightening when you fought. Of course, eventually you may have won. So this is for the best."

Before he could hear the last of it, he slid into the alternate reality that had been threatening since he was taken from the hospital. Instead of the usual scenes, it appeared his tired mind was trying to torture the last moments of his happiest half-memories.

A small child smiled happily up at her trusted friend. There was so little at this moment to go wrong. He had played with this small girl in the park as only a big brother might. There had been no lustful thoughts or envisioned pictures of the powerful woman she had grown into. Yet, all the danger she entered into in her life, had it not been because of him? Had he not nurtured the fighting and angry fire in her? Without warning the younger him that teeter tottered with the gently bouncing pink haired toddler turned psychotic. In Kakashi's powerless hands he felt the kunai rip through the miniature trachea. Only a pop gave signal to the break. Blood spurting kept him from fully seeing the fatal wound, and yet he found it did not lessen the effect. Even the younger him rebelled at the thought, backing away and staring at the still standing corpse of the little girl. As he stared the little body peeled away like a cocoon to reveal a dreamy eyed, long haired student. Just as before, his already bloodied body moved of its own volition to run the same kunai into the softest part of the belly and stood and stared as she crumpled. Once more his mind reeled at the sight before him. Right before he could fully give way to madness, he saw a stirring in the felled body. Rising from her ashes was yet another stage. This short haired, stone willed woman no longer needed him. Yet she continued to come to him to talk and learn and befriend. Fear now put his arms to slash her into ribbons. In slow motion her pieces fell like morbid rain. Again there emerged an older and more experienced Sakura. This time when his blade searched for her, she struck back. Defense pushed his offense back through the blackness around him.

Finally, his tiring mentality obliterated this more active Sakura as well. Warily he stared at the remains and waited for the new her to return. Though he waited well beyond the time frame she had managed before, he tried to stave off the despair. She would be back. She would be back and this time, he wouldn't destroy her. Even as he thought it he felt the predator prowling beneath his muscles in anticipation. It was as though he were a great demonic cat, ready to pounce once his prey emerged. And yet he had no desire. There was no hunger. He just wanted to enjoy the presence of hope in his life. His very nature would not allow it.

Finally she lurched up, the same as before only stronger. Now she made the first move, she pushed back. To his horror he fought her. He lashed out, felt the killer taking over his movements. His friends whispered into his mind how he would never overcome the murderous instinct. A mother's voice he never knew sneered that he'd never stop; he had never lived without guilt on his hands. A forgotten father told him to give up; the fight was not worth it. It couldn't be won. All the while she pushed him back, offensive to his now defensive.

She knew his secrets. She knew his weaknesses. So why was it that the only ones speaking were the ghosts from his past? Why did she not mention his recent failures? There was a ready arsenal at her disposal. She could easily pull forth examples of his ignorance towards her studies. Of course there was his fawning over the now disastrous prodigy that he had poured his time and effort into. Without stretching too much of her imagination she could fill her mouth with anger and hatred to overflowing. So why was there nothing?

To his surprise, his back pushed against a solid wall. Though he continued to fend her off, he was cornered. No visible barrier kept him still. Only his inability to understand her lack of resentment seemed to have trapped this monstrous side of him in a cage of confusion. Her own weapons fell into his void, leaving her unarmed. Having him directly where she wanted him, she rubbed her cheek against his own and pressed her lips to his ear. Calloused hands slid soothingly up his back and kept him flush against her. Warm breath caressed him as she whispered an unknown truth into his consciousness.

"You're worth more than this." That soft, innocent voice that had haunted his dreams seemed to stir fragility in him he had never before known could be reconciled with this monster.

And with that she was gone and he was thrown back into the real world where Ibiki held him captive. This time there was a significant difference in the way he perceived the situation at hand. Even with heavy limbs and lacking energy he felt more alert. The world around him had stopped its mad spinning and sharpened to an almost painful clarity. Ibiki stood directly in front of him, though at a distance. Surprise seemed to flash across his features before he reassembled the apathetic expression from before.

"I think you may have a bit of a problem, Ibiki." The silver haired Copy Nin had not expected his voice to be so raspy. "You see, you removed me from the hospital. There's no way you could have gotten permission for that. Tsunade would have had me on careful watch. Not to mention that Sakura had undoubtedly been obsessing over my condition. You can't just 'dispose' of one of the most valuable ninja in Konoha and think that no one will ever realize it was you."

"Of course I can. It'll be easy enough. Your health has been plummeting, even their records show it. I could easily say that I took you because you started rambling something that sounded important, and I feared we'd lose valuable information. As the creator of this particular strain of torture, I can manufacture something with just enough truth to be misleading." It was a theory with holes that could fit full grown men through it, but Ibiki seemed confident enough. Kakashi had seen men pass off worse lies merely with confidence.

"Even if they believe you, which is unlikely, how do you plan on hiding the drugs in my system? How do you plan on explaining to Sakura that despite every precaution she has placed like a mote around me, you managed to sneak me out of the hospital and to some remote area? Someone with nothing to hide does not sneak." Ibiki colored under the questioning. Like most criminals he was spiraling into a psychotic and self-destructive end. As long as Kakashi could stay awake and alive long enough he would survive.

"It does not matter what you say, I will come out of this unscathed. I have done so for longer than you've been alive." Expressionless, cold eyes widened to an uncomfortable point. Cracked, dry lips drew up into a maniacal smile. "I find it greatly fitting that I am able to take down the greatest ninja since the fourth Hokage. Even then you were greatly surpassing all expectations. You're al ruthless as me, Kakashi. Sin for sin, we're brothers. But like Cain and Abel, one is strong and one is weak. One will live and one will die." Unable to suppress himself, Ibiki lunged at Kakashi. With his arms and legs still bound, and his muscles heavy and lethargic with sedatives and overuse, he was nearly helpless. Unfortunate for Ibiki, Kakashi did not need arms and legs to defend and defeat.

Gathering all his chakra, Kakashi locked eyes with his adversary. Slowly spinning, slowly dragging the torture master down, his sharingan wound a web of fear and deceit. Powerful visions of guilt and hell entrapped Ibiki. Blood threatened to drown him. A noose of wailing souls wrapped around that pale, slender throat. Every hurt soul, every destroyed family enacted their vengeance.

As the other man cowered, Kakashi felt strength return to his arms as he ripped free of his ropes. Despite his fatigue and the drugs pumped into his system, he had never felt more alive and more capable. Inside this hell being created for the man in front of him, Kakashi held all the power.

This is how Sakura and the others found him. His tall, overly thin frame towered over a whimpering, broken Ibiki. Waves of anger and fear emanated off the pair with an almost palpable intensity. Their gazes were locked, and no matter any efforts made to break eye contact, they were immovable. It was clear by the horror on Ibiki's face that the tables had turned. At first, Sakura waited for Kakashi to decide he was done with his long time enemy. It was not until Ibiki's lips started turning blue that Sakura realized her Scarecrow had turned murderous. And after quickly checking his vitals, she also realized that he was not only hurting the enemy. The longer he held the connection with his sharingan, the higher his pulse rose, the faster his chakra drained, and the slower his breathing became. It was as if his body was preparing for a final death blow.

"What's he doing?" Naruto stood behind her, an uneasy light in his eyes. "Kakashi has always been strong willed and strong minded. You don't think he's going to kill him, do you?"

"Yes, and himself too, if we don't get him to break the connection." Sakura ran through the possibilities on her mental checklist. Most of the plausible successful ways to break the connection involved massive amounts of pain dealt out to Kakashi. In his current state, that amount of pain could kill him. It was unclear if he could even handle an abrupt halt to his sharingan use.

While she contemplated with utmost care all of her options, a slight tremor began in Kakashi's limbs. Though slow, his breaths came in long, ragged pulls. Color drained from his face and his shoulders drooped. His chakra had reached its lowest level. As his fingertips turned white, he fell. Stubborn even to the last, he held his eyes on those of Ibiki, who was making quiet choking sounds as though he was being strangled by invisible foes.

"SAKURA! Stop thinking and save him!" Naruto's panicked scream lit fire under her feet.

Suddenly unable to keep the calm she was known for as a nurse, Sakura knelt in front of her silver haired shinobi and screamed. It was a scream of her frustrations, her love, her fears, and her exhaustion. Time seemed frozen. Whether it was seconds or minutes, she did not know. It wasn't until her face met the rough and dirtied shirt that she realized Kakashi had broken from his sharingan and now comforted her with what little was left of him.

There was little time wasted in getting Kakashi gathered up and dragged into the hospital. In those briefest of moments before they had wrestled him away from her, Sakura had felt safer than she had in months. Everything was over. Even though there was nothing to show that yet, she could feel it in her bones. Everything was going to be ok.

_A month later…_

Kakashi had collapsed after they had dragged him away from Sakura, but with a week in the hospital and a promise to follow up with the pink haired medic weekly, he fully recovered. Though so many things had happened between him and Sakura the meetings were awkward and unfulfilling. He had wanted nothing more than to wake up and find her hovering over him with a declaration of undying love. Instead he rarely heard from her except for their scheduled checkups. It felt as though a hole had appeared in his person, and while everything that had caused it was resolved, the hole stubbornly stayed. There was so much to say, with no words to say it.

Ibiki had barely survived Kakashi's sharingan. The force of the attack and the intricacy of the web spun had trapped him forever in the hands of his victims. With a lot of deep searching they found that Ibiki was an indirect descendant from the Hayato clan. Though he had not inherited their natural talent for disguise, he had inherited their deep love for torture. The ancestry had also apparently contributed largely to his unique ability to create the fear inducing genjutsu that they had been known for. Ironic justice bound Ibiki to the asylum bed. None were of the opinion that he would ever mentally heal. No one lost any sleep over that.

Though Kakashi still despised Ibiki, he found himself deeply relieved that Sakura had kept him from killing the monster. He would have only contributed to his fragile mental state at the time. It had no surprised him in the least to realize that Sakura had been a thread connecting all of the roughest times of his life. Through them all she had appeared at the hardest times with a smile or frown to enlighten his wearied old mind and pull him through to the next stage.

This thought was prevalent as he sat in his third and final checkup with Sakura. She had been assigned to watch over his physical healing. Although she had done so with no complaints, he had felt as though she was hiding herself behind a nurse-ish smile and clipped conversation. She had even walked in today with an absolute refusal to look at his face. He used the opportunity to watch her slender fingers slide across the paper, slip under her hair and behind the shell of her ear. Her green eyes flit across the room and her lips moved in the usual questions. She paced across the room, her thin figure nearly floating by him.

With a start he realized she had asked the same question three times. In her irritation she had glared at him, finally glancing at his eyes. In the second before she looked away again he saw fear. It was that fear that made him decide he had had enough.

"Why, Sakura?" He kept his voice soft. It was nearly a whisper, quiet enough for her to ignore if she wanted. "Why are you afraid of me?" She did not answer. Instead, she stood still and silent. It was as though she thought he may not see her if she pretended to disappear. With a deep breath he stood from his seat on the hospital chair. With soft steps he made his way to her and wrapped his arms around her torso. She was short enough to wear her could drop his chin on her head and pull her against him.

"I am not afraid of you." Despite her words there was a tremor in her voice.

"You saved my life. And yet you avoid my stare like you are ashamed. Did you do something shame-worthy?" She shook her head minutely against his chest, but he felt a moment of hesitation. Mildly surprised, he pursued the issue further. "Sakura, you have never been a great liar. What could you possibly have done to be ashamed of? You single handedly fought and defeated a man that held everything you feared inside him. You dragged my sorry self all the way back to Konoha. You then turned and fought as hard as you could to save Sasuke's life, then turned around and saved my life and my psyche. This is after you put up with me throughout our entire mission. I assume you finished said mission?" She shook her head again, this time more confidently. "You didn't?"

"Tsunade had Naruto take the official report to the village. They tried to argue that they wanted Ibiki in their custody. Tsunade told them if they wanted him to come and get him. They did not." Her voice was muffled, too quiet for her to be entirely ok.

"Good. You have done enough. This still does not explain what is wrong." He ran his fingers through her hair and felt the sound of her sobs into his shirt. "Tell me."

"If I had just told you the truth in the first place, you would have never been tortured. Sasuke would still be alive. If I had-" She was silenced by his finger covering her lips.

"If you had told the truth, I may have never gotten captured. We may have never found Hayato. We may have never discovered that Ibiki was a traitor. He may never have been… neutralized. And I may never have found the courage to do this." She went stiff in his arms as his mouth ghosted across hers in the lightest of kisses. He pulled back and looked at her, seeing no tell-tale signs of her thoughts on her face.

After long seconds she hesitantly moved back towards him. With her eyes closed, she lifted her face to his and sought his mouth. The kiss was bittersweet as tears fell down her cheeks and left the taste of salt in their wake. It deepened and he knew they were healing.

When she pulled away, he feared she would bolt. It was as likely an outcome as any and the most scarring for him. Instead she simply stared at him with a mixture of dread and hope in her eyes.

"It is nice to realize you're loved, isn't it?" The words had slipped forth in a slow grin and he saw his expression mirrored in her eyes. They would have to face the world with their love but they were prepared. The ones that mattered would accept, even if they didn't understand. The ones that didn't accept were unimportant.


End file.
